Is father christmas real?

[Greenstar22]

9 year old dd just asked me, I kind of didn't answer, what do I say
I don't want to lie and she said she isn't sure.

When they ask, be honest. Let them in on the special secret and now that they've figured it out they get to help keeping it special for the little ones.

Ask her what made her ask the question and find out what she thinks.

Bit schmaltzy but this is quite a nice story/explanation: https://www.stnicholascenter.org/how-to-celebrate/celebrate-at-home/talking-about-santa-claus/become-santa

She said that she isn't sure how he would actually get the presents to everyone. I said did anyone at school say he wasn't real and she said no.
She goes to a tiny rural school so it's very possible no one has told her.
I feel a bit sad! She's my youngest.

It’s good that she’s thinking critically about it, it would be a bit worrying if she wasn’t questioning it at her age tbh. So tell her the truth. Then continue all the ‘magic’ with a knowing wink- Just because it’s not true doesn’t mean it’s not fun!

Both mine stopped believing when they were around 8/9, dd1 is such a logical thinker and just worked it out. Dd2 is autistic and was petrified of Father Christmas so one year when she was shaking in fear and refusing to sleep I told her he wasn’t real, Christmas has been much better since 🤣.

My mum always said “old enough to ask, old enough to know the truth”.

I'd say well Father Christmas is magic and magic people do magical things. That's how he is able to deliver everyone's presents.
If she still believes but is asking questions try and keep the magic alive for another year

@FreyafromLondon that's exactly what I said, it's magic! Will definitely be her last year though.

He is based on St Nicholas - a saint who was real person.
Use the story of St Nick as a starting point.

This is the best advice.

I'd be wary of going full on with the truth - a friend of mine asked at home when she was about this age, fully expecting to be reassured he was real, and was devastated when her mum, relieved, told her the truth. Even as an adult she kept coming back to it.

In my house, we never discussed it. A version of 'Santa' still comes to my DC, all part of the magic, and they are all teens. I never had the 'not real' discussion with my parents either, just gradually evolved.

Just because he doesn't actually deliver the presents doesn't mean Santa Magic isn't real. Its the collective effort of everyone that makes it real... the people who volunteer to be elves, Santa etc at Christmas fayres, the charity toy drives, the Sleigh tours, even individual things such as a Mumsnetter helping another by picking up a toy request when it was available locally to them but out of stock where the requester was.

9 is a natural age to be asking the "is he real" question. I'd avoid answering it directly and deflect with "what do you believe", "how do you think he delivers everything?", etc. Do the Father Christmas delivery as normal this year. Between now and next Christmas she'll come to a natural realisation, which I always think is nicer than the harsh truth being confirmed by parents.

"Who knows my love" in a very vague way was my standard response at that age. And then move on.

Now they're older I might ask what they think and take it from there.

She knows he isn’t real she’s 9

Yes Father Christmas is real. I'm 45 and still believe.

I believe in the magic of Father Christmas.

That was how it worked when we were growing up too- there was never a big discussion really.

You say he doesn't. Different people bring gifts in different places. In Spain it's the three wise men who bring gifts on the 5th of January. La befana brings the gifts in Italy and in many other parts of Europe and Latin America, baby Jesus bring the presents...

I'm 61 and I agree. Even though my sister caught Mum sneaking downstairs with armfuls of presents on Christmas Eve when DS should have been asleep!

There's a few here, but maybe avoid the tale of Krampus!

erasplus.com/the-most-interesting-christmas-gifts-bringers-of-europe/

Of course he is!

In a conversation with my now 20
year old daughter, she told me “ she was terrified of an old man in a red suit coming Ito the house “
even thought he was always only allowed in downstairs to fill the stockings by the fire
so crazy we teach them to be wary of strangers etc then tell them Santa had free rein ! To come in at night whilst we where sleeping

Oh God.

We were in a cafe last week, and 5yo DD announced randomly in her foghorn voice, "Father Christmas isn't real. He is a lie grown-ups tell children to make them go to sleep on Christmas. And God isn't alive. And," witheringly, "Jesus is a FOSSIL."

So much for magic, eh. Thankfully there were no other children around.

My DD is 4 and when she asks these type questions I just sort of shrug and say "what do you think?" I am fine to go along with it but when they start to question i think it's unfair to outright lie when they start asking technical questions.

You can answer this question with a lie. Your dd won’t be an idiot, she will know, and she will appreciate you keeping the magic going for her. My dd13 obviously does not believe but I will go to my grave before I tell her outright!

I told my dd who is now 13 that if she doesn't believe, she doesn't get presents 🎁 she's playing along now 😂