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Original poster

What age did your children stop believing?

56 replies

bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 12:14

I was just wondering what the average is? I've just had someone upset me because I was involved in a light-hearted discussion about Santa, and I mentioned that my 10 (almost 11) year old still believes, but that I'm sure it will be the last year for him. (For context, he is autistic, and has other neurodiversities, currently isn't at school and I had no intention of allowing him to start secondary school still believing.) I didn't share this additional info at the time, but I'm just a bit upset that someone could be so cruel, I appreciate that almost 11 is likely at the upper end of the age bracket, but he's having a really tough time at the moment and I didn't see any harm in allowing him one more year?

What is the average? Maybe I'm being cruel. He's not at school right now so I wasn't worried about bullying or anything. He doesn't really have any friends or go anywhere, so I didn't think it was causing any harm.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 02/12/2023 12:23

One of mine was told by another child in year 4, the other I had to tell before he went to high school!

2anddone · 02/12/2023 12:27

DC 15 and 18. Never had 'the chat' still play along with all things Santa plus the bloody elves have come back again this year Wink
I am guessing first year of high school but they are bloody good actors so I honestly don't know Grin

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 12:27

Ah no, that's sad that one of yours was told by another child! My nan told me when I was 9, my mum was not impressed 🤣 Glad mine isn't the only year 6 aged child who still believes!

OP posts:
Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 12:28

I love that!! Sounds like a lot of fun 😊 And I especially love that you still have elves, we love the elves in our house! Christmas should be fun!

OP posts:
Frozenhobby · 02/12/2023 12:30

DS was 7.

CyberCritical · 02/12/2023 12:32

DD is 9 and I think she kind of 'knows' but not 100% and doesn't want to stop believing or risk being wrong so is playing along.

GeneCity · 02/12/2023 12:33

I think DS has probably had a gradual realisation over time, but neither of us have ever acknowledged it directly. He definitely believed until relatively late though (12yo).

Sprogonthetyne · 02/12/2023 12:42

I'm pretty sure my 7yo doesn't, we've not had an actual chat about it but think he just sees it as a game people play along with, not an actual person. I've never said either way, present alive overnight without any labels, and the kids can decide for themselves where they think they come from.

housethatbuiltme · 02/12/2023 14:22

I was 4/5 it was in reception... one kid told us all and that was it.

DS was 5/6 year old (year 1) when he announced he 'knew', he then regressed to pretending hard at about 8 (think he realized its more fun to go along with it all)

My middle child is 5, in reception and seems to fully believe in the magic and whimsy.

My 2 year old has no clue whats going on lol.

DGPP · 02/12/2023 14:24

Age 9

Jellycats4life · 02/12/2023 14:28

Two autistic kids here. One had to be told around the age of 10-11. She could clearly see the story was physically impossible but, bless her, would have believed us if we swore he was real. One day she asked again “is he real though?”, I said no (and explained more about the myth and why we tell it) and she was 100% fine with it.

My youngest at 8 literally said, matter of factly last week “I know the parents do it” 😂

spriots · 02/12/2023 14:30

5 but most of the kids at his school are from different faiths so I think it was therefore easier for him to start questioning

3WildOnes · 02/12/2023 14:30

I'm not sure if any of mine believe or have ever believed. They have never asked. I assume that they never fully believed and just went along with it as a fun game. They are 3, 8 and 13.

O0oO0o · 02/12/2023 14:33

They were both 8.

safetyfreak · 02/12/2023 18:04

10yr old for my oldest DD.

Sunnydays41 · 02/12/2023 21:03

DD is 7, awaiting ND assessment, and just this evening, said "Santa isn't real, the parents bring the presents." She said similar last year too though both times we have denied it (mostly because her 5-year-old brother has been in earshot.)

She's very switched on and matter-of-fact and I just think she can't possibly see how Father Christmas would work. Touch wood, I think DS does still believe.

Umph · 02/12/2023 21:05

Sunnydays41 · 02/12/2023 21:03

DD is 7, awaiting ND assessment, and just this evening, said "Santa isn't real, the parents bring the presents." She said similar last year too though both times we have denied it (mostly because her 5-year-old brother has been in earshot.)

She's very switched on and matter-of-fact and I just think she can't possibly see how Father Christmas would work. Touch wood, I think DS does still believe.

Edited

Our 5yo (waiting for ASD assessment) is like this. He’s too literal to think it makes sense.

Gingeri · 02/12/2023 21:10

Ds is 15 and we never had the chat. He seemed to know or suspect at high school age.

LuluBlakey1 · 02/12/2023 21:14

Ds1 is 8, almost 9, and is playing along for DD (6)and DS1 (4) but I think he knows. He said to me the other day when I said 'You can't get up before 7am in Christmas morning mind,'
'Is that because you and Dad'll have been up late delivering our presents' and grinned.
I just smiled enigmatically.

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:21

Such a mix of ages here! Although this has made me feel better that while my DS is slightly older than most, he's also not wildly far away. I certainly don't think allowing him to believe for one more year is me being a bad mother, or that I'm just allowing him to believe for my own entertainment, as I was told earlier 🙄

That's interesting that other ND kids have realised earlier, I thought that it was because of his ND that he still believes! He is very literal, but more in the sense that we've told him that is where his presents come from, so he hasn't questioned it, he is overly trusting!

Oh gosh, 4/5 seems so young! I'd be so sad if my 4yo said she doesn't believe, I assumed we had years left yet!

OP posts:
Surroundedbyfools · 02/12/2023 21:22

My two are still very little (ones 2 and ones almost 2months) so I’ve still got the believing years to come. I am pretty amazing that some children still believe at 9/10 etc. for me I doubted it when I was 7 and I found an art set in my parents bedroom and thought to myself if I get this for Xmas il know for sure. Obvz I did get it for Xmas. I never said anything and wasn’t particularly upset by it. My own mum probably thinks I believed a lot longer !

TravellingT · 02/12/2023 21:24

Eldest dd is 7 and unfortunately her teacher told her...
Thankfully she plays along with it for her younger sisters but I was devastated for her. I thought she'd have a couple more years!

Tesoroxx · 02/12/2023 21:24

My 11 year old still fully belives but the 7 year old has questioned it 🤣

Cincinnatus · 02/12/2023 21:25

Youngest is 10 and still fully believes.

DrCoconut · 02/12/2023 21:28

@Sunnydays41 my youngest worked it out in year 1. Him and his friend just concluded that it's illogical. He's awaiting CAMHS for possible (probable) ND. The others were about 8. That seems a fairly typical age from experience.

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