Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

What age did your children stop believing?

56 replies

bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 12:14

I was just wondering what the average is? I've just had someone upset me because I was involved in a light-hearted discussion about Santa, and I mentioned that my 10 (almost 11) year old still believes, but that I'm sure it will be the last year for him. (For context, he is autistic, and has other neurodiversities, currently isn't at school and I had no intention of allowing him to start secondary school still believing.) I didn't share this additional info at the time, but I'm just a bit upset that someone could be so cruel, I appreciate that almost 11 is likely at the upper end of the age bracket, but he's having a really tough time at the moment and I didn't see any harm in allowing him one more year?

What is the average? Maybe I'm being cruel. He's not at school right now so I wasn't worried about bullying or anything. He doesn't really have any friends or go anywhere, so I didn't think it was causing any harm.

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 02/12/2023 21:31

bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:21

Such a mix of ages here! Although this has made me feel better that while my DS is slightly older than most, he's also not wildly far away. I certainly don't think allowing him to believe for one more year is me being a bad mother, or that I'm just allowing him to believe for my own entertainment, as I was told earlier 🙄

That's interesting that other ND kids have realised earlier, I thought that it was because of his ND that he still believes! He is very literal, but more in the sense that we've told him that is where his presents come from, so he hasn't questioned it, he is overly trusting!

Oh gosh, 4/5 seems so young! I'd be so sad if my 4yo said she doesn't believe, I assumed we had years left yet!

I would definitely give him one more year. My 7 Yr old is ND and still a believer. Long may it continue! I think some ND children, like many NTs struggle with belief in magic and the abstract, but lots will believe what they are told by someone they trust. I know my child believes because I do. I know that will shift at some point, but am happy it is not yet. It brings such joy to believe in magic.

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:32

@TravellingT - The teacher told them?! Oh my goodness, that's so sad! I'd possibly understand slipping up like that if they were 9/10, but not 7!

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 02/12/2023 21:32

TravellingT · 02/12/2023 21:24

Eldest dd is 7 and unfortunately her teacher told her...
Thankfully she plays along with it for her younger sisters but I was devastated for her. I thought she'd have a couple more years!

That is terrible. I would be putting in a complaint.

Mustbethemulledwine · 02/12/2023 21:33

Both of mine were told by a classmate and started doubting in year 5.
My eldest pretended to believe throughout christmas in year 6, but come January (still in year 6) he came home after school one day, and just told me he no longer believes and that was that.
Ds2 is currently in year 6 and he's dropped heavy hints he knows but hasn't outright asked if santa is real, simply asks if I believe in santa and I'm truthful when I tell him I believe in the magic of santa (careful not to say I believe in the person) but I expect come next year he'll follow in this brothers footsteps and tell me he knows.

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:35

@Snugglemonkey - That is my feeling on it, there is such little magic in life, especially when you become an adult, if we can let the magic of childhood last a bit longer then why not!

OP posts:
tpmumtobe · 02/12/2023 21:38

Both started questioning the logic around 10. I suspect the 13 yr old knows for sure, reckon I've got one more year with the 11 yr old. Have no intention of ever telling them outright though, we all enjoy the charade :)

Plus when they did used to ask I'd just say "what, you think I have time, on top of aaaaaalll the other things in my to do list, to shop around for loads of little bits and bobs for your stocking?! Are you quite mad?!"

That shut them up :)

Let yours enjoy it for as long they want don't let anyone judge otherwise.

Hamburgler666 · 02/12/2023 21:38

My 8 year old asked last week if he was real.

I said yes! I'm not ready for them to stop believing yet!

Hamburgler666 · 02/12/2023 21:40

tpmumtobe · 02/12/2023 21:38

Both started questioning the logic around 10. I suspect the 13 yr old knows for sure, reckon I've got one more year with the 11 yr old. Have no intention of ever telling them outright though, we all enjoy the charade :)

Plus when they did used to ask I'd just say "what, you think I have time, on top of aaaaaalll the other things in my to do list, to shop around for loads of little bits and bobs for your stocking?! Are you quite mad?!"

That shut them up :)

Let yours enjoy it for as long they want don't let anyone judge otherwise.

I also quickly made up a lie about the stocking and how it couldn't possibly be me Grin

They seemed quite happy and accepting of that explanation!

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:42

Love these replies! You're all making me feel a lot better, I know it's silly to let other people upset you over these kinds of things, but I was quite hurt earlier. I will continue to promote the magic 😀

OP posts:
SausageinaBun · 02/12/2023 21:44

DD2 didn't believe last year at 7, not sure about the year before.

I tried quite hard to make it believable when she was 6, I thought. Both DDs got presents I'd said weren't allowed in the house.

The main thing for me is that when they know, they are under no circumstances to tell their friends. We had quite a commotion at one point when another child announced that santa wasn't real to the whole class. Adult friendships never recovered.

TravellingT · 02/12/2023 21:45

bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:32

@TravellingT - The teacher told them?! Oh my goodness, that's so sad! I'd possibly understand slipping up like that if they were 9/10, but not 7!

It was awful. Thankfully, a TA witnessed it, which helped with our complaint. DD told said teacher she'd just sent off her letter to Santa, and the teacher replied with the truth, in brutal detail 😭

I'd be fine if it was an accident, or even if she was confirming DDs suspicions, but she just told her outright!

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 21:51

@TravellingT - That's so incredibly thoughtless. What happened with the complaint? Did you get an apology or anything? I mean, not that it would help I guess, the damage had been done 😢

OP posts:
cookie389 · 02/12/2023 21:59

I confirmed it aged 10 for eldest. He says he had doubts for a year or 2 before but seemed thoroughly convinced so I'm unsure.
8 year old believes but says he knows about the tooth fairy so who knows how long that will last. Both ND.

cookie389 · 02/12/2023 22:00

I heard the average is 8 but they pretend for a year or two longer. 8 still seems young to me!

Whalewatchers · 02/12/2023 22:03

7 year old fully believes in Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny!

IWishIWasABaller · 02/12/2023 22:08

All mine believed till 11/12 yrs. They all attended a small rural school where children are left to be children , and if there is one or two in the class that don't believe they certainly don't tell the others . My youngest is 11 and still believes , as do all her friends.

Original poster
bumblebee1987 · 02/12/2023 22:32

@IWishIWasABaller - I love that! It sounds idyllic 😊 Children should be allowed to be children for as long as possible!

OP posts:
Rockfordpeach · 02/12/2023 22:33

DD was in Year 6, I told her before she started secondary school (she cried 😔)

DS is 6 and still believes

Mindovermatter247 · 02/12/2023 23:30

Ds15 knows officially this year but told me he knew years ago, which tracks because when he was about 10 he was asking very bizarre questions about Santa, he never outright asked. Dd11 still believes as far as I know.. unless she’s a bloody good actress. I was 11 when I found out, saw my mum putting my stocking back in my room 😂

NameChange30 · 02/12/2023 23:40

My oldest is in Y2, so is 6 and turning 7 in a few months, still believes in Santa but had lots of questions last year and I didn't feel hugely comfortable with the elaborate lies I had to come up with! He does know that the "Santa" you see at meet Santa experiences is not the "real" Santa - so I explained that it's just a game and we have to pretend it's Santa in case any of the other (younger) children think it's the "real" Santa. I'm not sure when he's going to work out that Santa isn't real at all - I think we'll keep it up this Christmas but next year when he's in Y3 it'll be harder. The problem is that he has a younger sibling but he might enjoy pretending with us for her sake.

PandaCory · 02/12/2023 23:49

My eldest is yr 6 and also autistic. I think he’s having doubts (hasn’t wanted to write a letter to Santa this year) but his little brother is still very much a believer. Not sure if he’s going along with it to keep his brother happy or because he hasn’t made up his mind yet or if he’s just in it for the stocking…

UncleBryn · 03/12/2023 07:10

Mine were both 12. My youngest was in the first year of secondary and friend told her the elf wasn't real and she then questioned FC. I don't think she had a clue until then! She hated finding out that way. She then asked if her older sibling knew and I said I think so, so she carried on the magic for them (even though they were 3 years older and clearly didn't believe)! It was so lovely that she didn't want to spoil it so she did the elf and everything! We still talk about FC now as if he is real. Our elf will still write a letter on Christmas Eve as they've already said they still want that! I wasn't going to tell them unless they asked, a friend told their DC before going to secondary school and they hated knowing that way, there was no need to say. My eldest says they believed for so long as I do such a good job! Made me very happy. Just keep the magic going for as long as you can.

everybluesock · 03/12/2023 07:18

8

InTheRainOnATrain · 03/12/2023 07:26

DD is 6 and I know she doesn’t believe, because she told me so in the spring which was prompted by realising that the tooth fairy isn’t real, but she still talks the talk and loves to go along with it! I think most kids have the rational thought process to figure it out by about 8?? But it’s fun to keep up the story! Just like how they still play pretend and do small world play at that age e.g. they know that the Sylvanian Families aren’t real but it doesn’t stop them playing with them as if they are.

ReadyForPumpkins · 03/12/2023 07:29

I think mine have doubts from year 6. It was how she wrote her Santa letter. It became very specific about exactly what toy she wanted. Year 8 now and she even included website and alternatives.

We never told her.