Going to a friend’s house for Christmas Day… what to take?

[Itisallgoingtobeok]

This year my marriage failed spectacularly, and so this will be my first Christmas alone. A work colleague who I have known for years has invited me to join him, his new partner and her two daughters who are in their early to mid 20s. I am so touched by their kindness. Of course I know him very well, but I don’t know his partner or the daughters at all. I have offered to help cook, or bring some food, but they have said no (nicely!). I’d like to take something with me, either presents for each of them, or I wondered about a hamper. The hampers I have seen don’t look great, so all ideas for what I could take with me are gratefully received!

I was going to say, ask them. But you obviously have. So that piece of advice is useless.

I would suggest posh crackers. Will be pulled on the day, so won’t hang round. And nice drink - including some non-alcohol options.

For gifts, how about hand wash and lotion sets- nice ones, or a candle each? Consumable or regiftable if they don't like them ? Definitely take wine if they drink and again with no expectation that you drink it there and then. They sound lovely

Nuts and dried fruit work well instead of (more) chocolates. Can be opened on day to share after lunch or if they end up being left can still be useful after Christmas in breakfast porridge etc! There are usually some nicely arranged trays at this time of year.

I agree with chocolates and wine. They can be put away for later if they’re not wanted on Christmas Day.

They may have asked you not to bring anything as they actually like doing the cooking and you’re an unknown. I always remember a friend coming over for supper and offering to bring the pudding. I had made a real effort and cooked a gorgeous meal and she bought an out of date, supermarket basic brand pudding that she kept bragging about picking up discounted. I don’t let her bring meal items now but will ask her to bring chocolates for after. (Obviously I never said anything to her!)

Why don’t you ask your friend for some tips, ie does his partner like scented candles, does she have a favourite flower?

At the risk of stating the obvious, it depends on them! What I mean is, you probably have some idea of what they're like just through knowing him. So for me personally I wouldn't want the cheese tree, the prosecco (especially not the minis), the crackers (I'd have them crackers already) etc. I'd be ok with a cake if it was fruit since they last for ages and I'd be very happy with a panettone. Wine would always be appreciated, as would a bottle of port. Baileys would be given away. But someone else would be totally the opposite of that. Do you have any ideas from conversations you've had over the years whether they're drinkers or not, foodies or not etc?

The safest option is going to be nice chocs and nice wine I would think, they can be passed on if not wanted. I do also like the charity donation idea if you could pick one they would like.

Bottle of champagne plus £15-£20 bottle of red (maybe Pinot noir). If you’ve any budget left, box of really chocolates

a bottle of good champagne and posh chocolates

I would take some fancy chocolates, then they can either share them on the day, save for later or regift, it keeps it simple

I would buy one family gift of -

Nice champagne
Hotel chocolat box of lovely chocs
White company winter candle
Just Eat gift voucher in a card with a note to say thanks for hosting my lovely dinner, i would like to treat you to a takeaway to say thank you type thing?

Think the Vin Santo and cantatucci (sp!?) a lovely idea, also something from where you are from - food/drink, a gift or tradition. Can I suggest some bulbs (not yet in full flower) in an attractive container so they can enjoy them later. I would not do more personal gifts but keep it as an upgrade to what you would normally take to a friend's house when invited for dinner.

Most households have too much food at Christmas so I’d avoid bringing more into the mix. Instead, I think something they could enjoy later would be best like a couple of bottles of really good wine and then I’d also bring a bottle of champagne for the meal (which they could also keep for later if they like)

Unless your skint, take a bottle or two of champagne, a stocking each for the kids, and something like a personalised cheese board (can get them from Amazon) for them.

don’t do flowers. It’s the one time of year where no one wants a bouquet of flowers cluttering the place up.

I'd do wine, bottle of branded non alcoholic drink eg bottle green to cover someone not drinking then posh chocolates as a gift a local artisan maker ideally rather than commercial, our local farm shop is excellent as an example

I’d also not want the cheese tree. I’d have enough food in and feel bound to put it out and eat it.

Could you make your own hamper with wine, beer, soft drinks for kids, snacks, eg crisps, chocolate,

we have done this for a neighbour the last few years and they use it for a movie night.

Agree with others that it's really inappropriate to take food if you've been specifically asked not to ... good wine/chocolates would be the best option. If the host has planned the meal you really don't want to be dealing with random cheese, cake gifts etc.

I say this every year but I volunteer in a Food Bank and we are overwhelmed with unwanted 'Hamper type' food gifts after Christmas.

Take wine and chocolate but most importantly BE a good guest. Smile, the food is lovely, what a beautiful photo on the wall etc. have conversation on easy topics like best film they've all seen that year etc. join in. When I've had extra guests at Christmas it is the effort to be kind and warm that I've appreciated most above any presents. I'm not saying you won't be, but I think it's underrated! In the same vein if you are thinking of gifts for the table you can get small tins of true/false cards or quiz questions, that kind of thing, which can be good fun and help over a long meal. I had family and two foreign guests last year and The Works 'pass the sprout! Table game was the best thing to get everyone talking together. Have a lovely time.

Id take some posh chocs, a christmas cactus and a bottle of champagne

This hits the spot. A nice bottle of chilled Champagne and a decent box of quality chocolates and you won't go wrong. Don't faff.

Sorry I've no help but laughing reading this thread at those who haven't read the original post properly. The 'kids' are in the early 20s. It's an all adult day

Hope your friend has run this past his new partner. It's a lovely thing to do for you

I would take a couple of bottles of decent wine, a box of nice chocolates or biscuits (the M&S Shortbread is a good one) and a jar of homemade marmalade (I made this one a couple of years ago, and everybody loved it - I did 2 versions, skip the grapefruit if they're on statins, add extra lemon and lime)
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/user/4531666/recipe/christmas-spiced-marmalade

Champagne

If they have said no to bringing food, please don’t. It is incredibly irritating to have to find space for food that perhaps doesn’t work with what you are serving.

I would take two bottles of Champagne (chilled), and send a card and some flowers in the days afterwards.

Take something for the kids it always makes me smile when we have guests and they do that and include them

Thanks for all the great ideas everyone. As the kids are grown-up I have decided to go with a couple of nice bottles of wine and a gift voucher for a restaurant I know they go to regularly, so in the New Year they can treat themselves.

I really am touched that they have done this for me. It really is very kind.

Merry Christmas everyone.