Making a small family Christmas day more magical

[Piplette]

The Christmases of my childhood were epic. Large extended family, 30+ for dinner in a small terraced house = magical chaos.

My immediate family is small. Me, DH, 2 DC plus one parent each + their spouse and 1 sibling each - no other children.

Despite inviting everyone to ours most years it's only ever my mum and her spouse that come. I appreciate that people should get to choose their own Christmas day but it makes me sad that they choose to go to friends instead or stay home in their PJ's rather than spend that day with family.

So again this year it's just me, DH, our 2 young DC plus my mum and her spouse. I can handle mum in small doses or in larger groups. I'm not a huge fan of her partner. He's not a bad person but he is irritating especially in a smaller group.

I'm dreading this year again because of this and looking for ideas to make it more enjoyable (other than just getting drunk!).

Those with smaller gatherings where you don't necessarily all love each others company how do you make it at least bearable or even better enjoyable!

You should appreciate them more and do something you’ll all enjoy

Appreciate who sorry?

I'm asking for suggestions on how to enjoy things when the group is smaller and perhaps not as close knit.

Board games?

What a stupid post.

Set limits in the times you will see them over Xmas
Alternate setting then Xmas day and Boxing day
And yes - board games! Have a structure for the day.

A treasure trail would also work... if you meet in another location.

Gah - alternate seeing them..,

And treasure trails: www.treasuretrails.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsqDG1ruhggMVCv53Ch0s6AOPEAAYASAAEgLoavD_BwE

Yes we'll be setting a specific period for dinner ie arrive at 1pm for 2pm lunch and done by 4ish.

If it was up to them they'd want to come to ours first thing (one year they wanted to come as soon as the kids woke up even if it was 6am!)

Brother/SIL will pop in at some point late morning with gifts but leave before dinner.

Board games might work although mum doesn't really "do" board games.

How long they will spend at yours? What exactly are your problems with them ? What do they like to do in general? What do you want to do? How old are your DC?

That is definitely not a small family Christmas! That's more than my entire living family.

It will just be DD & I this year

If it's not raining, a walk is nice. Those who don't want to go get to stay in.
We usually do one between the meal and dessert.
Films and games that your dc can join in with.

Same for me!🤣 DD, me & our dog!

They'll spend 3-4 hours with us for dinner.

We're just very different people - unfortunately being related doesn't mean you click with people. I don't remember ever being close with my mum even as a child - she wasn't a very loving parent - not cruel or unkind just distant and very strict (children should be seen and not heard). My dad was very differ - very warm and funny.

Mums partner is just annoying - tries to force fun. Constantly interrupts conversations with random, unrelated comments. Kids love him though and he is great with them.

They don't like doing much. Eating mostly (both are morbidly obese causing health issues). They don't follow current affairs, have hobbies, read etc so conversation topics are limited to gossip about people I don't know or talking about the kids. Spending extended periods with them really highlights this - conversation doesn't flow so it's more work to keep things going hence looking for ideas to help.

Kids are 4 and 9.

How long will they stay after Christmas dinner? If you're setting a 1pm arrival time, then the afternoon will probably take care of itself - do some presents when they arrive, and then eat. If they're around for a bit afterwards, I'd plan some sort of interactive game depending on how old your dc are. Would charades or articulate or family version of trivial pursuit work? Leave it up to your mum and partner whether they join in, just focus on something that will be fun for the DC and enjoy that. If they're staying over put on a film later and drink wine

My family is small, so when we see my side rather than DH's (which is big and lively), it can be a bit sad, but I just try and focus on the DC. It's hard work though. We've had a lot of particularly sad bereavements on my side which makes it especially tough, but I just try and focus on what the children will enjoy, and leave the adults who can be a bit dull to join in or be bored in the corner.

It's all relative though right? It's small for me based on my childhood and how big it could be (still small in the grand scheme but more people = more conversation = more fun).

Well probably go for a walk in the morning - dog needs out anyway 🤣.

Unfortunately my mum cant walk due to health issues most linked to her weight as a walk would have been lovely as there are some beautifully decorated houses around us.

Thank you..I think you get my dilemma! And you're right its more about the kids than anyone else.

Surely at this age its about the children- time spent opening presents, building children's toys and then playing with them? Board games, card games and a walk. If your guests don't want to join in thats up to them

It is hard we're overseas and it can be just me DP and DS and i compare it to times spent with my extended family etc - but it dawned on me that DS actually likes it just the three of us and that is his normality

we choose to do Xmas with just me, dh and our 3 dc. And it's honestly always magical. We celebrate our own faith celebrations with family and it's always chaotic not to mention all various family politics rearing heads, so we welcome
Xmas alone just us and the dc with open arms, and our dc love being alone with us.

This year I briefly considered inviting dh's parents but realised that if they did come it would mean conversation would be purely with them and not involve the dc whatsoever , so I very quickly scrapped that idea.

Sorry, forgot to add ideas.

We always play Cluedo as a family which my dc love, also Christmas tv, playing /building new toys, go out for a long walk if it's dry. Everyone joins in with the cooking /food prep as well which is lovely

Thanks for answering my questions.
Tell your mum and her partner that you will be out for a walk in the morning ( and go for it) that’s why they can’t come earlier.
Offer some simple short games which kids like so your guests will be playing with kids while you do washing up/ cleaning after dinner. Maybe you can discuss your childhood Christmases at the table ( only if it’s a safe topic).
You can play Secret Santa game, it suits all ages - only in your case you’d have to prepare all presents yourself. You can also prepare a quiz for everyone.
I think short and simple is the key. It sounds like your Mum wouldn’t want to play charades for the whole evening but a short child friendly quiz would be ok.

For your own sanity create a points card, real or in your head with a list of things you know they will say or do and tick it off as they do.

For a walk could you hire a wheelchair? The red cross hire them out for a small fee. Get the children to decorate it and get some battery powered fairy lights.

Get the children to prepare a 'performance' for their grandparents, a song, story or dance. Get them to do this for a couple of weeks.

Pick a film for you all to watch together, that will give you something to talk about.

Board games can be difficult with different ages but you can play in teams instead. Pictionary or possibly trivial pursuit - you can get the childrens questions as well as the adult ones.

Snakes and ladders, I may, while baby sitting have given the youngest child a weighted die so they win every time. They cost about £2 - £5 and it is money well spent.

What about hiding things round the garden like an Easter egg hunt - small /silly gift rather than food the fox might find.
When I was little we had a gift off the Xmas tree in the evening- for some reason always looked forward to it all day - DCs can look for the GPS present if it’s too much for them.

I hate Xmas films as people always talk through it. Also feel it’s more a time for games -even things like pin the tail on the donkey-quite funny if adults who don’t usually ‘play’ join in.

That's great advice.
Anyone else read the first word as Sex?

The benefit of a small gatherings is you can give your children lots of attention which they love. Don't spend the day in the kitchen. A simplish Christmas lunch would be fine.