Making a small family Christmas day more magical

[Piplette]

The Christmases of my childhood were epic. Large extended family, 30+ for dinner in a small terraced house = magical chaos.

My immediate family is small. Me, DH, 2 DC plus one parent each + their spouse and 1 sibling each - no other children.

Despite inviting everyone to ours most years it's only ever my mum and her spouse that come. I appreciate that people should get to choose their own Christmas day but it makes me sad that they choose to go to friends instead or stay home in their PJ's rather than spend that day with family.

So again this year it's just me, DH, our 2 young DC plus my mum and her spouse. I can handle mum in small doses or in larger groups. I'm not a huge fan of her partner. He's not a bad person but he is irritating especially in a smaller group.

I'm dreading this year again because of this and looking for ideas to make it more enjoyable (other than just getting drunk!).

Those with smaller gatherings where you don't necessarily all love each others company how do you make it at least bearable or even better enjoyable!

It's not answering your question, but I can't help wondering who prepared everything for 30 in a small house in your childhood?

Try not to overthink it. Christmas is all about the kids so I always find most fit he day taken with opening and playing with presents. I always try to get DC a board game or a game we can all play together.

We used to have large-ish family gatherings but recent years have done the opposite just us and DC and honestly I love it. This year I'm doing a really simple Christmas dinner, prepping as much Xmas Eve so I can enjoy the day. We will go for a walk at some point but spend the day in cod or table clothes playing with the kids toys and eating.

I know your mum can't walk but perhaps you could go for one and get some fresh air?

We used to go away for Christmas and it was lovely, and avoided all family stress, as well as stopping the just holding out for bedtime after eating and drinking too much. So that’s my tip!

Failing which what about lunch out? Or a walk, or other physical activity.

Board games are the work of the devil 😂 But could do a family quiz?

or crackers with a game inside: the kazoo ones are fun, or modelling clay ones

Indoor fireworks? My kids love them so I tend to put some in dh's stocking. Good for entertaining the whole table between courses. Also the magic powder that changes the colour of fire. Graham & Green sell both.

Do they definitely have to come on CD? Could you not do Christmas Eve for a meal and then have CD yourselves?

If they do have to come on the day, I agree with the PP who said arrive at 2, eat at 3 and then hopefully send them on their way.

If you’d like a big, bustling Christmas you might be able to organise that. I’d bet that there might be a few people in your circle that could be in a similar situation to yourself, or single parents etc - maybe some of your dc’s friends. We don’t have to limit sharing Christmas to family, particularly in this day and age when big connected families are no longer the norm. It might not be something for this year but perhaps in the future?

In the meantime, what I suggest for this year is that you divide up the day - up early with the dc for the exciting part, then a lovely breakfast with them (we have a few different table cloths for the christmas period which is a quick way to feel special), and head out for that walk if you want. It’s a great way to set a boundary with your mum if she’s not a walker.

I used to enjoy having relatives come and keep the dc busy and let me get on with cooking - I was a sahm and it was a nice change to cook without “help” and get to faff about setting the table and arranging candles. That might not be how you feel, but if you can see an advantage to them try and work it.

It can help to have something else to take peoples attention if conversation is a strain - tv playing a Christmas movie in the background, something like Laurel & Hardy that doesn’t need sound and you can be “distracted” watching for a moment. I have a Christmas jigsaw that people can work on. Leaving out one of those giant Christmas crosswords in the newspaper can be another option.

We have two gift opening sessions - Santa in the morning at silly o’clock, and then later on before sitting down to eat, we do the family gift exchange. And we make a bit of a palaver out of it, passing them round, opening one by one etc. It fills half an hour, and also means that the dc have something new that they’re eager to go and play with, after dinner so the adults can relax at the table and linger. You could also plan a movie for the dc at this time.

I’d also look at doing something after the guests leave as that feels flat for dc. A boardgame fits well there and is a tradition that ages well. Or story time - that could evolve into reading their new books when they’re older. Or a special meal/treat/food - could be as simple as opening a tin of biscuits and making a cup of tea.

I think you are putting a lot of pressure on the day.
Have a lovely morning with your children, go for a nice walk.
When they arrive have drinks and open presents, eat dinner, maybe with some table games (racing sprouts, trivia crackers, that sort of thing, low pressure), then all retreat to the sofa to watch a Xmas movie.
Let the children play quietly during the movie if they want, open a box of chocolates, let adults nap, etc.
Then to nudge them out the door, if that's what you want, agree it's the children's movie choice and put on Frozen, Star Wars, Trolls or whatever is their choice. 😂

Following for inspo. I like the Christmas jigsaw idea.

Mine are similar ages and games like sling puck go down well. I'm pondering what to get this year to supplement that. Something active enough that my DS feels like he's moving, while actually sitting so the older generation are happy to play!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/SULOLI-Slingshot-Hockey-Parent-child-Interactive/dp/B09N9337T5/

Might go with build your own pinball this year. DS loves screwball Scramble so this is kind of the next level!

buildyourownkits.com/product/pinball-machine/

Thanks all. Indoor fireworks and some sort of secret Santa sounds good. I remember at boxing day when we visited my dad's family we'd play a game called spin the knife (not as risky as it sounds) and my aunt would have bought lots of small, cheap gifts and it was a bit of a lucky dip to see what you won. Think I'll do that - I'd forgotten all about it!

It was my grans house so everyone brought something towards the meal and we had to eat in separate sittings - was literally like one of those stand up skits where the ironing board is used to extend the table and some people are perched on bar stools - it was brilliant!!

Aww, that does sound amazing, @Piplette. I hope you can have a good time this year.

Can you recommend a decent brand of indoor fireworks please? I bought some quite a few years ago and most of them didn't work very well. Love the idea though, happy to try again

@OMGitsnotgood I have bought these ones: https://www.grahamandgreen.co.uk/retro-indoor-fireworks

The kids also love this, which makes a great stocking filler: https://www.grahamandgreen.co.uk/magic-fire-dust?gclid=CjwKCAjwkY2qBhBDEiwAoQXK5Y7DUzGjKW3gjbxmWvH4puUYzfKEaKcSW5xw6GET0FwZYcdKZVsI-RoCShUQAvD_BwE#fo_c=3765&fo_k=7c042d716083c54c4d564d999e57643b&fo_s=gplauk

Thank you @Ophy83

This year I am planning ahead to ensure we don’t end up half asleep on the sofa watching rubbish telly. We will do our usual family quiz, everyone contributes 10 questions, can be hilarious. I will put out a huge jigsaw for everyone to put a few pieces in. We have done tastings, one year bottles of wine from unusual countries, you had to guess country and grape. We have done that with chocolate too, guessing cheapest to most expensive. I will get a silly game- some of the family are serious board game players so nothing too complex. The post lunch walk for us was good but our dog died this year so no focus for this. The year that Christmas Day was on Saturday some of us did park run, which was good fun.

Depending how old and traditional your mum and partner are I would suggest the following that might fill a bit of time.
Cards- my older generation used to love a game of cards sometimes for money small change.
Easy sofa game like 5 second rule or the guess who I am one where you stick a famous person from history on your for head and ask questions.
We bought a pub quiz dvd once which worked well
comedian stand up show on dvd/streamed - we watched Bill Bailey one which was very good.
Music on and playing with the kids new toys and they can sit with a drink and watch/relax.
It is harder without any other younger families to help liven things up we have the same dynamic but now mine are teens so we tend to just all watch a film or play games in the evening.
My in-laws are fun though and easy company.

You can make Christmas slideshows or collages together or plan an indoor photoshoot and dress up and have fun! https://shotkit.com/indoor-christmas-photoshoot-ideas/

Board games and Christmas movie marathon would be great, also you can cook something completely new together.

That’s a party to us! Generally just 3 of us now.