How to spend first Xmas as a family

[Starshollowinside]

My DC will be 6 months old so will have no idea what Xmas is. Not sure how to spend the day, options are:

1. We spend the day at home just us 3, make dinner, watch TV, open presents and just chill with baby.
2. We go to my MIL's. For context MIL is a lovely kind woman whom normally works every single Xmas but is able to get it off this year. This is her first grandchild so feel she would love to spend it with them and she has asked what our plans are.
3. My own mother's, 3 siblings would already be there and is not her first grandchild. But I do love Xmas with my siblings, is always a good laugh.
4. We invite partners dad to our house (he came to us last year).

I'm really torn, have asked partners input and he says he's not fussed (big help!).

Curious what others would choose?

It depends how far you are from the different families. I'm in a similar position as DS will be 9 months. We're going to do visits to both sets of grandparents as we're not far from them, then we're going to enjoy the rest of the day ourselves.

Could you alternate between the grandparents? Maybe go to MIL for Christmas Day and your Mum on Boxing Day. Do the opposite next year?

I agree. Think about what you want your Christmas to be like when your child is older and lay the foundations for that.

Is MIL likely to get to spend any other Christmas with you in the future?
Of the options I would say at home or mil
Or could mil come to you?

With it being your baby's first and not first grandchild at your families side I'd leave that to next year where baby is more aware and can enjoy being with cousins and such.

However I also woild consider how do you want to do this going forward. Dh and I remained at out home invited our parents openly. My dad. And mil/fil came my mother never did.

I’d go to mil or ask her to yours. Wr had to do it just us for Covid and it was nice but not the same as getting to see family for the day

How close do you all live? Is it possible to go to MIL for the morning/brunch and then join your family later in the day (or the other way round depending on meal timings etc?)

It sounds like it would be lovely for your MIL to have Christmas with you but it also sounds really fun to spend time with all your siblings (if they’re still all there on Boxing Day then maybe do that instead). I’d also invite FIL round at some point around Christmas and NYE so he’s not left out. I don’t think it necessarily needs to become a tradition, it’s just what works this year.

It also depends on your baby, one of mine was really portable at 6 months (just needed a boob and would happily nap anywhere), the other one was less easy 😂

We spent our first Xmas at home last year, just three of us with food, TV and music. After Xmas my mum did say she would have wanted all of us together so this Xmas we are spending it with my family. I think you should do whatever you prefer and perhaps it can be mix of things during few days depending on logistics.

If it’s the first Christmas MIL has had off for ages then I would see her, then your family next year.

We always used to see my family on the 25th and DH's on the 26th but would go to the in-laws in the evening of the 25th and stay the night and so actually saw both sets on the day. It worked brilliantly for many, many years.

it's lovely you have a choice of places to go without anyone getting upset. personally I'd go with the mother that is always working as you never know when she will next be able to celebrate with you. I can't imagine working on Xmas day.. anyway, as others have said I'd try and set the foundations for future Christmases, even if that means doing each of those things every year in rotation lol please let us know what you decide

Could MIL and partner's dad be together? I take it they're divorced? Will either be alone otherwise?

Mine was 3mo for his first Xmas. We went to my sister's and saw other relatives there. Sounds like your mils might be the way to go this year though as she's not likely to have it free anytime soon by the sound of it

If you’re close to your MIL and would enjoy the day together then I’d prioritise her this year if she isn’t likely to be off in the next few xmas’. I guess is depends on distance etc and if she’d be staying or visiting for a bit so you could have a chilled morning and see people later on?

Will your siblings still be at your Mum's on Boxing Day? Could you ask to do a second celebration with them the next day and see your MiL on the day? Or invite your MIL to spend the day with your extended family?

MIL's. Definitely. Ask is she prefers to come to you, or you come to her.

Sounds like she needs a good Christmas and it would be a lovely gesture.

Me too.

Our first Christmas as a family was lockdown (tiers?) so we stayed home and it was bliss. No rushing to get anywhere. No pressure if our dinner cooking overran. No judgement of us eating chocolate and crisps all morning or not having bothered to wrap the baby's presents. Baby was 3m old! We enjoyed staying home so much we haven't had Christmas anywhere else since - ILs and my parents come to us now. 👌

I'd stay home but I love our Spent at ours so I'd stay home or have people to visit us. You may want to set the precedent now. It depends what you can see yourself wanting to do longer term but try and forward plan a bit.

This is very good advice! That thought didn't occur to me...

If I'm honest, I already know once DC is old enough to understand Xmas we will be having it in our own home every year (although will rotate GP's coming to us each year). I have very fond memories of Xmas at home as a child, waking up excited to presents, playing with new toys all day then nice lunch and TV in my jammies at night, comfortable in my own home. The one Xmas as a child I remember being a bit meh was the year we all went to a family members instead and I recall being desperate to go home to my own house, so I won't be carting my DC around one they are old enough to understand Xmas.

Mil lives an hour away, my partner doesnt drink so driving wouldn't be an issue. My own mother lives 15 mins away so no issue there either.

There will defo be Xmas she has to work so it does make me inclined to go to hers as we don't know when she will next get one off... I just wasn't sure if we should spend it alone this year with it being our first as a family but I feel I'm definitely leaning more towards going to mil, I think I would feel guilty otherwise!

I’d go to your MIL’s it would be a treat for her. Then next year it would be your mums turn (and MIL unlikely to have off if she doesn’t get it often). Go to your mums Boxing Day or in the evening.

I'd go for MIL this year and then rotate the other family. As a child we went to my grandparents every year to stay with Christmas Day at my aunty's house nearby and then a family party on Boxing Day and it was fabulous, so much fun spending the day with cousins so I'd always vote for spending the day with extended family, I'm so glad my parents went to the effort of taking us. My DCs are older teens now and we've never done Christmas just ourselves apart from lockdown.

Yes they are divorced and wouldn't put them in a room together lol. Fil has a gf that he doesn't live with but reckon he would go to hers if not ours this year, plus he got to spend it with us last year so feel it should be mil turn.

A Christmas with a six month old would be pretty boring- and very like any other day once presents are opened! My DD will be 18 months this Christmas and will still have no clue and probably just be enthralled by the wrapping paper!