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Christmas

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Original poster

How do I make Christmas less lonely for my DC?

55 replies

MakeXmasSpecial · 17/09/2023 20:42

I’m just looking for some advice. For reasons I won’t go into, my DD and I will be very much alone this Christmas, her father is the other side of the world as are the rest of our family so it’s just me and my 2 DD.

This will be out first Christmas alone, normally we’d have a huge family gathering, we’d go all out with the Christmas dinner, games etc. but this year our Christmas will be very small and I just want to make it as special as I possibly can and to ensure my DD doesn’t feel lonely without her family.

Anyone else been in this position, any suggestions of what I can do to make it a nice day for her?

OP posts:
Annaishere · 17/09/2023 20:54

Something nice I remember about some childhood christmases were little things like special plates and cups at dinner. Decorate all lovely and play Christmas music and make a nice atmosphere for you both. I’m sure she will be happy from presents regardless

ElizabethVonArnim · 17/09/2023 20:57

Make it completely different from usual, rather than try to replicate what you would normally do.

pompomdaisy · 17/09/2023 20:59

Go ice skating or book some other fun Christmas activity like a panto. A Christmas with your mum when you are the sole focus of her attention. What could be better?

Torganer · 17/09/2023 21:01

Yes, I agree, make it completely different. I’m a big fan of a Christmas walk/bike ride. We wrap up warm and go along the canal, there’s a pub that’s only open for a few hours and we have a drink there and everyone is so chatty and happy.

Make their favourite foods, something you can all do together, like a pizza or similar. Get some new games, watch some Christmas films. Do things that they think would be fun, maybe a Christmas picnic on the floor.

notawittyname1954 · 17/09/2023 21:02

@Torganer that sounds a lovely time to me

xyz111 · 17/09/2023 21:04

How old are you DD? Speak to them about what they'd like. Normal Xmas food or something else. Decide what to do as a family, what would make them happy. The ideas above are great. Ice skating, panto, Xmas films.

Ragwort · 17/09/2023 21:07

How old are you DDs? I agree with others, make if different, don't try to replicate previous Christmases. We've always had quiet a Christmas - no extended family just the three of us but we always had a good time.

PinkRoses1245 · 17/09/2023 21:24

kindly that’s not alone - you are together and a lot of people have no one. Ask DDs what they’d like to do. Doesn’t have to be typical day

Soscrewed · 17/09/2023 21:25

At Christmas the breaking of the rules was always fun to me. Want to eat the Maltesers in your stocking for breakfast? Sure. Wear PJs all day? Sure

If you can afford it treat yourselves to party food from somewhere nice and have mini cheeseburgers and mini pies. Or a friend used to order a massive Chinese for lunch and they would go back and pick at it all day. Play some games, let them stay up a bit, watch a film. Buy skooshy cream for the top of your hot chocolate. Honestly they will love it (but it may be hard for you being quieter).

Stupendousseptember · 17/09/2023 21:28

Op I assume you usually decorate?

Grotto, things hanging from the ceiling, sparkling, special fairy lights.

Music...

Do you have a budget? Are you able to take her to a show and meal on Xmas eve, lots of places do festive afternoon tea and then book out the day after tomorrow Bocking day.
Illuminated lights walk.

It doesn't have to be lonely.

What's budget and rough location.

CorylusAgain · 17/09/2023 21:30

It's not clear from your post if you have 2 dds or 1 dd aged 2?

FatFilledTrottyPuss · 17/09/2023 21:34

Dd and I had new year on our own a few years ago. We had a fancy roast dinner for 2. set the table with our special cutlery and crystal glasses and went all out decorating the table. Then we built a den in the living room and watched TV and had a dance class. It was the best time ever just the 2 of us. She’s disappointed now if Dh and Ds are home for new year.
You could make it really special for her with you undivided attention all day and no rules. I’m making myself envious 😁

Lagershandy · 17/09/2023 21:34

A lot of chain restaurants do Breakfast with Santa in December, so you could take them on Christmas Eve morning to start two special days of Christmas.

Let your children pick the Christmas lunch menu, (Though what you will end up eating, heaven knows😆)

Original poster
MakeXmasSpecial · 17/09/2023 21:38

Thanks to everyone for your kind and thoughtful responses, it honestly means a lot.

She will be 5 at Christmas and we live on the outskirts of Bristol.

I am very lucky and thankful that we’re comfortable financially so I can afford nice gifts and food for her but I need to be careful not to go overboard to overcompensate.

It’s a good point about trying not to replicate past Christmases but my little girl loves a Christmas dinner so I’m going to put my efforts into making it delicious for her and may suggest we bake some Christmas treats on Christmas Eve and find a nice theatre show.

In all honesty my DD will likely be fine, I can distract her with games, baking and gifts. I just feel sad at how small our life has become but I really had no choice, it was the only way to keep her safe.

Thanks for the lovely responses.

OP posts:
Haveyouseenthemuffinman · 17/09/2023 21:38

i would go and do a picnic on the beach on Christmas Day if I didn’t have other people to think about.

otherwise break the rules and pjs day.

Original poster
MakeXmasSpecial · 17/09/2023 21:40

Loving some of these ideas - we are definitely going to build a den, she would LOVE that!

OP posts:
Goldbar · 17/09/2023 21:41

Personally, depending on your DD's age, I'd book Christmas dinner out in a nice restaurant or pub.

lapsedbookworm · 17/09/2023 21:43

Break up the routine maybe? We had only DS one year as he didn't feel safe to see his dad (rightly so in my view, but it was his decision which I knew he would be struggling with emotionally as his siblings still went)

We let him pick what he wanted to eat and do... it was the best day!

lapsedbookworm · 17/09/2023 21:45

Buying some suprise gifts that are fun things to do together on the day might be a good approach... games, fake snow (we made snowmen in the kitchen!), Christmas crafts...
.

Babygirl888 · 17/09/2023 21:46

Aww yeah, build a little fort or den in front of the tv for christmas films, matching pyjamas and hot water bottles. christmas party plates, decorate the table and plenty of crackers for the 2 of you. Id keep one of the main presents for later on after dinner (assuming she'll open the majority in the morning) and do a treasure hunt later in the evening for the final present. Id probably have a little sleepover in the den that night aswell!

SkaneTos · 17/09/2023 21:48

Sounds like you have a good plan, OP!
I wish you and your family all the best, and a Merry Christmas!

RoseAndRose · 17/09/2023 21:48

Go to church. You don't need to be religious to attend and you can bill it as a special carol service (it won't be that unfamiliar anyhow, if her school has fairly trad assembles).

Depending her attitude to Father Christmas and when he'll arrive, you could go to a Midnight Mass.

Going out for a long walk (we do this on Boxing Day) ideally somewhere windswept and pretty. Alternatively later in the day on Christmas Day to look at the lights somewhere.

mondaytosunday · 17/09/2023 21:49

My husband died suddenly when my kids were 4 and 6. That first Christmas was very hard (he died in October). But since then we have spent every other Christmas on our own. And actually the kids don't mind. There's one Christmas where we travel abroad and there's ten at dinner, and another when it's lower key. But they enjoy it just the same. We go out and pick the tree, I make sure to cook all their favourites, then we play games after. If anything it's sadder for me - after the kids are spent snd go to bed, it's just me and the washing up.
Be present and be joyful.

CorylusAgain · 17/09/2023 21:52

MakeXmasSpecial · 17/09/2023 21:40

Loving some of these ideas - we are definitely going to build a den, she would LOVE that!

There's only me and dd. We used to spend Christmas Day with my parents, including sleeping over on Christmas Eve.
We lost both of them within 10 months of each other so faced a big change the next Christmas. We started the tradition of building Christmas Dens to sleep in on Christmas Eve. Its a really lovely thing to do! Fairy lights, fancy colourful gauze, stocking for Santa, Christmas story books etc. It makes going to sleep on Christmas Eve different from every other night.
I also always made sure her stocking gifts included several simple things to do. Like the magic Christmas trees that grow from water or mini lego sets, sticker books etc so when I needed to get things ready she had things she could do herself .
I'm sure you'll have a lovely time. We do 😊

Original poster
MakeXmasSpecial · 17/09/2023 21:54

Your responses have warmed my heart, I really do appreciate it.

I’m sorry to those on the thread that have felt lonely or lost loved ones which makes it infinitely harder I’d imagine.

In all honestly my DD will likely be fine, it’ll be me that finds it hardest but fake it til I make it as they say and I’ll do whatever I can to make the day special for my little one.

Church is also a very good idea, we have a lovely local church and it would actually be so lovely to be around that kind of joy on Christmas Day.

OP posts: