How to have a different type of Christmas ?

[Skybird90]

Christmas gets more tiresome as the years roll on.

Me and DH are always so busy with work/house/DD/gifts/wrapping/buying/wading through every day life that we can only ever ''throw a tree up in the corner'' (our exact words every year). Teen DD want a tree but can never be bothered to help decorate.

We have both sets of parents over Christmas day. DH cooks Christmas eve and day. We both never want to eat on the day as DH has spent so long cooking it and we have both spent so long smelling the food, that we are no longer hungry. Last year I had nothing to eat before the big meal, but was still not interested in eating what looked like a fab meal DH had prepared. Do people still want the big main meal every year ? or could we do a different meal with less prep/cost/fuss/stress (not takeaway !)

Everyone comes to us as we have teen SEN DDs, so no option to go elsewhere or go out for dinner. Last year we cut back on the evening buffet - basically there hardly was any and the food we had still got left over. Some relatives come over in the eve and have had their main meal separately in the day. Note to self: finger food only in the eves this year, No sandwiches/cheeseboard/anything that requires cutlery.

Lately, I find the day a general bore TBH. Teen DD are in their rooms after the meal, on phones/gaming etc they wont want to be with us oldies downstairs. No-one wants to play any games or go out for a walk.

I don't know what we can do to make it more interesting/different this year.

Teen DD (16 & 17) only ever want for a few things, I like to get them loads of gifts to open, not all expensive but just little things extra to open amongst their main thing(s). Ever year DH says not to as they don't want half of it and it's a waste of money. I don't like giving money.

Anyone else have an alternative Christmas ?

1. Stop inviting your relatives over
2. Go away on holiday
3. If 2 doesn't work for you, stay at home in your PJs and eat pizza

You don't have to do any Christmas stuff, if you don't want to!

For your meal, buy it all in from COOK. It’s really tasty and much less hassle!

Stop inviting people.
Order it all from Sainsbury's or M&S and bung the foil trays in the oven

DH enjoys the cooking and planning, its more that we have smelt the food for the last 24 hours and really don't fancy it when it comes to actually eating it.
It just all seems like a lot of fuss and faff for ONE day, and this gets truer year on year for me. DH wont eat anyone else's food, only his own ( I did consider getting a chef in for the meal)

Maybe listen to your husband on the buying front, if what he is saying is true. Use that money instead to go out to a hotel, or something different.

At that age they want money. Your DH needs to cook ahead and freeze making it less work on the actual day. You need to sit outside so you can't smell it 🤣

Genuinely can't understand why you are buying stuff you know your kids don't want. You might as well just chuck your money directly in the bin and save the hassle.of shopping. Give them the cash if that's what they want.

Above idea of cooking what he can and freezing is a great idea. Then just bung in the oven on the day and no hours of smells before.

Can you get away with not inviting guests?

If so, what do you enjoy eating as a family? Thinking of a banquet from your favourite takeaway, delivered on Christmas Eve then reheated for Christmas Day.

@TheIsleOfTheLost I get them gifts they haven't asked for but things I think they would like. DH says its too much and to cut down as it's not needed or asked for. I like them to have a stack of gifts to open, DH says just get what they have asked for, even if that is not all that much.

I just treat it like a typical Sunday , a relaxing day with a nice roast just for me and young adult sons and some nice snacks. I don't stress about it at all. We all have a nice time. I don't rush around like a headless chicken cleaning or shopping, it's all nice and calm. Zero pressure.

Go out somewhere nice for Christmas dinner

I could have written your original post OP!
We had a conversation just after Christmas last year and we've decided this year will be different.

We're buying Ds the only present he asked for this year and maybe a few stocking fillers/needed items.
We will not be entertaining anyone on Christmas day.

We will buy some nice food that requires minimal effort to cook and clear up after. In the evening if we're hungry we'll eat leftovers from lunch or some ready prepared finger food.
We will play some board games and go for a walk at some point as we never manage to get out of the house on Christmas day.
We're going away after Christmas and into the new year with family. I am determined that this year will be different!

You're doing it all wrong @Skybird90 ! You have to crack open a bottle of something first thing in the morning, then keep drinking throughout the day until everything becomes irrelevant and blurry!!

One thing I did last year rather than buying DC lots of little bits they didn't ask for and probably wouldn't use was buy some presents and donated to the salvation army Christmas toy appeal.

I don't get the "we've been smelling it all day now we don't want to eat it" but Xmas dinner is my most favourite thing so I'm biased

I say just please yourselves this year at least. Get in contact with everyone and say you're not going to host this year, you're burnt out and tired and are doing something low key with just the kids, and then do whatever. If that's going away, fine; if it's staying home and having pizza, equally fine

Very good idea.

For me the easiest way to have a less stressful Christmas is to completely change or lower your expectations of it! There are so many posts about creating magic and sparkle. Every moment has to be exciting. It has to be the best day ever.

It’s just a day with a nice meal. Have a lovely lunch, expect your teens to disappear and start your new book or jigsaw or film or whatever you fancy, and enjoy it in a low-key way

Christmas is so overrated. And the worst part is that most people are convinced that the more you spend the more “magical” it will be. When in reality, people spend really silly money, and often get themselves into debt, just for one single day!!

OP just book a lovely restaurant for Christmas Day, and enjoy and relax, and save a load of money whilst doing it.

@Skybird90 why you don't choose the menu?
If we have anyone over they will have what I cook. Sure I use to make a roast but definitely make my life easier after I cried of stress one year.
Any meat will be sousvide and whack in the oven to finish. No smells, no overcoking, no resting.
Yorkshire puds are made weeks prior and frozen. Same for gravy, roasties, pigs in blankets, cauliflower cheese and red cabbage, even the brown butter honey glaze for the carrots an parsnips.
If anyone complains, ask them to bring whatever is they fancy to be reheated.
Puds can also be done in advance.
Go for that walk meanwhile the rest snoozes in the sofa!

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to eat the food after you have smelt it.

You both need to make changes.

You stop buying un needed presents and he should cook something that takes up less time.

The changes you make don't have to be forever just trial it for this year.

Why does it take 2 days to make lunch? We do it all on the day, about an hour to prep and then 1- 2 hours cooking (we have beef not turkey). Then we eat. No starter - straight to the main event.

Presents from under the tree after lunch then everyone does what they want. Once you have teens the whole day family thing is out the window! Only happens in the movies!

DM did this a few years ago, in lieu of any presents at all for people who had left school. It was marvellous.

Like your DH, I enjoy the cooking and planning.

However last year my DH insisted on change as he said he wanted to actually spend Christmas with me, rather than me being in the kitchen all day, then him being in the kitchen all evening washing up.

So we had Christmas delivered from www.dishpatch.co.uk Literally just opening some packets

Be clear with your DH that he may be loving it but no-one else is. Something has to change so it's not an allday cookathon.

Last year we hired a wing of a National Trust house for a week. Invited do and dil for 4 days.
Made Lebanese lamb for Xmas day, I think a whole salmon for Boxing Day.
Other than a few token presents, pretty much ignored Xmas, just long walks, pub visits, reading books, the odd ga,e of scrabble.
Very very low key, relaxing and enjoyable

Your husband sounds like a martyr and you are wasting money. There is no point I cooking a big roast dinner if neither you or your dh want to eat it. If you insist on inviting the parents round instead of having the day with just your dds then choose a meal that is tasty and simple. Buy your kids what they want and maybe a couple surprises if you insist but at 16/17 they do not need big stacks. And tell guests when you send the invite what will happening that day; Queens speech at 3, dinner at 4, pudding at 5, board games and Christmas movies thereafter.