How to have a different type of Christmas ?

[Skybird90]

Christmas gets more tiresome as the years roll on.

Me and DH are always so busy with work/house/DD/gifts/wrapping/buying/wading through every day life that we can only ever ''throw a tree up in the corner'' (our exact words every year). Teen DD want a tree but can never be bothered to help decorate.

We have both sets of parents over Christmas day. DH cooks Christmas eve and day. We both never want to eat on the day as DH has spent so long cooking it and we have both spent so long smelling the food, that we are no longer hungry. Last year I had nothing to eat before the big meal, but was still not interested in eating what looked like a fab meal DH had prepared. Do people still want the big main meal every year ? or could we do a different meal with less prep/cost/fuss/stress (not takeaway !)

Everyone comes to us as we have teen SEN DDs, so no option to go elsewhere or go out for dinner. Last year we cut back on the evening buffet - basically there hardly was any and the food we had still got left over. Some relatives come over in the eve and have had their main meal separately in the day. Note to self: finger food only in the eves this year, No sandwiches/cheeseboard/anything that requires cutlery.

Lately, I find the day a general bore TBH. Teen DD are in their rooms after the meal, on phones/gaming etc they wont want to be with us oldies downstairs. No-one wants to play any games or go out for a walk.

I don't know what we can do to make it more interesting/different this year.

Teen DD (16 & 17) only ever want for a few things, I like to get them loads of gifts to open, not all expensive but just little things extra to open amongst their main thing(s). Ever year DH says not to as they don't want half of it and it's a waste of money. I don't like giving money.

Anyone else have an alternative Christmas ?

Personally I just wouldn't have the relatives over, but aware there are sometimes reasons why that isn't possible.

I'm not sure I follow why you don't fancy the meal after smelling it, is it that you don't like the food or just a general irritation that your do has spent so much if the day making it? Definitely time for a compromise, what does everyone in the family enjoy eating? Maybe your dp could make a more complex meal for a different festive day if it is something he enjoys doing, or he could make his meal for most people and you have something different that you fancy more?

I would cut down on the gifts if they aren't appreciated.

Is there any part of Christmas that you do enjoy? Or do you have an image of a day that you would enjoy?

Drop or simplify the bits that aren’t bringing you joy (or at least mild satisfaction)

Sell the tree and get a pop up or a small tree that can be put away decorated. Something easy to throw up in the corner.

Instead of wrapping use gift bags and tissue paper. Job done in ten minutes.

Instead of cooking buy it in cooked, and offset the cost by having a smaller amount of food. Or leave dh to it, and go for a nice long walk to work up an appetite and smell some smog fresh air.

Pick out a good movie to watch in the evening, a nice bottle of wine and settle in. If the others want to join you, they will, and other wise they can talk amongst themselves.

Think of fun ways to give the teens money - it’s absolutely the best gift at that age. Maybe something like a puzzle box .

Is it just you or you and DH who isn’t enjoying Christmas?

Your DH sounds like he enjoys the food prep and cooking. I agree with above I don’t get not wanting to eat a meal prepared for you because of the smell unless it’s food you don’t like the smell of.

Buy and wrap presents early, I wrap as I go so no bulk wrapping last minute. I get the wanting big piles of presents as I’m the same but you agree with your DH there is no point in buying for the sake of it. Your DCs sound like they don’t care so your only buying for you not them.

I have everything done by Dec 1st so I’m not stressing and can enjoy December without the stress of fitting everything in throughout the month. I have chronic health problems so having this goal means if I do miss something I can deal with it without the worry of when I’m going to fit it in, it also means if I have a flare I can recover knowing everything is done already.

What time do you eat if your DHs is spending all day cooking and what times the evening buffet? it sounds very drawn out.

Christmas day here is brunch around 11.30-12, pre kids DH and I would scan magazines and cook books for ideas but now it’s kids choice, pancakes with lots of toppings. Christmas dinner is about 6pm so no evening buffet to do as we won’t be hungry later. If anyone comes over they know our routine, I will happy put cheese and crackers out, open some deli meats but there won’t be any big buffet done.

Stop inviting relatives

Stop thinking that Christmas and especially presents have to be like your children are small.

We do a small roast with just roast potatoes and veg, no tons of side dishes but a nice starter and a nice dessert, a fancier Sunday roast if you want. Most of it is just checking every 30 minutes.

DD (16) does a wish list and we take it serious into consideration and add the odd bit, mainly the stocking as it is always normal gifts, not funny things. She hates surprises so it's better to be safe.

If DD wants to spend the afternoon on her phone with her friends than that's ok. We try to get a game in or a movie but we don't stress her.
We skype with the grandparents and DH and I go for a walk if the weather is nice.

Sounds like your time is spent on food an gifts, neither of which your family actually enjoy that much. So change focus to what you DO wantvto do instead. Anything.