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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Who do you buy presents for?

64 replies

catsaregodsindisguise · 29/08/2023 10:42

I'm in my early 30s. I buy Xmas gifts for parents and three siblings (in their 20s). There are no children in the family yet and I don't exchange gifts with aunts/uncles anymore.

But I also have to get gifts for the in-laws too, if I didn't they would get nothing as their son can't be bothered. I use joint account money (although I use my own money for my family) but it's becoming tedious to think of things to buy them now on top of my own family. I'm wondering if I should cut back and tell them no gifts this year (except the standard calendar we always give them). But it seems a bit joyless to do that I suppose.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 02/09/2023 19:55

I buy for dp, 2x dds, dm, dmil, dniece and dnephew (and all the pets).

Obviously your dh should be sharing the mental load and taking responsibility for his side of the family, but couldn't you just have a conversation about it? Agree whether you are buying from individual or joint funds and maybe chat through some basic ideas if he is stuck.

I do generally buy for my dmil, but it is more that I will say "I'm buying X for dm, would your mam like it, and shall I order one for her too?" or "have you got a gift for dmil yet? Do you want me to pick up some smellies when I'm shopping?"

I think if I felt put upon, or like dp saw it as my responsibility I might dig my heels in though!

beautifuldaytosavelives · 03/09/2023 10:44

I can’t understand why you pay for your side and then effectively pay half for his. Either pay for all from the joint account or leave him to his own devices.

Caroparo52 · 17/10/2023 15:25

Buy for 2 dds
Sister
Bil
3 dns
Dogs
Cleaner

Dogs buy me whatever I needed most. Last year it was putting the heating on. This year new water main.

Lovemusic82 · 17/10/2023 19:03

Too many, I try and cut back every year, money is tight this year so I will be cutting back even more.

2 teen dc
mum and step dad
Dad
grandmother
1 niece
1 nephew
4 other family children (my DC’s nieces and nephews)

worked out that I will spend around £110 not including my DC and that’s just spending around £10-£20 on each. My parents don’t really expect much as they know I can’t afford it but I like to get them something nice to open.

Pinkkisugarmouse · 01/11/2023 18:45

Just buying for DH, DD(21), 2 cats and crackers as it sounds probably for DD’s hamster and gerbil. Just some snack bars.

DH is a lot older than me and has a DD older than me. He buys for her.

It certainly makes things much easier. I would hate to be buying for 20+ people.

Ilovelurchers · 01/11/2023 19:20

I buy for: daughter; stepson (from previous relationship - not with his dad any more); daughter's dad (not with him any more - gifts are from her but I pay); my husband; our dog; my mom and dad; my brother and his partner; a cousin I am close to; my three closest female friends; various people I work with to thank them for support etc; my husband's sister and mom.

The gifts for my husband's sister and mom are from me solely, and he buys them separate things. They are a thank you from me for the hosting of me they will do on or around Xmas, and he buys his own gifts for my parents and brother too for the same reason - something simple like a bottle of wine or box of chocs.

I have never purchased presents on behalf of a partner, and I have had some pretty fucking shit partners in my time, I can tell you! If asked I would help them pick, and I do remember my husband took me for a day out in town last year, buying me lunch etc in exchange for my help with his gift shopping! I don't mind that - but no way would I do it for him - and I am known for mothering my men!

DisruptiveCumin · 03/11/2023 11:41

Parents (joint gift + I'm making a smartshow 3d video card)
DC
DP (we usually ask each other if there would be gifts to exchange or we would plan and do something fun together)
1 gift for friends' Secret santa
1 gift for work Secret santa, but it's optional and I'm opting out this year.

Artwhatttt · 03/11/2023 11:49

I was just looking for Xmas pressie for DP. No idea where to post this as just had the shock of my life and done a name change.

He likes a particular artist, I bought him a few prints for our first house. We are finally finishing a renovation of our second and thought might be nice to get him another. The prints are going from between 25000 - 150000 😱

I can’t believe it’s real. It’s been rolled up in a tube and shoved in a box with a full house Reno going on around it. I just took it out it’s 1/1 print and it’s immaculate.

Im in shock!!!!

The other one was framed and no idea where that actually is!!!!

Artwhatttt · 03/11/2023 11:50

So yes if this is real, moral of that story is buy prints 😱

ChimpyChops · 03/11/2023 16:18

My two sons.
Husband.
Ex-husband.
Mum.and her husband.
MIL
SIL and BIL
Nieces and Nephews x 9 (some joint as partners aswell so cinema vouchers for example).
Husband's best friend's children x2.
Auntie and Uncle.
Auntie.

I think that's it.

muddyford · 03/11/2023 16:21

Parents, sister, DH, dogs. Stepchildren and the wife of one of them. Next door neighbours. This year three other friends have been unbelievably supportive so buying for them too.

MegMez · 15/12/2023 16:03

I buy for:
my husband (something he wants & uses like tools and a silly thing from each kid and dog (e.g. chocolate, a fun print for the house, pyjamas)
our 3 children (he also buys stuff for them - he'll get the main presents, I try to do "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read"
my 6 nephews (usually keep it very simple e.g. a book each)
my parents (usually something silly they need like a colander or slippers with either tickets for a show or sometimes a posh bottle of spirits each and a photo in a frame of the dogs or kids)
my grandparents (I am lucky to have one of each side left but they don't need more stuff in their lives so I get them something they need or want with some guidance from my mum or aunt on the best type of socks or favourite biscuits)
a secret santa for one of my siblings or siblings in law - I'm one of 4 and we started doing this last year - it's a budget of £50 so can get something nice, I love how much time it's saved and it's much cheaper.
dogs (our 2, my mum & dad's 1, my siblings' 3) - usually a toy for ours and a snack for the others, it's just for something to unwrap

my mum does stockings for the kids (her decision - I'm not arguing!) and I do them for me and my husband (basics from Asda like: undies, a pack of coffee sachets or tea bags, a diary, toiletries, toothbrush, boozy tins)
my husband usually gets his mum's present but some years I've got it but because I work in theatre so can book the tickets easily, it's always his idea and choice
he used to put money in cards for all his nieces and nephews and never gave anything to his siblings (he's one 7, it's the norm in his family, they don't really do gifts) but that's on him, he'd rather treat his mum. I write Christmas cards for all his family.

My rule this year has been "don't over complicate it" - I am delighted with a book as a gift so I'm happy to give a book as a gift. I avoid giving just "stuff", it has to be a consumable or something that will be used or experienced. I try to buy local and/or independent where I can, especially with art prints and jewellery, or with theatre/gig tickets and restaurant vouchers.

My kids are all in high school now so don't get teacher presents but put a few quality streets in with a Christmas card for e.g. trumpet teacher or gym coach. I can't afford to be spending lots on that sort of thing so it's about the gesture.

It all sounds like quite a lot written down! I keep a spreadsheet(!) so I can keep tabs on who's got what and keep a running tally of the cost.

ThreeRingCircus · 15/12/2023 16:15

I buy for:

Our DDs
DH
My parents
My siblings and their children
My childless aunts and uncles
My friend and her daughter
Our cleaner

DH buys for me, his siblings, his mum and any nieces and nephews on his side of the family. No way am I taking on that work but he's never asked me to to be honest he just gets on with sorting his own side of the family.

All presents come out of joint money other than I pay for DH's gifts out of my own personal money and he does vice versa for my presents.

InTheCludgie · 15/12/2023 16:34

hylian · 29/08/2023 10:52

Don't tell them no gifts, just tell them your DH is in charge this year. You can say it jokingly ('haha I'm not sure how this is going to go but we've agreed DH is going to be in charge this year - good luck!')

It's lighthearted but makes it clear any presents (or lack thereof) aren't your fault. Pass the baton back to him - you never should have had it in the first place.

Agree with this. I'm also wondering why you pay solely for your side of the family's gifts?

As to your original q we buy for:

DS 13, DD 9
My DSis and her partner
My niece
DH's 2 sisters
7 DC of our friends
Box of chocs or biscuits for said friends

So 17 altogether

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