Does anyone actually do the 3/4 gift rule?

[ToddlerMama27]

I just can’t imagine it being exciting to wake up to 3 or 4 gifts 🤷‍♀️

Growing up, we had 1 or 2 gifts for our birthday. Just one gift that we probably really wanted. Christmas we’d get a flipping SACK of gifts from Santa. Empty them all out on parents bed.

But, it has just occurred to me that my sibling and I were both born less than a month after Christmas, so maybe we only got one gift as budget and ideas were exhausted at Christmas 🎅🏻

@JusthereforXmas Your post made me laugh and you’re spot on!

Yes. We have done since the DC were born. I don't get the angst about it all.

Our 3 ds (now teens) have always had one main present (or a couple of cheaper presents if that is what they want), they also get a book and as a family a new board game. Their stockings contain lots of fun and/or practical gifts. They have never complained / asked for more / been disappointed. They are lucky to have lots of generous relatives.

I think Christmas is more about the traditions you develop than the number of gifts.

No, I’ve only heard of this on Mumsnet. Christmas is a time of year I love to spoil my kids and have traditions! They appreciate it all and we have a blast. I don’t see Xmas as a time to “teach them a lesson”

I'd have thought in the 2900s presents would have been replaced with AI?

I used that as a base for stockings (which are from FC) when they were little.

They usually only get 2-3 things from me as well. I don't see the point in buying a load of cheap tat they don't want just so they have a pile to open.

We are lucky to have a big family though who also but presents. So they do get a lot to open overall.

Why do people always assume if a child gets loads of presents it has to be ‘cheap tat” it really annoys me how much these words are constantly thrown around on here.

Please tell me you’re a time traveller 😃

I don't assume it's always cheap tat. I know people who spend £1k+ so definitely not cheap.

That was meant to be in response to a post about being about to get 'loads of lovely bits in home bargains' (or one of those shops) Which is (imo) mostly cheap tat. Of course that's age dependent as well. I could probably quite easily find my 5 year old niece a Peppa Pig/Paw Patrol toy in there. Which wouldn't be tat. She'd love it.

My teens, not so much. I'd be buying stuff for the sake of it.

What 'rule'? No I don't follow a rule when gift giving!

Because it’s a tedious old trope hth 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not really.

Did it help you to write HTH?

Says it all really, hth 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, we just buy what we think they want or need. I’ve noticed My friends who do this actually get tons of presents from family members in addition, so it’s not as minimalist as it sounds!

Litrally no 'poor' person does this... it is inherantly a trait of the rich.

You literally stated you can't even understand what 14 year old could possibly like from a charity shop but are feigning poverty... the only thing worse than middle class virtue signalling is the denile of people who THINK they are hard done by when they aren't.

Four gifts (one of which is a notepad) is not enough to see a kid through the year which means you clearly aren't having to save all year and buy in places like charity shops. You are CHOOSING to impliment a life style (out of ignorance it seems) that is not forced on you, your choice fine but you are insulting us that actually have to live like that in the process or your anger at not being the victim.

Well then in your opinion I am definitely someone who buys cheap tat as I buy loads of Christmas presents from home bargains. In MY opinion I think it’s ridiculous to spend more on something you can get cheaper at shops like home bargains just because HB is cheaper and looked down upon by others.

Jolly good. If they had the stuff DC wanted at a cheaper price I'd buy it there. They don't. So I don't. That's all I was saying.

For eg. DS wanted a specific lego set. It was about £80 which is my budget. I could have gone to HB and bought some off brand lego, he could have had a few sets that way. But he didn't want that. He wouldn't have played with it. So he might have had a bigger pile to open, but nothing he wanted.

Ds1 wanted Samsung ear buds. Not a cheap version and some other 'stuff'. Just the earbuds. So that's what he got.

When they were small and liked puzzles, bath toys, itng, etc i might have bought a few bits in HB rather than Toys R Us because it was the same stuff but cheaper. Although i had even less money then so probably would have only been 3-4 things. As I said, age makes a difference.

So, as I said in my original comment, I (as in me, myself, personally) don't see the point in buying loads of stuff for the sake of it. Just so they have a pile to open.

Couldn't care less what others do.

I'll read the thread in a sec but posting as I came on here to post an "actually sticking to a gift limit" type thread!

I save all year for Christmas presents as I compensate for the fact that my DC don't really have extended family. But last year despite feeling really good about the effort and research I put in and choices I made, our house was absolutely choc full of presents. It wasn't really necessary and I could have halved the amount they got and it still would have been loads.

While I do think 3 - 4 gifts alone might seem a bit sparse especially if you are changing things up and previously DC have received more gifts, I do think it also depends on the quality and/or wow factor of the gift.

This year I'm determined to stick to Want Need Wear Read & Make, along with a generous stocking. My mum will then get them a decent gift too. I'm going to focus more and games and activities this year.

Stockings are what everyone gets excited about in this house, so we all have a stocking with lots of little gifts. For my daughter I generally buy stuff through the year so definitely more than 3-4 presents. She's a crafty kid so it's easy to end up with a lot of nice things by Christmas.

P.S. We are not rich or middle class btw but I am fortunate to have quite low outgoings so can afford to have what I consider a fairly generous budget for the DC.

I've never done great mounds of presents, no. Stocking plus five or six things to open at Christmas, maybe 8 or 10 things for a birthday. Now they are teens, everything seems to cost about £300, so they get even fewer.

I think the "cheap" part is because even though budgets across the country do vary wildly, relatively few people are able or willing to spend big big money per DC at Christmas.

Most people's budgets are (obviously!) finite so the more stuff you get it stands to reason that each individual item is cheaper.

What is more annoying IMO is the assumption that, especially when it comes to children, a cheap present is inherently "tat" or automatically less enjoyable than something more expensive. One of my 3 year old's favourite presents last Christmas, despite getting expensive play sets, was a small Buzz Lightyear space ship with a tiny spaceman inside. It cost like £12 at full price and was bought on clearance. He's literally playing with it right now!

We kind of do. For the kids / teens. I don’t think it’s mean, I think it’s normal to get one main present, which is the something they want?!

Then the things they need, books, clothes etc are extras? And gives them more to open? They get a stocking. That’s full of stuff.

I mean, it’s not set in stone, if someone wanted several cheaper bits we’d get that, so there would be more. But as a general guide I think it works well.

They do get things from grandparents and aunties and uncles.