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Original poster

How do people manage sleeping arrangements?

84 replies

Clouds3898 · 31/12/2022 19:30

This year we travelled to the other side of the country with a toddler and a baby to spend Christmas with my husband's wider family. There were 20 people at his Nan's on Christmas day so we stayed in a rented house nearby. The logistics didn't really work v well - lots of back and forth, managing baby's naps, nowhere to sit, v cramped etc. It was v stressful and then took 10 hours to get back on Tuesday due to a combo of awful traffic and stopping for baby feeds, toddler toilet trips etc

Next year we've decided to stay at home. Because it's my family's year we will invite my parents to stay so they will sleep in our spare room. To keep the peace we thought we'd invite DH's immediate family - mum, sis and bro in law too but there's no space at ours for them to stay. There's local accommodation - premier Inn (15 mins walk away) and Airbnb flats etc v local within a few minutes walk. But then they have to do the crap staying somewhere else thing we've done this year. Is that just what people do at Christmas? Growing up my family all lived nearby so we just went for the day

OP posts:
Original poster
Clouds3898 · 31/12/2022 19:31

I'd love to know what other families do and how they manage!

OP posts:
Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 31/12/2022 19:32

Could you all hire a holiday home/Air bnb so you can be together and comfortable?

RedSauceSpaghetti · 31/12/2022 19:33

We live all over (closest family members are a 2.5hr drive away from each other, furthest are in Germany). We do a Christmas week or so basically where we all do the rounds by hosting/visiting various households on various days. Some years we will miss seeing one or two people due to logistics, but that's just how it goes when you're miles away I think.

CatSeany · 31/12/2022 19:33

We do one child in bed with one adult, and make sure that we have a small double sized bed each at least. Putting the youngest to bed is tricky, because she's only 1 so prone to fall out, so we get her to sleep downstairs and take her up when we go to bed. My 2 year old is fine getting in and out of a double bed so he just goes to bed as normal and we join him later. Our usual arrangement is that we co-sleep with the younger though, which is why a travel cot wouldn't work.

Original poster
Clouds3898 · 31/12/2022 19:37

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 31/12/2022 19:32

Could you all hire a holiday home/Air bnb so you can be together and comfortable?

This is exactly what we're trying to get away from next year. We'd just love a year in our own home for once

OP posts:
Original poster
Clouds3898 · 31/12/2022 19:37

RedSauceSpaghetti · 31/12/2022 19:33

We live all over (closest family members are a 2.5hr drive away from each other, furthest are in Germany). We do a Christmas week or so basically where we all do the rounds by hosting/visiting various households on various days. Some years we will miss seeing one or two people due to logistics, but that's just how it goes when you're miles away I think.

Where do you sleep?

OP posts:
chocolatepudandchocolatesauce · 31/12/2022 19:41

Why do you have to invite his mum etc when it is your family's year? Can't they come another time when the spare bedroom is free?

stridesy · 31/12/2022 19:42

We moved out of Greater London near Great Yarmouth and then my parents moved to Portsmouth to be near my brother. We drove down Boxing Day to Portsmouth and my oh and 13 year old stayed in a travelodge and me and my 6 year old ended up sharing a two seater sofa (despite my parents having a second bedroom unused). My 6 year old is a nightmare in hotel rooms and while we could stay with my brother it’s not ideal due to my son being autistic and them having a dog. On the way back we stopped off for lunch in Surrey with oh brother and family. It’s not ideal but my parents are too old to comfortably stay in a travelodge due to my mums mobility issues and it was tricky enough for her to go to my brothers house. Still it’s a bit of pain once a year. We do need a bigger car boot though.

Heyahun · 31/12/2022 19:47

We go to my mums house one year and stay home the next year or go off on holiday

we only do Christmas with immediate family as in my mum dad, sister, husband, me and the kids

we knocked the massive family gathering thing with granny and all the aunties/uncles on the head years ago

my Auntie has a party the week before Christmas and we all go to that but it’s just one evening and we all go home after

RedSauceSpaghetti · 31/12/2022 19:51

@Clouds3898 usually we sleep in spare room/sofa beds/air beds. But we have at least one room per family unit (there are 6 in ours so it can basically become a bed-room depending on where we stay!). As we are travelling about over a few days, it's usually doable. Like the magic roundabout of family meet-ups!

SoShallINever · 31/12/2022 19:52

Advice from an oldie!
Put your own little family first and make your own traditions.
Let them stay in their own beds.

We have recently started a tradition of getting everyone together for a hotel weekend in early December. We book onto a festive party night and stay over, then go for a nice walk the next day. Works well and is less stressful.

You can always visit wider family at Twixmas or over New year.

Lkydfju · 31/12/2022 19:54

Now we’ve got two children we stay at home and invite people to ours; my parents prefer to stay at a local hotel rather than the chaos that is our home at Christmas and the other option is we see them before or after Christmas

Verbena17 · 31/12/2022 19:55

Clouds3898 · 31/12/2022 19:37

This is exactly what we're trying to get away from next year. We'd just love a year in our own home for once

Show quote history

Just say no.
Do what makes your little family happy.

Instead of inviting your DH’s immediate family on the same day, why not have your parents Xmas eve and Xmas day, then they leave and you have DH’s parents boxing afternoon (do a buffet tea) and the next day or something like that.

Why make it more stressful for yourself?!

We stopped trying to please everyone years ago because we tended to the ones travelling all day Xmas day /Boxing Day to visit people.
Now we spend Xmas away on holiday every year (just us 4) and it’s perfect.

cigarettesNalcohol · 31/12/2022 19:57

Once everyone started having their own families and children we just stopped doing Xmas with the wider families. Including inlaws and grandparents. Maybe it's time to consider doing Xmas just you, husband and children. If there isn't enough space then invite/go. That's our rule.

cigarettesNalcohol · 31/12/2022 19:59

Then don't* invite/go

jtaeapa · 31/12/2022 20:01

Just only invite the people you can comfortably accommodate. See the others the week before or after.

In contrast to you, I puzzle about why people do these mega family get togethers in houses that were designed for 2-4 people. I live in one of these houses btw. Would never consider stuffing it uncomfortably with loads of visitors.

Ponderingwindow · 31/12/2022 20:01

Hotels and don’t feel pressured to spend every waking second visiting.

RitaSueandBobtwo · 31/12/2022 20:04

Couldn’t be doing with sitting on the floor all day or at best at an awkward angle on dining chair, all being squashed up in a tiny uncomfortable sofa bed and all waiting to use one bathroom etc.

We don’t go anywhere at Christmas now since having the kids and its lovely we just spend it on our own just the four of us. We might go and visit sister in law either before Christmas or between Christmas and NY for a short visit and see MIL there now as she has a very large house.

2tired2bewitty · 31/12/2022 20:06

This year there were 14 of us at MILs, including BIL1 and SIL and tiny baby who had flown in from abroad. First time in ages we’ve all been together during xmas (and we’ve added 2 extra kids since the last time, and the existing ones have got bigger)

sleeping arrangements were BIL1 and SIL and baby at MILs, along with all 5 other grandchildren (13-2) squeezed in about the place. Then DH and I and BIL2 and SIL stayed with local friends so we were there for all meals etc, but showered and slept elsewhere which worked really well.

This is not a long term plan though as it’s dependent on some kids still fitting in travel cots so will need to be revisited at some point.

Hbh17 · 31/12/2022 20:10

You have Christmas by yourselves, and don't invite hordes of relatives. If they insist on coming, they have to book a hotel.
Or you go away on holiday for a week and avoid the whole problem!

Dacadactyl · 31/12/2022 20:30

My parents live 5 hours away. My sister lives 2 hours away. In laws live 5 mins away.

We have everyone to us one year and my sister has everyone to hers the next.

My parents stay in a local hotel for 5 days. We give our beds up and my sister, husband and family take our beds. Then we sleep on blow up beds downstairs. Sister and family stay one night. Her children are younger which is why we give up our beds cos we want them to have a comfier sleep.

SnowAndIceLobelia · 31/12/2022 20:35

That sounds like an utter nightmare.

None of our family come for christmas but when I was growing up we used to stay at my Gps house. It would be;

granddad in one single bed
grandmother in one single bed (they did not share their room ever)
my parents in the spare double
me on a pullout sofa in the conservatory
sister on a blow up in the conservtory
aunt and uncle in sitting room on sofa
cousins on blow up beds in sitting room (3 of them)

I hated it.

OnemoresliceofChristmascake · 31/12/2022 21:32

We can do it for one night. We had proper fun and games one year. DD and boyfriend ended up in a tent in the garden (Yes, in December). My DP and I were on the sofas downstairs (I wanted the easiest access to the kettle). My dad was in the single, aunt and uncle in one double and family of 3 in the other.

Everyone was up for it and it was brilliant- but one night only! Following day we all collapsed gratefully back into our own beds.

ivykaty44 · 31/12/2022 21:36

Premium inn and the sooner you book the cheaper it is

i stayed overnight Boxing Day and it was £30 in travel lodge for double room

CirreltheSquirrel · 31/12/2022 21:43

In my family pretty much everyone now stays at the Travelodge (15 mins walk away from my sister's house). It's not ideal but it works ok.