SIL

[swhra]

Ahead of 2 day Xmas gathering which we were hosting (my family joined by my mother, my SIL & MIL) I asked my SIL if she’d mind her and MIL renting a nearby Airbnb so the house was less of a squash (we could fit people in but meant adult children sleeping on floor etc). She was put out and made quite clear she wanted for us all to be under one roof… Was that churlish of her or was I being ungenerous/excluding to suggest they stay somewhere else… a bit precious to think everyone couldn’t squash in for a couple of nights?

I'd say his kids are more his family than his sister and mother but you do you I guess.

You sound really selfish. Completely pushing out your husbands family.
I would be very put out if I was the MIL or SIL.

What was your husband's take on it all?

Did he think it was OK to ask them?

In all honesty, if my MIL and SIL were intending staying in my house, I’d be the one staying at the Airbnb 😂

Tbf, I can see it from both sides. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Next year, talk in advance about your plans, in detail.

It does sting to be the one to be told to go find other accommodation when it is obvious that the host would not even think to ask other family members to do the same. Your SIL is a B list guest and she knows it.

Sorry if I’ve misunderstood this, but you asked them to organise Airbnb two days before Christmas? Surely that’s super costly and hard to find? Also, your family stayed in the house and they had to leave? If I’ve understood right then YADBU. I could have missed things though

I thought the length of the stay was 2 days. Op says the sleeping arrangements were discussed in November?

I'm interested to know what did happen in the end? Did they find an air BnB? It's not clear.

Im with you, I hate having family to stay, it's an invasion of space and I certainly wouldn't be asking grown children to sleep on the floor when most likely SIl and MIL I presume can afford seperate accommodation, if not they are 40 mins away not that far. We had family up for Xmas they stayed in a cottage nearby (as we are like 4.5 hrs away), just meant we could chill for a little in the evenings as it's intense hosting for a few days. Family were up from the Thurs and went home weds so 6 days, long time, think the know I'm not a fan of people staying in our house, we have space as we have a spare bedroom but I would not be offering for people to stay on the floor so it was better for hubby's family to stay in cottage. What a nightmare, I get cabin fever after 2 days even when they're not staying here, I spent 3 solid days in the kitchen cooking and hosting this year, put the works on, I've said I'm not doing it again as I want to spend time with my own kids enjoying their pressies and have a break at Xmas when I work all year. Next Yr we might go out or even do Xmas eve meal. I always remember my mom said that she hated Xmas as they would be the ones trailing around to family staying on people's floors/spare beds/blow up beds as our family lived miles away so we always travelled to them and she said we were always compromising. As a kid I loved staying with family with the excitement of Xmas but now completely understand how she felt.