Too many gifts from Grandparents

[Stressedoutsaz]

Every year my MIL buys an over the top number of gifts for 2 DDs. Literally boxes full...it includes useful things like clothes (but also pants and socks which are useful but I usually put in stockings) and books (lots) but then lots of things that never really get used/ looked at eg colouring/activity books and annuals (DD prefer to just draw own pics) and lots of sort of stocking filler type 'tat' I would call it. I feel like she is trying to buy all their gifts as if she was the parent.

They get plenty of gifts from others as I have 4 siblings who all gift and they get gifts from some family friends as well.

I feel like it's starting to ruin Xmas as the shear number of gifts she gives takes away from other gifts they are given as lots of things get put aside and not appreciated just because they have so much to open and she has often bought things that others have gifted like pjs. It also starts to take away from small gifts that I've given as stocking fillers as she has also purchased the same/similar items.so I've started only really buying a main present each which has taken away some of my enjoyment.

I want my children to appreciate also that Xmas isn't all about gifts!

I've mentioned it to DH every year and he always says there is too much to her but she sort of laughs it off as 'you know what I'm like I just like buying for them (they are and will be her only grandchildren).

I don't want her to think we are ungrateful but I want my children to appreciate presents more and want to suggest to her she only gets a couple of meaningful presents rather than boxes full of unappreciated stuff. I tried last year saying to get zoo membership instead which she did but then also got all the other stuff as well.

So how do I politely ask her not to buy so much without offending her? She is visiting over New Year and I don't know whether to discuss face to face or maybe write a letter explaining how I feel? Our relationship is civil but I wouldn't say we are close and I don't want it to be made worse! Any suggestions how to approach would be appreciated!

I have this issue and I had the conversation and they refused to listen. So now, I take the presents ahead of Xmas (we don’t see them on the day) my husband and I open them, keep a couple that they will like, and gift the others (piles and piles of them) to the food bank.

No, don't make it a long list - the MIL sill undoubtedly buy everything on it.
Just give her one shortish list, then have a separate list for anyone else who needs guidance on which presents to buy

The laugh it off - my mother used to laugh things off and it really pissed me off. She'd buy the gift id tell her I was going out next week to get and when I spoke up she'd say oh well - so fucking dismissive. Stopped telling her afterwards and she's continually ask and I'd say I don't know yet.
rude fucking woman

@lollipoprainbow you can still know you are lucky but also not want your children to grow up with tonnes of unnecessary stuff that they don't even want and become spoiled. Honestly I know how lucky my children are but that doesn't mean that I will let them become spoilt brats and not only that, Christmas for us isn't even about the gifts it's about spending time with family.

If I was in your position and my children didn't have much I would be happy that others were teaching their children that it isn't all about receiving tonnes of toys that they don't need.

Op do your DC have any savings accounts?
Eg juniors stocks and shares ISA or cash ISA? Premium bonds even...

If not perhaps say what a wonderful gift to the DC to pare down the gift's and instead help them get some savings going?

Agree with @ZeViteVitchofCwismas it's amazing how many thousands will build up by the time your children are grown up. Sell it that way to her. Older friends children have been suitably stunned when they got a lump sum from Grandma at 19 when they needed it...

Well we can't spend time with family either so.

Not yours to give away but guess you enjoy the praise and attention at the food bank.

Oh yes i lap it up. It’s my favourite day of the year.

@Stressedoutsaz did you manage to have a word and sort the issue out? I’m asking because I have the exact same issue.

my husband’s stepmom buys a ridiculous amount. 18 presents at Christmas after I told her just the one please. Half the clothes are completely the wrong size (several years out). My husband had a word and said just one present going forward please because otherwise it is overwhelming and she doesn’t appreciate the value of a present. Step mum turned up with 13 presents for Easter! Just fed up with it.

its very odd because she didn’t even bother to come and visit my daughter until she was 7 months old so it’s not like she’s that interested in her