Listening to DH wrapping my presents and I think he’s got me a live lobster

[WhenisitmyturntobePM]

It’s the only explanation. So far I’ve heard:

What the bugger….?
Breathe, just breathe…
1….. 2….. 3….. 4
Right I’m not wrapping it. I’m just not.
Arrrrrggggghhhhh

And the best…. ‘Fuckinora!’

I’ve offered to help but it didn’t go down well.

For context, we usually get each other about 3 presents and he’s been wrapping for an hour.

Don’t you like him? 🤣

I heard “sh*t” after some stomping around and then;

”are there any gift bags?”

followed by

“well that’s not big enough”

two presents! That’s all. Two presents!

they havenot even made it under the tree- they are still abandoned on the hall table.

No it’s early doors for us, if he’s recovered by then. I will report as soon as it’s polite 🙂

I like the 'fuckinora' :-). Don't joke about live lobsters, I know somebody who has a pet one, a video of it was put on facebook and seemed as though it was looking and gesticulating at me through the glass tank. Seriously creepy.

I'd of been in stitches laughing at him 😂 🤣

Placemarking! Can't wait to find out!

I'd imagine it was a bastardisation of 'bloody Nora'. Fucking Nora!

My snake doesn’t have a gift tag 😱! I bought hundreds of the feckin things! Maybe the snake ate it! Clearly writing Merry Christmas pushed him over the edge! The Star Wars plasters are out so something clearly bit him or went wrong somehow! Might just write my own 🤦‍♀️

Here for the reveal 😁😁😁😁

Deffo Nora!

Fuckinora is an excellently creative swear.

Are you in Birmingham OP? This is quite common round here and has been for at least 50 years!!! Poor Nora!

I really want it to be a lobster so we get Part 2: DH is attempting to cook a lobster.

This is absolutely the best Christmas thread this year!!

We have a sack each with our initial on and the parcels go in there unwrapped unless the box gives away the contents

Just here for the big reveal, obvs.

Disappointed that all gifts in our house are pretty regular shaped.

@PolkaDotMankini I’m now imagining the OPs husband:

I thought you were going to day blood, not tinsel!!

That’s bonkers! I mean the injury, but actually all of it really 🤣

To be fair to your DP, I wouldn’t put a gift tag on a snake either. Especially one that is clearly tetchy tonight.

We used to be West Midlands and we’re now Yorkshire. Common in both places apparently.

I always thought it was Fucking Nora but then I thought no, that’s batshit, must be fuckinora. Lesson of the day, trust your instincts 🤣

Or Part 2: Dog goes to vets after playing with lobster.

😂😂😂 please come back and tell us what he was wrapping!

😂

OP, thank you for one of the best posts I have read this year!
anxiously awaiting part 2 tomorrow - The Lobster Strikes Back?

I was imagining the chef scene from The Little Mermaid, but that works better!

This is perfect 🤩 I hadn’t considered it could be a lobster family. How sweet.