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Original poster

No Christmas dinner

252 replies

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 08:44

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

OP posts:
Roundandnour · 23/12/2022 09:52

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 09:26

My family. They think I should have a traditional dinner

Show quote history

They can cook it then and you sit and watch the dc’s like they do every year.

SuperfastJellyfish · 23/12/2022 09:55

Who cares?! It's not a law to have a roast dinner for Xmas!

I am not doing a roast either as neither of my kids like it so i can't be assed slaving away making one.

We are just having a buffet of easy stuff that we like.

Screw what anyone else thinks, it's no-one else's business!

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 23/12/2022 09:55

My husband does all the cooking, he's amazing at it, maybe too late to find a husband who can cook christmas eve eve. He doesn't miss out on anything, its only like making a Sunday roast so I don't really understand the missing out opening presents? Are you cooking at 7am? We usually have lamb done in a slow cooker then usual veg, pigs in blankets etc etc. He does fry bacon with the sprouts that's about the only real extra thing. I disagree christmas dinner isn't for kids, kids need to learn to join in and be able to behave at a table, I'm not from 1952 but my kids (3 under 6) can all join in a family meal at the table. We do it every Sunday too though so it isn't a foreign concept to them. Christmas wouldn't be christmas without an actual christmas dinner.

WaddleAway · 23/12/2022 09:58

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 23/12/2022 09:55

My husband does all the cooking, he's amazing at it, maybe too late to find a husband who can cook christmas eve eve. He doesn't miss out on anything, its only like making a Sunday roast so I don't really understand the missing out opening presents? Are you cooking at 7am? We usually have lamb done in a slow cooker then usual veg, pigs in blankets etc etc. He does fry bacon with the sprouts that's about the only real extra thing. I disagree christmas dinner isn't for kids, kids need to learn to join in and be able to behave at a table, I'm not from 1952 but my kids (3 under 6) can all join in a family meal at the table. We do it every Sunday too though so it isn't a foreign concept to them. Christmas wouldn't be christmas without an actual christmas dinner.

Our past 15 Christmas’ have managed to still be Christmas without us once having a roast! Our children still sit at the table and eat with us, just not a roast that none of us are particularly bothered about. There are many foods we prefer to roast meat and veg!

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 23/12/2022 09:59

@GrumpyPanda

That sounds nice. How long do you keep the candles alit?

PanettoneToast · 23/12/2022 09:59

To me it's not about what food is served but the sitting round the table part of it. Having fun, teasing each other, pulling the crackers. That's what children remember.

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 23/12/2022 10:00

Well I love Christmas dinner so I would probably just buy ready made everything and bung it in the oven personally but your way sounds absolutely fine too. (Also pigs in blankets are the best bit anyway). Much better to spend time together than be stuck slaving in the kitchen.

Sluttypants · 23/12/2022 10:01

You don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you want to do. Your family is the only concern.

SnowAndFrostOutside · 23/12/2022 10:01

The only 'christmas dinner' the children get is the one from school. A couple of days ago, DC11 asked what we will be having for christmas lunch. I told her yule log and she was delighted. She didn't care about the food, just the cake. I am making mocktails and yule logs and we'll be having pasta for lunch on christmas day.

SuperfastJellyfish · 23/12/2022 10:02

UWhatNow · 23/12/2022 09:52

YANBU for the reasons you’ve stated and yes, do anything to get by on Christmas Day. But I think YABU to deprive your children the experience of a traditional dinner which is kind of goes with the whole thing, like it or not. Dc might ‘prefer pizza’ but when they realise that everyone else has roasts and have silly jokes at school about hating sprouts they’ll feel like they were different. But you could do that boxing day or Christmas Eve or another day instead. It doesn’t have to be on the day itself.

Oh give it a rest! 'Depriving her kids' of Xmas dinner and feeling left out!

That's the biggest pile of bullshit. What a way to make someone feel guilty for no reason whatsoever!!!

My kids hate roast dinners! We have our favourite foods and still have Xmas crackers and a festive day. They certainly aren't 'deprived' 🙄

SnowAndFrostOutside · 23/12/2022 10:02

And yes, we'll have pigs in blankets too. The kids will be wrapping the bacon around the sausages. But I'm not going to slave in the kitchen to make a big meal.

Roundandnour · 23/12/2022 10:02

UWhatNow · 23/12/2022 09:52

YANBU for the reasons you’ve stated and yes, do anything to get by on Christmas Day. But I think YABU to deprive your children the experience of a traditional dinner which is kind of goes with the whole thing, like it or not. Dc might ‘prefer pizza’ but when they realise that everyone else has roasts and have silly jokes at school about hating sprouts they’ll feel like they were different. But you could do that boxing day or Christmas Eve or another day instead. It doesn’t have to be on the day itself.

Some kids will only ever have a roast in school because of a multitude of reasons.

Any child that makes another child feel shit about it words need to be had and reminded families are different.

Mine were still in primary when I stopped doing a traditional Christmas dinner. Instead it was buffet style, out to a restaurant for an Indian or a take away. The feelings towards brussel sprouts could be talked about regardless of it they appeared over the holiday or not.

HappinesDependsOnYou · 23/12/2022 10:02

There is no law that you have to have a roast on Xmas. I reckon the turkey idea came from thanks giving. Do your own traditions, cook the food you want and most importantly have a great day! Food sounds fab by the way

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 10:04

OP, you are FINE. I dont know why we all have to eat a turkey dinner- turkey isnt even that nice, it takes forever to cook and its dry AF. Noone ever buys turkey to eat the rest of the year because chicken is nicer. We arent having turkey either, we are having what we want to eat. Turkey isnt mandatory- set yourself free, its highly liberating!

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 10:05

BTW, I dont think any child will be teasing yours because they didnt eat sprouts, your kids will be grateful 😄

Happycow · 23/12/2022 10:06

This is perfect! Im doing main meal xmas eve this yr for the first time. Not sure why anyone wants to spend so long in the kitchen on christmas day especially with young children.

And your way, with food everyone loves , sounds lovely!

AnIdiotSandwich · 23/12/2022 10:08

Sounds like a perfect Christmas day to me, I'm sure your kids will love it!

Enjoy x

CoffeandTiaMaria · 23/12/2022 10:08

For the first time in 46 years I am not cooking a sodding turkey 😃
We’re having porchetta with all the trimmings and trifle for pudding if either of us have any room.
If either of the DCs were coming it would be largely vegetarian.
I really think if someone kicks off about no turkey then they can do all the cooking themselves!

Hohoholdthesherry · 23/12/2022 10:09

Sounds lovely, @thelifeoofme ! I'd have loved that as a kid, heck I'd love it now as an adult.

The only thing that ever cast a cloud over my childhood Christmas's was the cook getting stressed in the kitchen.

Fundays12 · 23/12/2022 10:10

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 23/12/2022 09:55

My husband does all the cooking, he's amazing at it, maybe too late to find a husband who can cook christmas eve eve. He doesn't miss out on anything, its only like making a Sunday roast so I don't really understand the missing out opening presents? Are you cooking at 7am? We usually have lamb done in a slow cooker then usual veg, pigs in blankets etc etc. He does fry bacon with the sprouts that's about the only real extra thing. I disagree christmas dinner isn't for kids, kids need to learn to join in and be able to behave at a table, I'm not from 1952 but my kids (3 under 6) can all join in a family meal at the table. We do it every Sunday too though so it isn't a foreign concept to them. Christmas wouldn't be christmas without an actual christmas dinner.

I guess it depends on your view. I don’t enjoy a big Christmas dinner nor do the kids. Dh does so he gets his bung in the oven stuff. We sit down as a family 6 nights a week to eat together with our 3 kids (10,6 and 3) so one day of not having a proper sit down dinner is a treat to them.

pointythings · 23/12/2022 10:11

We're not doing traditional big roast either this year. Everyone is making something so there'll be spicy Korean chicken, pigs in blankets, Yorkshires and roasties, veg and a lot of baked goods and people can just help themselves.

Yogity · 23/12/2022 10:11

That sounds lovely OP. The DC really won't miss it and you will get your family time back.
I have no real recollection of Christmas dinners as a child before we were all old enough to muck in and help with the prep/cooking. DM cooked our turkey overnight to save time. There are no rules 😊

CPL593H · 23/12/2022 10:11

The full roast dinner isn't the law or one of the 10 Commandments. Do what suits you, enjoy your day, enjoy your kids and ignore the Turkey Stasi! Xmas Grin

FourChimneys · 23/12/2022 10:12

My DC who are early & mid 20s still have fond memories of the year we had spaghetti hoops on toast. It was quick, easy, and I knew they would eat it.

BrioLover · 23/12/2022 10:13

Just do whatever you want OP.

My husband is French so we have a Christmas Eve party with family presents in the evening. Party food is dinner! All laid out on the kitchen counter, with little plates and napkins and we graze through the evening. It's lovely.

Children's faves here are mini pizzas, the Christmas tree chicken shapes from Aldi, veg sticks and hummus. DH and I have proper canapés and smoked salmon and prawns.