Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

No Christmas dinner

252 replies

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 08:44

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

OP posts:
Itschristmastimeinthecity · 23/12/2022 09:32

You are not a bad mum for not wanting to do a full on Christmas dinner. Your children will still be fed and happy! have a lovely Christmas x

Loki01 · 23/12/2022 09:33

We have a large breakfast (well not too large but we dont really eat breakfast otherwise so its large to us) and do Xmas dinner for evening. We eat around 5pm. That way there is no rush!

GrumpyPanda · 23/12/2022 09:34

Flapjack637 · 23/12/2022 08:48

The kids won’t be deprived! It sounds lovely and they’ll remember spending time with you and playing.
Plenty of time for Christmas dinners when they are teenagers and don’t want to leave their rooms.
You could always do the dinner another day, Christmas Eve like the Germans do I think, or Boxing Day? But only if you really want one.
Sounds like a lovely Christmas Day

German here. Erm no, Christmas dinner here is on Christmas day. Christmas eve is presents and carols - always after dusk, kids are shooed out of the living room while presents are laid out and tree lit for the first time (live candles, no other light in room). Christmas eve food traditionally is potato salad, sausage and lamb's lettuce.

What it means is things are de-stressed - all the excitement is separate from dinner, so Christmas day is much more relaxed and leisurely and dinner is much more like an ordinary Sunday meal.

Stag82 · 23/12/2022 09:35

I say do what works for you. I have friends that do all sorts… of my DCs were at their dads we use to have curry Xmas day then roast Boxing Day )kids request). Tbh tho it’s just a regular roast in my house with some added trays of pigs in blankets and stuffing but literally just slide them in the oven

BeautifulWar · 23/12/2022 09:35

It's just a roast, I don't get why people make such a big deal out of it. I always have it ready for 3pm so presents are already done.

Having said that, people should just do what they want and if you don't want to cook a roast, that's fine! You certainly don't deserve abuse over it and your kids will enjoy Christmas whatever is served for dinner.

Zonder · 23/12/2022 09:35

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 09:26

My family. They think I should have a traditional dinner

Show quote history

By your family I'm guessing you don't mean your DH and DC, ie the people actually involved! So the others can butt out. In fact no need to even tell them what you're doing.

mondaytosunday · 23/12/2022 09:36

There's no law - do whatever you like.
But I don't see why you miss out. It's not like you have to be a slave to the meal - if you want to do it but if it's too much to produce by lunch, then have it for supper.
Christmas dinner is my favourite meal of the year. Especially when cooked by my mother. She died 8 years ago and she hadn't cooked Christmas dinner for years before then. But it's her dinner I remember when I think of Christmas.
Your family will have your own memories!

JauntyJinty · 23/12/2022 09:36

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 09:26

My family. They think I should have a traditional dinner

Show quote history

Is this family that's actually attending or just sticking their oar in?

If they're attending I'd say they're welcome to sort and cook everything - if they're not coming, or if they're not willing to take on the responsibility they can fuck all the way off until the new year, then when they come back they can fuck off again!

reallyhatewinter · 23/12/2022 09:39

We're doing Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve this year so we have more time on Xmas day with the kids. Nice breakfast and buffet in the afternoon for Xmas day and of course my body weight in chocolate!

Beamur · 23/12/2022 09:39

My family would prefer your Christmas food OP. I. have to dig my heels in to get a roast as no one else is that keen!

MajorCarolDanvers · 23/12/2022 09:41

I cook on Xmas eve and so don't spend Xmas day in the kitchen.

Your house do what you want.

Fundays12 · 23/12/2022 09:42

I do a nice polar breakfast with things like croissants, chocolate brioche rolls etc on Christ day. We also did it this morning. On Christmas Day dh loves a Christmas dinner but nobody else is that keen (family of 5) so I buy Christmas dinner for him from the pre made bung in the oven type stuff and cook a nice gammon in the slow cooker the day before. DH puts his own dinner in the oven. I normally have my favourite Christmas dinner bits like the gammon and the kids have picky stuff like pizzas, or made sausage rolls etc. one of them likes gammon and York shire puds so has some of that. It takes virtually no preparation and everyone is happy. I used to hate Christmas dinner as a kid as it always felt like I had to sit still for ages and my mum spent hours in the kitchen so don’t do it.

There is nothing wrong with it and in my view and it’s certainly creates better memories than a mum who is stuck in the kitchen all day, stressed out and exhausted from running around after everyone else. Do what makes you happy.

Ragwort · 23/12/2022 09:42

What is the context of your family calling you 'mean' ... are they visiting you & in which case they could cook ... if they are not visiting you then why on earth do they have an opinion? I don't think I've ever asked anyone what they eat for Christmas dinner.

I am probably just as mean a mum in a different way, my DS is grown up now but I can remember the utter tediousness of 'playing' with new toys or naff board games (ie: Mousetrap) or sitting through child friendly films ... I would much rather be in the kitchen with a glass of something, carols in the background and quietly getting on with the cooking Grin.

PearlclutchersInc · 23/12/2022 09:42

Outtasteamandluck · 23/12/2022 09:05

'Picky bits' 😂

Mumsnet top 10 of most hated phrases

Absolutely!

Moonpies · 23/12/2022 09:43

Why do you care what your family has to say about your Christmas day food? I would just laugh them off.

WaddleAway · 23/12/2022 09:43

By ‘Christmas dinner’ do you mean a roast? We rarely have a roast on Christmas Day, but we still have ‘Christmas dinner’ by virtue of the fact that we have dinner on Christmas Day. We’ve had various things over the years, we like to pick a cuisine from a particular country. It’s Spanish this year.
Cook whatever you want, and what your family will enjoy. No one has been harmed by not having a roast dinner on Christmas Day.

RosesAndHellebores · 23/12/2022 09:46

Somewhere in a recipe book I have this. No time to make a traditional turkey dinner.

Buy two turkey steaks and cut into even sized pieces. Thread onto skewers alternating with pigs and small stuffing balls. 25 minutes in the oven. Serve with bought roasties, Carrots and sprouts, and a tub of bought turkey gravy. Add other accompaniments as desired.

All the tastes of Christmas, none of the hassle.

NewToWoo · 23/12/2022 09:47

The best present you can give a child on Christmas Day is an attentive, unstressed parent. YANBU. Eat what you like. When they are adults you can all sit around a roast dinner they helped to prep.

washingmachineheart · 23/12/2022 09:49

Sounds like a great Christmas dinner and one I’m sure your DC will love.

Other family will likely forget about the non-traditional meal shortly after Christmas but memories of missing out on Christmas morning with DC while you’re cooking a roast have stayed with you, so don’t prioritise their gripes over what you know is a sticking point for you.

violetcuriosity · 23/12/2022 09:50

Not at all, we don't have Christmas dinner until the 27th for this reason. Christmas Day is a buffet at lunch and then a curry that gets made this week and frozen with the quiz at about 9pm 🤣 Boxing Day is a buffet after the football and then the big dinner the day after. It spreads it all out nicely x

EL8888 · 23/12/2022 09:50

Sounds like a great plan to me! Your children = your rules. Ignore your families negativity

theblackradiator · 23/12/2022 09:51

I have a couple of friends who do this for the exact same reason and I don't blame you or them to be honest, Christmas Dinner is a huge faff and all those pots if you don't have a dish washer aswell. kids much prefer finger buffet type foods anyway. I'd do exactly the same if it wasn't for my old fashioned traditional mother saying it's not Christmas day without a turkey dinner. I never even enjoy my dinner on Christmas day to be honest as I always find I'm to stressed and not relaxed enough to enjoy it so I'd much rather have it on a different day like boxing day which is a much more relaxed day.

Crustyjuggler92 · 23/12/2022 09:51

Me and my brother were always asked to 'just wait a second whilst I put the stuffing/potatoes/veg on' and my brother questioned why we can't just have our favourite easy foods on Christmas day. My parents haven't had Christmas dinner on Christmas day since and we are now 30/33.

lovescats3 · 23/12/2022 09:51

Do what suits you the children don't stay little for long

UWhatNow · 23/12/2022 09:52

YANBU for the reasons you’ve stated and yes, do anything to get by on Christmas Day. But I think YABU to deprive your children the experience of a traditional dinner which is kind of goes with the whole thing, like it or not. Dc might ‘prefer pizza’ but when they realise that everyone else has roasts and have silly jokes at school about hating sprouts they’ll feel like they were different. But you could do that boxing day or Christmas Eve or another day instead. It doesn’t have to be on the day itself.