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Original poster

Christmas rantathon…..

44 replies

WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 14:49

This is lighthearted with an edge of thinly veiled fury, mainly at my dear mother.
I’m breathing deeply and looking forward to a massive gin later.

We travelled from afar for Christmas and arrived yesterday after a long sea and road journey. We are very lucky to have a small second home in my home town - very grateful etc etc. Brought all the presents, already wrapped, i’m very organised, have bought lots of lovely (I hope) things. I’m also catering Christmas for my family, so have all of that to see to as well, as my dm is entirely incapable of coping with cooking (she is not ill or physically unable, she just expects everyone to do things for her) and has been like this for a long time.

Asked my dm to have some things organised for us arriving - some gifts I’d sent straight to her to be wrapped, getting a couple of groceries in for our late arrival, making a Christmas cake, organising a taxi for herself for Christmas Day so I don’t end up not drinking so I can drive her home again like I did last year.

She has done the sum total of nothing. Nada. Says she hasn’t had time!!!!! She is retired and does nothing all day. Whereas I hold down a job, look after a family and have travelled hundreds of miles to have to decorate yet another sodding Christmas tree, and yet I’ve managed to get everything done.

The gifts (which were birthday presents for another relative so needed pre Christmas) were not done, no cake, nothing in for us.
She then tells me that she was unable to get me the Christmas gift I had asked for (pyjamas) as she couldn’t find anything nice in my size (8/10), apparently M&S had NO pyjamas in my size, which is extremely difficult to believe. So I’m just getting money - which frankly I don’t need. It’s just so thoughtless

I feel let down. It’s not as though I’m the black sheep, I’m an only child and we have a generally good relationship, she’s just lazy and useless and it’s driving me to the point of real anger which I don’t want to happen as I’m trying to make it a nice Christmas.

To top things all off, there were zero fresh turkeys in the supermarket today, only turkey crowns, so at this point in time I don’t quite have a turkey. I’d happily wring ones neck right now! The hunt continues…..

So, anyone else with tales of Christmas family annoyance to make me feel better?

OP posts:
thinkponk48 · 21/12/2022 14:52

But surely a magic fairy will organise it all. Apparently all my family believe magic fairies sort things out.

Seriously though. I know how you feel. Small acts of thoughtlessness really add up

Dogsgottabone · 21/12/2022 15:35

OP i don't think the fresh birds are in the shops till tomorrow...

I am so sorry for your troubles. You must be exhausted.

Christmas sucks.

Original poster
WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 16:45

thinkponk48 · 21/12/2022 14:52

But surely a magic fairy will organise it all. Apparently all my family believe magic fairies sort things out.

Seriously though. I know how you feel. Small acts of thoughtlessness really add up

You’ve hit the nail on the head….small acts of thoughtlessness. That is exactly it.

All the while I’m running around like a headless chicken trying to keep everyone happy and keep things running smoothly.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 16:48

Dogsgottabone · 21/12/2022 15:35

OP i don't think the fresh birds are in the shops till tomorrow...

I am so sorry for your troubles. You must be exhausted.

Christmas sucks.

At this point I think I’m so exhausted that I’m hyper!

That’s reassuring that there should be turkeys tomorrow - the supermarket staff were clueless and said they thought that was all they were getting, just crowns plenty of those. Wishing I’d ordered from a butcher in advance, but hey ho. Might try some other stores tonight as we have to go in a 3 hour round trip tomorrow to see the in laws and the rest of the time is busy, so was hoping to get the food shop ticked off today.
So more travel tomorrow, and more forced jollity.

OP posts:
Dogsgottabone · 21/12/2022 16:57

OP sorry, I checked and aldi got them on the 19th...

Maybe find a Marks and Spencer, they always have too many.

11plusdoneanddusted · 21/12/2022 17:26

Waitrose had loads of turkeys today - all around £100!!

Bigheartsshapelittleminds · 21/12/2022 17:41

I sympathise with you about the comments about being too busy when retired. My grandparents and now my dad both use this excuse. "I haven't had the time". "I've been too busy" etc. You're retired!!! I'll only ask them to make a phone call, or pick something up from the shop which will take 5 minutes but apparently they are SO busy. Drives me mad!

Lysianthus · 21/12/2022 18:03

MAKE SURE SHE HAS BOOKED A TAXI! you will be drinking from noon, n'est ce pas? Wine

FourChimneys · 21/12/2022 18:12

Make sure this is the last year you do this. Have a radical change of plan from next year and keep to it.

My view has always been that if anyone over primary school age wants Christmas to happen they have to contribute to the effort. Adults who can't sort it out can easily be left to go without, it's a good learning curve for them.

Travelling all that way, you have my sympathies.

mbosnz · 21/12/2022 18:54

Make sure you tell her that if she doesn't book a taxi she'll be kipping on the sofa, you're not going teetotal after she's pulled this shit. And you won't be making the sofa up, she'll have to wait until everyone's done to be able to bed down, and then she'll have to be up at the same time as the first person is up the next morning. . . I find it motivates them, somewhat.

Unless it's boiled in stone brought by Moses from on the Mount, forget about the cake.

Hbh17 · 21/12/2022 18:56

Next Christmas, stay at home. Or go on holiday somewhere lovely. You do NOT have to do this ever again!

Original poster
WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 18:57

11plusdoneanddusted · 21/12/2022 17:26

Waitrose had loads of turkeys today - all around £100!!

£100?? Good grief! We’ll be having a chicken if that’s the case.

OP posts:
Original poster
WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 19:01

Bigheartsshapelittleminds · 21/12/2022 17:41

I sympathise with you about the comments about being too busy when retired. My grandparents and now my dad both use this excuse. "I haven't had the time". "I've been too busy" etc. You're retired!!! I'll only ask them to make a phone call, or pick something up from the shop which will take 5 minutes but apparently they are SO busy. Drives me mad!

I know! What are they actually doing? In my mum’s case, she seems to find the time to read lots of books and drink coffee, and the rest of the time is spent procrastinating about things she should be doing but doesn’t. Infuriating!

OP posts:
MontyK · 21/12/2022 19:02

Christmas honestly brings out the worst in people. My own mother can be a tight pain in the arse at this time of year.

If I didn't have children I wouldn't bloody bother.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 21/12/2022 19:15

I've been lumbered (for want of a better word) with MIL again this year. It's not our turn. She's lovely and we get on but it means I won't be able to have a drink until I've driven her home (DH doesn't drive which isn't normally an issue).

Grrrr.

LooLooLemon · 21/12/2022 19:17

Make alternative plans next year that don’t involve her!!

I loved covid Christmas when it was just my own little family without in-laws 😂

Pineconederby · 21/12/2022 19:38

@LooLooLemon - agreed! And great name, by the way.

Speedweed · 21/12/2022 19:47

thinkponk48 · 21/12/2022 14:52

But surely a magic fairy will organise it all. Apparently all my family believe magic fairies sort things out.

Seriously though. I know how you feel. Small acts of thoughtlessness really add up

I blame elf on the shelf - we've trained our families from childhood that there are literally magic elves doing stuff!

Pismascrescents · 21/12/2022 19:50

Lidl had lots of turkeys at £20 ish - they were huge! My little rant- exhausted, not very well, keep asking for help and not getting any. Also seems like one family member is getting unwell.

bluebellmay2020 · 21/12/2022 20:23

Pasta and pesto and lots of sparkling wine?

JackandVera · 21/12/2022 20:57

WilsonMilson · 21/12/2022 14:49

This is lighthearted with an edge of thinly veiled fury, mainly at my dear mother.
I’m breathing deeply and looking forward to a massive gin later.

We travelled from afar for Christmas and arrived yesterday after a long sea and road journey. We are very lucky to have a small second home in my home town - very grateful etc etc. Brought all the presents, already wrapped, i’m very organised, have bought lots of lovely (I hope) things. I’m also catering Christmas for my family, so have all of that to see to as well, as my dm is entirely incapable of coping with cooking (she is not ill or physically unable, she just expects everyone to do things for her) and has been like this for a long time.

Asked my dm to have some things organised for us arriving - some gifts I’d sent straight to her to be wrapped, getting a couple of groceries in for our late arrival, making a Christmas cake, organising a taxi for herself for Christmas Day so I don’t end up not drinking so I can drive her home again like I did last year.

She has done the sum total of nothing. Nada. Says she hasn’t had time!!!!! She is retired and does nothing all day. Whereas I hold down a job, look after a family and have travelled hundreds of miles to have to decorate yet another sodding Christmas tree, and yet I’ve managed to get everything done.

The gifts (which were birthday presents for another relative so needed pre Christmas) were not done, no cake, nothing in for us.
She then tells me that she was unable to get me the Christmas gift I had asked for (pyjamas) as she couldn’t find anything nice in my size (8/10), apparently M&S had NO pyjamas in my size, which is extremely difficult to believe. So I’m just getting money - which frankly I don’t need. It’s just so thoughtless

I feel let down. It’s not as though I’m the black sheep, I’m an only child and we have a generally good relationship, she’s just lazy and useless and it’s driving me to the point of real anger which I don’t want to happen as I’m trying to make it a nice Christmas.

To top things all off, there were zero fresh turkeys in the supermarket today, only turkey crowns, so at this point in time I don’t quite have a turkey. I’d happily wring ones neck right now! The hunt continues…..

So, anyone else with tales of Christmas family annoyance to make me feel better?

In no precise order - the fresh turkey you are after may have been frozen at some point. The Gov have given permission for this to happen this year so unless you are going to a farm for one then who knows!

How old is your mum? I think it's quite cheeky of you to ask her to wrap presents for you and make a Christmas cake.

M and S have had shit nightwear for ages so she has done you a favour. Pop to White Stuff and get some nice ones.

You are younger than her and you should have the energy to do more. It's your choice to live away and then make this journey at this time of year.

Why did you not arrange a grocery delivery to your home? I used to do that when I was an ex pat.

Try to relax and have a nice Christmas!

JackandVera · 21/12/2022 20:58

LooLooLemon · 21/12/2022 19:17

Make alternative plans next year that don’t involve her!!

I loved covid Christmas when it was just my own little family without in-laws 😂

Wow - you must be a lovely daughter!

Mojoj · 21/12/2022 21:13

Just open the gin already....😃

MrsMontyD · 21/12/2022 21:17

@WilsonMilson My Mother makes herself busy by adhering to a strict but completely unnecessary routine, so it's Tuesday for example so she has to go to any next town over to go to the same cafe for breakfast every week, go to the same few shops for nothing important and come back, and she'll tell you she can't possibly do anything on Tuesday because she's busy all day, drives me crazy. Even something like being in for a delivery or a repairman (her house not mine) is impossible because she's busy.

Absolute nonsense that a fit and able retired parent can't wrap a few presents and make a cake when they're otherwise being fully catered for at Christmas.

FoodieToo · 21/12/2022 22:18

Goodness , you sound like hard work !! Make a cake, order a taxi, wrap presents , buy a 'thoughtful' gift for you , go grocery shopping !!!
YOur mum is older and probably leads a relaxed life .
Does she want any of this ??

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