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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

It's Christmas

34 replies

July70 · 20/12/2022 23:11

I get fed up of news items, radio phone-ins and forums where people bang on about I got them and they did not bother. As bad is the fact many spend money they can't afford to spend on what I often deem as useless, so-called presents.

We only celebrate Xmas in a commercial way just like the majority in the UK and thankfully we can afford to get presents to our children who are married nd to have their own children. If we had less money, we'd by a cheaper gift but never borrow money.

People too often forget that Christmas is one day but the bills for food/feul etc will keep on coming

Why not do a Xmas where only the under 16 get presents unless you have money saved up and are comfortable with spending money on a present that will not be tossed into a bin. We give our children/adults money, often 100 pounds each. They can treat themselves to what they want or use it to top up to buy what they want, We have a long day together at our place from about 11 until the early hours of next day.

I was not born in the UK and my parents came here in the 60's and have always joined in the yearly events in a partying, commercial way, like most.

Please do not feel bad if you can't get your child a present costing more than a fiver as its the thought that counts. Even more importantly, a warm home with food on the table and clean, nice clothes count more than one silly present and the odd meal out at big M for kids is a massive treat. Do the right thing now and don't get into unnecessary debt and you will be rewarded in the longer term by your prudent spending as money makes money.

When we were children up to the age of about 13/14 we loved presents but these days kids get presents/toys in many cases every month. So if you are feeling the pinch like millions, don't drive yourself into bigger debt as kids under the age of three are more interested in playing with the toy box etc.

No one gave us a penny, never been on benefits, we never wanted a penny off anyone but my , our parents taught us to spend money that we had and alway have savings and don't live in rented property. Their advice has done us and our children wander. We are financially comfy and part is luck as is everything but the majority is skill and I only get paid about 33k a year and my OH about 45 we both work 40 hours a week, plus lunch breaks and 2 hours travelling so we are away from 12 hours a day but it is worth it

Money makes money, just give it a chance and dont try to run before you can walk.

NB: I am not trying to offend anyone but fed up of foolish spending and debt and worse. Please do not forget Christmas is one day a year and its not really about presents and my parents were not from the uk nor am I. I have been back to the motherland a few times and if you feel you are hard up, you've not really seen anything Enjoy your Xmas, drink in moderation and not getting the 800 PS9 etc, not to worry, trust me you will as money makes money and means less work Enjoy and I wish you a healthy and wealthy 2023 :)

OP posts:
Krakinou · 21/12/2022 07:44

I understand your message but you could be more self aware when it comes to your financial privilege compared to most people. A combined income of 78k is not a standard income, it’s a really good one. Most people (at least those under 40) could not aspire to have that kind of income, and therefore would be pretty hard pressed to save the 20% deposit for a mortgage. Yes, most people would prefer to buy and don’t need to be told that renting is basically throwing away the equivalent of a mortgage payment every month, but without that deposit people really don’t have a choice - they need a roof over their heads. Also without a partner very few people even have the option of renting more than a room in a shared apartment.

Lovely for you that you can afford to give presents to your children every month and own your home. Most of the hard-working educated people I know can’t even afford to consider having children.

Christmas shouldn’t be about consumerism but about love and empathy, so take some time to reflect on the real circumstances of others and think how you can help them, whether that’s in the UK or your country of birth.

July70 · 21/12/2022 09:29

Hello
I think you missed my Xmas message.
Your last paragraph about what Xmas should be but as you know it is not. Just read the dozens of daily threads just on this site about"presents."

About our income. We have a big mortgage and when we first got our first property, our disposable income after bills/food/mortgage was 50 quid a month

What I am saying is do not borrow money, save up and keep savings for a rainy day and gradually money makes money

I posted this thread to remind people Xmas is not about presents. However, I have also disclosed we are not from the UK and my parents arrived in the 60's but we have always, like the majority in the UK celebrated Xmas as a commercial, partying enterprise. Thanks.

OP posts:
FranklySonImTheGaffer · 21/12/2022 09:56

I think you've got a few messages muddled together in there OP.

If you moved to the UK in the 60s, you're at least 50 and life (and costs) now are very different to the 70s, 80s & 90s.
In the 80s and 90s here (Wales) it was usual for one parent to work FT and one to be a stay at home parent. You could run a family that way, including buying a house.
You can't do that now, house prices and general costs are ridiculous and in most cases, you need either 2 incomes or 1 decent one and lots of economising.

Also, as PP said, your household income isn't standard, it's more than a lot of others.

I understand the idea that you shouldn't borrow money for Christmas but life isn't always that straight forward. Lots of people borrow because they don't want their dc to have less than their cousins/neighbours/friends. There's a lot of social pressure that way, plus for the last few years I can imagine there are lots of people who usually celebrates Christmas in a particular way have had their finances dramatically altered and are understandably struggling to alter their celebrations.

My personal feeling is that unless you've been in the position where you can't afford the bills, to buy a house, to buy presents for your children, you probably shouldn't be telling people who are what they should be doing.

xogossipgirlxo · 21/12/2022 10:00

"My personal feeling is that unless you've been in the position where you can't afford the bills, to buy a house, to buy presents for your children, you probably shouldn't be telling people who are what they should be doing."

This.

SkylightSkylight · 21/12/2022 10:06

Patronising load of waffle.

everything else aside, you wouldn't get a mortgage these days with only £50 disposable income.

bizzywiththefizzy · 21/12/2022 10:14

I would get your post deleted it's awful , a few days before Christmas too . You just sound really smug .☹

Fudgemaker · 21/12/2022 10:18

No one appreciates a smug know-it-all lecturing from their ivory tower

HarrietSchulenberg · 21/12/2022 10:27

I am probably about the same age as you, OP, but find your post patronising to younger parents and preachy to the ones who've handled more Christmases.
If you're trying to say, "Enjoy Christmas but don't go mad" then fair enough but the rest reads like a long letter to the People's Friend letters page.

mam0918 · 21/12/2022 11:00

July70 · 21/12/2022 09:29

Hello
I think you missed my Xmas message.
Your last paragraph about what Xmas should be but as you know it is not. Just read the dozens of daily threads just on this site about"presents."

About our income. We have a big mortgage and when we first got our first property, our disposable income after bills/food/mortgage was 50 quid a month

What I am saying is do not borrow money, save up and keep savings for a rainy day and gradually money makes money

I posted this thread to remind people Xmas is not about presents. However, I have also disclosed we are not from the UK and my parents arrived in the 60's but we have always, like the majority in the UK celebrated Xmas as a commercial, partying enterprise. Thanks.

Oh how millions of us wish we had a 'high morgage'... that would mean we had a home.

Taking on that morgage is also a CHOICE you made but you where lucky enough to even have that choice to make.

on top of that you STILL have money left over per month too (your money 'left over' is pretty much my weekly income as a carer... did you realise that some of us only make £69 a week from 35+ hours of work).

Your really are MASSIVELY blind to your extreme financial privilage aren't you.

MermaidEyes · 21/12/2022 11:09

Please do not feel bad if you can't get your child a present costing more than a fiver as its the thought that counts

This is the only non-patronising sentence in your whole post

Needmorelego · 21/12/2022 11:16

A couple of things...
Christmas is more than one day.
Buying a gift that costs a fiver is just normal in my world and nothing unusual.

July70 · 21/12/2022 16:58

@FranklySonImTheGaffer

Thank you, I agree with most of your post. But not the bit about me not being in "that situation," re managing money/hardship. This is because we went without nice stuff/presents/holidays/eating out, nice cars taking taxis for a long while before we could afford them. As I said, money makes money. To often the weak-minded want their children and often the children are not from the same mum/dad, want to give them laptops/games/iphones when they can ill afford to pay their rent/bills etc.

I wanted a brand new BMW and could have got one on hp, thankfully our parent's education provided to us saved the day. Now I drive a nice, bought new AMG Mercedes and OH has an RS Q7 - everything is paid for by cash never pay interest other than a mortgage and Btl.

OP posts:
July70 · 21/12/2022 17:02

Exactly that. And as I said, the time will soon come if you live within your means, time will come when you can afford a lot more. It is important to keep warm, feed your child and dress them so they do not look as though parents are on a low income/etc ie kids feel embarrassed.

I've noted at my grandchild's school, not all of them but two what look to me like designer trainers/tops etc but I know they can ill afford them as their kids are on free school meals. They need to get their priorities straight.

OP posts:
emmathedilemma · 21/12/2022 17:06

Blimey did people actually make it to the end??

July70 · 21/12/2022 17:09

Read the OP, I was talking about over 20 years ago when we got our first property. My parents, inlaws, my siblings, me, my OH's siblings non e of us have lived in social housing. We've worked hard and spent money wisely. I hate sharig my home with strangers but when we first set out. we rented out our our house and stated with my inlaws then when we moved, there was no real money left to enjoy do we rented out a room and that made a massive difference, we could justify a take way, and or taking the children to big M's once money and savings grew. When we were on our feet getting better paid jobs etc and had money in the bank were we paid off a 25 yr mortgage in 9 years and not looked back since

Many that I know of in debt are via the work that i visit for assessments and nealry all of them it is self-inflicted, EG they have their health but don't want to work or spend on the never, never and get into trouble.

Where we come from, if you don't work, you don't really survive and our parents instilled that into us. If you have your health there is no reason why you should not have money saved up for treats in your life and that of your family is you have been sensible like us.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 21/12/2022 17:10

Crikey , who do you think you are , what a load of patronising , self indulgent waffle .

Batshittery · 21/12/2022 17:10

What a crock of shite.
Judgemental much Hmm

July70 · 21/12/2022 17:10

"Smug" are you stupid? We have been trough hard times as per my posts EG nt buying stuff we wanted to buy, do etc, etc. Grow up and stop blaming everyone else for your self-inflicted debts/etc.

OP posts:
steppemum · 21/12/2022 17:15

wow.
you are so patronising.
so tone deaf to the cost of living crisis.

my friend works long full time hours as a carer, she is a single parent due to severe domestic violence.
money is so tight that she regularly doesn't have money for food and electricity.
she has just had flu and lost earnings during november.

her kids are getting gifts via a local gift scheme for struggling families. she can't buy any, she is worrying about getting food on the table, no spare money for gifts, and she doesn't borrow or go on credit.
you really have not. got. a. clue.

take your rich little patronising smug horrible post and shove where the sun doesn't shine

Marthaandthemuffins · 21/12/2022 17:19

You’re having a laugh! 🤣🤣🤣

LindtChristmas · 21/12/2022 17:24

I am kind of missing the Christmas message here....

Must try harder OP.

MermaidEyes · 21/12/2022 17:40

Marthaandthemuffins · 21/12/2022 17:19

You’re having a laugh! 🤣🤣🤣

After reading the updates I think the OP is just winding people up, because seriously, no one can be this patronising towards other people's lifestyles surely....

Lysianthus · 21/12/2022 17:43

Wow. Can't believe you actually wrote this down and posted it. My favourite line is : dress them so they do not look as though parents are on a low income/etc ie kids feel embarrassed.

LindtChristmas · 21/12/2022 18:02

Lysianthus · 21/12/2022 17:43

Wow. Can't believe you actually wrote this down and posted it. My favourite line is : dress them so they do not look as though parents are on a low income/etc ie kids feel embarrassed.

But if they are on school dinners - they aren't allowed anything too nice!

My favourite bit is talking about "weak-minded" parents who spoil their kids (probably due to them having different fathers???!!...). (Not my opinion)

Yeah, this gem of a thread is full of Christmas messages!

Lysianthus · 21/12/2022 18:13

@LindtChristmas Indeed! I'd missed that gem. In fact so many gems - I shall forgive myself, as it's Christmas an' all Xmas Wink

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