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Original poster

Have you ever invited someone you don’t know well for Christmas?

63 replies

tealandteal · 17/12/2022 04:05

DH has said that his boss, who he gets on quite well with, will be on his own for Christmas. His dad is dying and he can’t be with his family this year, he has no wife/partner/kids. We have talked about inviting him for Christmas, has anyone ever invited someone like this? I’ve never met him but would be up for inviting him. I’m just not sure how he will find Christmas, it’s going to be a bit manic with two children (5 and 6 months), 4 dogs ((not all mine) my PIL and my mum. Worried he might feel pressured to accept? We have enough food.

OP posts:
PaulaTrilloe · 17/12/2022 04:27

That's a lovely offer. Depending on whether boss lives nearby he could dip in and out if he needs some private time.

HirplesWithHaggis · 17/12/2022 04:32

I have. We invited a "pub friend", pointed out that it was informal, he knew we had kids etc, no pressure but he was welcome if he wanted... he came, we had a great time, he became a genuine friend for many years until his untimely death. We still raise a glass to him.

HowVeryBizarre · 17/12/2022 06:28

Yes, very common with people I know who have ended up in different countries at Christmas with no family. We have had more than one Christmas with “randoms”. People who don’t want to be alone usually accept the invite and are grateful and gracious guests, people who are happy to be alone decline the invite. I would invite him.

Lwren · 17/12/2022 06:35

Yes! I do, all positive! Genuinely not a single drama or awkward moment.

I've done this shit loads with colleagues I've not really known.
I was a single mum many years and for about 3 years on the run had single parents and their kids over for Xmas and that was so much fun for the kids. Instead of us all sat at home feeling underwhelmed we got stuck in and had a ball.
I've had colleagues with no local family come over, ones from departments I didn't work in, just word gets around, "go see lwren, she'll have space" and then I've brought clients home who have no families when I've worked in care work too. Unprofessional yes, do I care, nah.

Christmas isn't awkward I've found, if it was just inviting someone to dinner then it can be a bit forced, but Christmas is busy, there's so much to discuss, games, crazy kids behaving like chocolate is a class a drug, it's marvellous to break the ice.

Pull some Crackers, have a bucks fizz and just don't talk work.

I can say hand on heart I've enjoyed Xmas with people I barely know much more than I have with some family members.

Let us know what he says if you invite him.
I've a very small Xmas this year so I'm invested in other people's 😂

mam0918 · 17/12/2022 08:00

I would rather be alone to be honest, the years where I was a lose end in a foreign enviroment where awful.

  • surely he has plans to visit his dad.
Galliano · 17/12/2022 08:10

Yes and never had a problem/awkward time.
My young adult children have been guests of various friends/acquaintances for thanksgiving and Xmas in the USA whilst studying there and always had a fab time.

Hellocatshome · 17/12/2022 08:12

My family did, an elderly lady whose sons had both moved abroad and rest of her family were dead. Initially she just used to come for Christmas Dinner but now she comes in the morning and stays all day and gets taken home at the end with all her presents and enough left overs to keep her going for a long time. She is basically part of the family now but ik not sure we have many Christmases left with her which is very sad.

She loved the chaos of a Christmas with kids and now the kids are teens she is fascinated by all the things they talk to her about and has stared in countless Tik Tok videos.

Tumbleweed101 · 17/12/2022 08:19

I invited an online friend from another country one year. We got
on really well and I think she enjoyed it as she would have been otherwise alone. The most important thing was to make sure I gave her her own space so she felt like she had somewhere to retreat if my busy family got a bit overwhelming (lots of strangers to her). It was nice for my children to learn about traditions in other countries too.

FinDevon · 17/12/2022 08:26

My family has always done this. We are Dutch and welcome people on Christmas Eve. Many people can be too insular to think of those spending Christmas by themselves.

Even if someone declines the offer, I'm sure they'll have appreciated the thought.

Onekidnoclue · 17/12/2022 08:30

Yes! I love it. My family generally behave better if there’s someone else there. If you offer he can say no. X

Justcallmebebes · 17/12/2022 08:33

Many, many times. My family always invited someone who had nowhere to go. Usually someone from church. Looked at many an old photo from Christmases past with a random stranger there.

We've carried on the tradition, now usually foreign students who haven't gone home for whatever reason

FortyFacedFuckers · 17/12/2022 08:35

As a child most years we had a stranger at Christmas as my grandmother worked in a local shop and would get taking to all sorts of people and if anyone had no where to go they would be invited.

WimpoleHat · 17/12/2022 08:36

My friend did this - an old friend of her DH’s that she’d never met and wasn’t too pleased to have for Christmas. But afterwards? She was his biggest fan! He spent hours playing with her son, brought lovely wine for everyone, meant that all the in-laws and parents were on best behaviour (because, you know, guests). The kids begged for him to be invited the following year and were really sad when he couldn’t. I’d give it a go. If DH likes him, that’s a good start.

NewToWoo · 17/12/2022 08:37

We invited DS's uni friend last year as he couldn;t afford to go back to his home country. He stayed a month!

TottersBlankly · 17/12/2022 08:38

In my world this is what Christmas means. It’s meant to be shared.

As a child my parents almost invariably invited people we didn’t know well - a family just arrived in the country, an acquaintance, distant relatives, stray children of friends far from home - to spend the day, or a few days, with us. Christmas Day always meant one or two people sleeping on the sofa, and non-dining chairs dragged to the table. This was in 20th c Home Counties England. And I recall a Christmas in another country where a dozen disparate people turned up across the day - and all sat down for lunch.

Tbh it meant that some of my Christmasses as a young adult felt strangely flat, until I had a proper home of my own and could carry on the tradition.

The MN Christmas “Just my little family - no grandparents, no friends, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone else there …” sounds grim to me. We used to love choosing a few extra, flexible presents for expected and unexpected guests.

CaramelizedNuts · 17/12/2022 08:40

I get the kindness of the offers but often it comes from other peoples discomfort in the idea that people are on their own for Christmas

I've had years in the past with no one here for Xmas day and it's been wonderful. The kind and generous offers for attending friends houses for lunch are great but it's awkward joining another family and their traditions etc

The years alone are memorable in so much as no work long walks and quiet 😊

Triffid1 · 17/12/2022 08:40

Yes, we have done it often and it was practically a rule for my parents. It usually makes things even better as it introduces an unusual and interesting element. Definitely do it.

MissMarpleRocks · 17/12/2022 08:44

My family have always invited people who are on their own - open house rule. I had 5 extra turn up one Boxing Day. There is always plenty of food.

CousinKrispy · 17/12/2022 08:46

I've been the "extra" at a family holiday gathering (though not Christmas in the UK) and it was wonderful and much appreciated. And we've had various family friends added in and always had a great time.

Judgyjudgy · 17/12/2022 08:46

All the time, I always invite anyone if they might be at a loose end. The more the merrier Xmas Smile

TottersBlankly · 17/12/2022 08:48

I do also agree with @CaramelizedNuts that Christmas alone can be magnificent. (Far, far preferable to long, tense, sozzled days of barely disguised hostility amongst family members who don’t actually like you!)

It’s just the determinedly exclusive nuclear family Christmas that seems strange.

lunar1 · 17/12/2022 08:52

Yep, DH has brought random doctors who would be on their own home with him before from work. I'd never want to see someone alone for Christmas if they don't want to be. We have also had neighbours over too.

For me it's a far better way to celebrate that having a panic over having the exact number of nice plates and not being able to compromise!

gogohmm · 17/12/2022 08:52

Yes I've been to others and invited people who were on their own, also delivered meals to neighbours who "didn't want to be any bother".

One year I had a lady from church, a friend of my DD's whose parents were in the process of splitting up (had her for 4 nights including picking her up at 11pm crying at 15 years old) and a guy exh knew from his work who was from Japan plus my parents, brothers plus partners, my kids, h and a very confused dog who dislikes Christmas due to the evil crackers. H was dispatched at serving time with meals for my next door but one neighbours too

Tiredoftinseltat · 17/12/2022 08:53

I think it’s a really nice thing to do, but (and I am in no way suggesting that the OP would do this!) I do also think you have to be prepared to accept that some people are happier alone than in a family environment when they aren’t part of that family.

Some people can get very pushy when they hear someone is spending Christmas alone.

bigbadbarry · 17/12/2022 08:55

Yes, we’ve done this several times. It is an invitation that can be declined though, to those who are saying they prefer Christmas alone!