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Christmas

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Original poster

Have you ever invited someone you don’t know well for Christmas?

63 replies

tealandteal · 17/12/2022 04:05

DH has said that his boss, who he gets on quite well with, will be on his own for Christmas. His dad is dying and he can’t be with his family this year, he has no wife/partner/kids. We have talked about inviting him for Christmas, has anyone ever invited someone like this? I’ve never met him but would be up for inviting him. I’m just not sure how he will find Christmas, it’s going to be a bit manic with two children (5 and 6 months), 4 dogs ((not all mine) my PIL and my mum. Worried he might feel pressured to accept? We have enough food.

OP posts:
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 17/12/2022 09:00

We invited a colleague of my daughter's to join us on Christmas evening nine years ago. We had a lovely evening with all the family and my DiL and her family joined us as well. We added the chap on FB and not long after he got married and moved away. We've not spoken for years but only this week he messaged and said how much he had enjoyed that Christmas and how he would love to have a video meet up with us all soon.

For us it made no difference if he came or not but for him, as a single man away from his family and his fiance it meant that he had company and was part of a family.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 17/12/2022 09:05

Yes! Slightly different as we were fostering teens at the time, but we’ve also invited friends of our kids (teens/twenties) who would otherwise be alone.

Like @FinDevon my father/grandparents were Dutch (although we usually celebrated on Christmas Day), in my childhood there were often English friends/neighbours/some obscure Dutch relative that was a cousin of a auntie of an uncle no one had ever heard off, and I guess I do the same “absorb people into our family” at Christmas. This year I have invited my daughter’s MIL as her grump of a husband can’t be arsed with Christmas (he’s a lapsed Jew who’d celebrate Christmas, but he’s a miserable old bastard all year & last year was in hospital with covid which, although ill, his wife was secretly relieved he wasn’t there because his Scrooging Bah-Humbugging does her head in).

My door is always open all year round!

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 17/12/2022 09:07

Of course, we give presents (if they’re here overnight on Christmas Eve they have their own stocking too), and tree presents after dinner, or main gifts. For that Christmas period they are important and loved as if they were family.

TottersBlankly · 17/12/2022 09:16

The wonder on a comparative stranger’s face when they wake up to a stuffed full stocking is just delicious. It’s a real reward for all the frantic pre-Christmas family group chat negotiations over presents, and praying to the gods of Evri, and waking up at 3.00 am on Christmas morning certain you’ve forgotten someone!

AudHvamm · 17/12/2022 09:25

I think it’s a lovely idea! When I was a child we had an acquaintance of my dad spend Christmas with us one year, can’t remember why he didn’t have anywhere else to go. We kids had never met him before but it was fun! I was talking to my dad about it recently actually and we both remembered it as a good experience.
We also had my friend’s mum one year (but maybe just on Christmas Eve) when my friend and her siblings were with their dad.

Phoenixrising2020 · 17/12/2022 09:35

I invited a new friend who was a single parent with a large young family. We had a great time and lots of laughter. I would happily do it again.

KnickerlessParsons · 17/12/2022 09:42

Yes. We have two people coming for Christmas that DH has never met and I have met once. They'll be here from Christmas Eve to 27th, though staying in a hotel.

mondaytosunday · 17/12/2022 10:08

Not me but my parents did this all the time. Anyone they knew, even vaguely, that were in their own for Xmas were invited. They had form - once met an artist at a show and they asked where he was staying. He said his accommodation had fallen through so was just going to find a hotel. He stayed with us for four days and became a good friend of theirs. Such king, generous people.

mdh2020 · 17/12/2022 10:12

It would be lovely to invite him but perhaps it would be better to invite him for a meal after Christmas. DD was travelling in Australia and spent Christmas with a distant relative and said she had never felt so homesick. My secretary was widowed and declined all invitations to Christmas Dinner on the grounds that no one had ever invited her to Sunday lunch. She definitely preferred to be on her own.

itbemay · 17/12/2022 10:21

Yes! A few years back my DH worked for an international bank and there were often people working there who's family wasn't in London so he used to invite them to ours, it was lovely! We had a good stretch of a few years where we had work colleagues join us for Xmas lunch. He has left that employment now but I would not hesitate to invite anyone to us that was alone.

Highfivemum · 17/12/2022 10:57

Only once have I done this. It was my DB elderly neighbour who he knew had no one. We had 2 children at the time and my DB always comes to Christmas Day at ours. He invited her and she was a total joy after intial bit of awkwardness due to the fact we had never met. She died in the March and had told my DB it was simply the best Christmas she ever had. It’s good to spread a bit of Christmas joy to those who need it

caringcarer · 17/12/2022 10:59

We invited my dd Spanish penfriend who had stayed with us once before for Xmas as her Dad was going skiing and she did not want to go. All good she had a lovely time and invited DD back again to Spain to stay with her the following summer.

starfishmummy · 17/12/2022 11:00

Once, all your friends and even your OH were total strangers and people you didn't know well; so why not ask?

In their shoes, even if I was to say no thanks, I'd appreciate the thought.

FlamingJingleBells · 17/12/2022 11:01

I spend the entire year with my nuclear family so I want a busy celebration with lots of people. I'm sick to the death of hearing the same stories & bad jokes from dh. So a different face, different stories and traditions is welcomed by me.

SaveMeCheezus · 17/12/2022 11:07

I haven't invited because the circumstance hasn't arisen, but I've been the random invitee (invited by my flatmate at the time's parents to spend Christmas with them as I wasn't going home that year).

I was very touched to be invited and had a wonderful time in the melee of their family Christmas. I think I ended up with them for 2 or 3 Christmases in the end.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 17/12/2022 11:12

When my son was in his late teens, he invited a girl he had been at school with her family had more or less abandoned her and she was going to be on her own at Christmas. His brother moaned about having some random stranger around the Christmas table, however when she arrived they all got on fine took themselves off down the pub whilst we prepared the diner, then we all sat round the table and had a jolly nice time, she stayed a couple of nights in one of their bedrooms whilst they doubled up with each other.

Deathraystare · 17/12/2022 11:42

Would you be accommodating him too? If so, he would have a quiet place to go to if it gets too much .

I think it is a nice idea and it might help him. Just warn him it might be a bit chaotic (he might actually love it!)

CharlotteStreetW1 · 17/12/2022 11:45

I chose to spend Christmas alone one year (fortunate to have the choice). Couldn't believe how many invitations I received - even from the office manager who hated me!

Imafirework · 17/12/2022 12:19

Yes. I can't bear to think of anyone on their own at Christmas.
We always had a few waifs and strays for dinner on Christmas day when we were kids.

It's the meaning of Christmas 🎄

sonjadog · 17/12/2022 12:22

I have been the person invited to other people's Christmas (it was fun and a memorable year), and I would always invite someone who I knew was alone for Christmas. With a clear understanding that they could say no if they wanted to. I have enjoyed the Christmases where other people have been there. As past posters say, it means the family is on its best behaviour!

SallyWD · 17/12/2022 12:27

I haven't but I think that's a lovely idea. That really is the true spirit of Christmas.

mscynical · 17/12/2022 12:28

A few years ago my lovely ex who was a head waiter asked if we could have some of his co-workers round on Christmas Day as they had nowhere to go - foreign workers so stuck here after working hectic hours.

We ended up with 22 people round my (large) table - not just from his restaurant but chefs, waiters, kitchen porters all knew each other from other venues in the town. Several Italians, couple of French and Spanish, Moroccan, Algerian, Portuguese, Polish, Brazilian. Some bought instruments, I had a piano and a couple could play really well. No TV on all day just laughter, joking, getting words mixed up from all the different languages, dancing, singing. From midday to midnight it was magical. Everyone merry, no drunken stupidity although the tree did come down twice!

When I took the dog out the next morning I was stopped by at least 4 neighbours who said we could hear your party and it reminded them of the old days, how we wished we could have been invited, what a great time it sounded like from the street etc. etc.

Everyone asked if we were doing the same the following year but sadly I had arranged to go to my parents. So never repeated. But I often think about how wonderful it was. My kids still talk about it.

LindaEllen · 17/12/2022 12:31

My mum used to be a nurse at a private hospital, and they had 2 resident doctors who alternated over 2-week periods. We live a few minutes from the hospital so Mum invited him for Christmas dinner, as we could get him back very quickly if he was needed (but it would have been an emergency with a recently discharged patient as they don't keep patients in the hospital over Christmas - so it was very unlikely).

I thought it was going to be a bit odd, but actually it was fine, he was a good laugh and we got on well. He was from Romania so it was interesting for him to have a traditional English Christmas, and for him to tell us what would be different back home.

shiningcuckoo · 17/12/2022 12:38

Yes. A colleague of my husband. She turned up with gifts and I bought a gift for her. She had broken up with her boyfriend and her family was miles away. The following year she showed up again, this time uninvited, which surprised me, but OK. The year after that my husband had left me to carry on with the affair he'd been having with her.

YuliaJollyberry · 17/12/2022 12:40

We are overseas and often have friends of friends whom we’ve not met join us for the day or some of it. We’ve also invited people newly arrived or whom we’ve only recently met.