Telling kids about Santa

[SpinningFloppa]

If your older child no longer believe in Santa but you have a younger child what do you do? I know children get to an age where they no longer believe so how do you tell them the truth without the younger one finding out?

I have never told my dc the truth. They have gradually moved into understanding it is a game we are playing together without the need for this.

They have asked me out right though? I’m guessing yours haven’t?

Didn’t work here. Older one immediately told the younger one. Depends how good your older one is at self control (mine is ND and not so much).

There's no Santa? 😱 I'm 62. My mum never told me!

And yes older one had been asking me outright for 2+ years by this point. She questions everything.

Yes mine ask a lot and even say in front of the younger one “santas not real” “santas fake” etc

They have, but I have stuck with "some people believe and some people don't. What do you think?" Sometimes they say they believe and sometimes they say they don't. I neither confirm nor deny. Even after 11yo dd1 had told me she definitely doesn't think she believes, I found she still wanted to check NORAD and bake cookies to leave out for Santa. She obviously knows, deep down, that it isn't real, but I think she wants there to remain a little sliver of a chance that magic is real.

If they are already saying that to younger children, have a chat with older children about the magic of santa and how it is a feeling. Try and involve them with keeping the magic of santa alive for the younger ones.

Then just get on with life. I knew about Santa from the age of 6. It never ruined it for me!!!

As above poster said, you just say something like 'I don't know, what do you think?' or you can just keep saying 'yes of course he exists', like one of my parents did and still does to this day even though all the children are well into their 20s and 30s😂

You don't have to tell your children anything, they work it out themselves.

If your older child comes to you when the younger isn't in earshot, a nice thing to do is to ask them to help keep the magic for the younger child, it can make them feel grown up.

Well he’s definitely already worked it out but he keeps telling the younger ones he isn’t real that’s the problem so I don’t want to continue lying to him and pretending it’s real to him but at the same time don’t want him spoiling it for the younger ones.

That was my experience. The older ones never told the younger ones. Thinking about it I don't think any of mine have ever told me they don't believe and one of them is 50. I don't think we ever felt the need to discuss it, or maybe they just worry they'll get less if they admit the terrible truth.

I also made a point about the real Father Christmas being St Nicholas and telling them stories of the kind things he did so maybe that helped?

I would be telling my older one that there would be no presents for them if they tell the younger and would 100% do it too. I think ruining Christmas for younger people is vile selfish behaviour and would be very clear about that. They can choose to be really nasty, or they can choose to be in the Santa squad and help out in keeping the Christmas magic. One is fun and the other means no presents.

Santa is real in this house and the oldest is 17. No lying is involved. People all scattered over the world celebrate some form of Santa arriving over the festive period. How can that many people be wrong?

Children who would delight in telling their younger siblings something that they think would hurt them are being nasty IMO. Like parents who shout Christmas is cancelled. They are wrong, not necessarily in what they are saying but the reason for saying it, I would never tolerate that level of meanness.

Santa comes at Christmas. There are presents. It’s a mystery. It’s a game. It doesn’t matter if you are 7 or 17. You’ll leave the mince pie and carrot and hang a stocking no matter what, right? Just in case.

Santa might work through other people but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t or didn’t exist.

But it’s not real? And he has figured that out Im not going to tell him he won’t get presents 😣

Ok the way in which we tell kids Santa is real isn’t, and if a child asks out right then I’m finding that I don’t want to keep lying to him and saying yes it is as he is too old for that now (10) but at the same time my younger child still “believes”

Truly the spirit of the season. Pretend this lie is real or get no presents. Almost exactly how the Christian’s stole the festival from the Pagans. 👏

Don't lie - become the Switzerland of Christmas!

"Some people believe and some people don't. Everyone gets to decide for themself."

It doesn’t need discussing. They just stop believing. If it looks like they’re about to slip out the truth to the younger one, a suitably viscous glare ought to do the trick.

My presents from my parents were always signed ‘from Santa’ right up until I had my own children.

My DD thinks she’s stopped believing but she still has to play the game. Because if you go around saying you don’t believe, you don’t get anything! Simple

Santa is real in this house and the oldest is 17. No lying is involved. People all scattered over the world celebrate some form of Santa arriving over the festive period. How can that many people be wrong?

Billions believe in different versions of god. Lots will kill to prove their utter belief in that. They can’t all be right.

Millions believe that the tories/Trump have their interests at heart.

How far do you want to take this?

(And the version of Santa told to kids is a lie. There is no fat man in a red suit delivering presents across the world. We never told DD there was. She worked out, aged 7, that it was physically impossible as he would have to travel faster than the speed of light. The magic comes from elsewhere in this house.)

Exactly this. Who’s willing to take that risk? 😂

I never needed the discussion with my eldest. The younger one was asking, he must have been about 6 and the eldest (9) just grinned at me and winked. I just said to the youngest "well someone brings the presents, who do you think it is?". He hadn't figured that bit out yet and I've no idea when he did but expect it was before the next Christmas.
I never told my parents I'd figured it out by 7 either. None of us did, way too risky a strategy! We never told younger siblings either.

Keeping the magic is exactly the spirit of the season. It is not about truth and lies. Magic can happen through people. They don't have to lie even, just not be nasty and ruin things for people.

Plus, I am pagan and my Christmas certainly hasn't been stolen. There is entry of scope for everyone to do there own thing.

I have zero tolerance for nastiness though.

My kids really liked being given the grown up responsibility of pretending he's real in front of other kids who may or may not believe. I have no clue if they told others but in public they spoke as if he were real just in case kids in earshot believed.

6 year old DS in Wilko 2 weeks ago looking at Santa hats: So Mummy I know there's no Santa and it's just you and Daddy

Me: Oh, you do do you? Fair enough. You have to promise not to tell your sister though. And don't talk about it at school in case your friends don't know

DS: (beaming with pride at knowing a big boy secret from 4 year old DD) OK! Promise!

Once since he launched into saying it front of his 6 and 3 year old cousins before we were about to go to a grotto and got a stern grip of the arm to remind him not to tell anyone else who doesn't know and he was fine.

No big drama.