Page 3 | Can we have a non-judgey space to vent and breathe the Christmas stress out?

SockFluffInTheBath · 2022-12-11T21:52:29+00:00

I'm feeling it already. Am I alone? How about a thread where we can just vent, moan, rant- without judgement, no competition or reminders that others would like our problems, just a space to make a noise and walk away?

Dreamwhisper · 13/12/2022 14:53

whimsical1975 · 13/12/2022 14:27

@Dreamwhisper when my teens were little, and they just weren't sure what to believe, I told them that everyone in the world is allowed to believe in whatever makes their heart the happiest. I told them that I believed in FC because it makes me happy so if FC makes them happy then they can believe that too. If some children are happy believing otherwise then that's also ok. There is just so much pressure on these little souls to believe one way or another so I just let my children decide for themselves. I've taken the same approach with religion, or lack thereof... whatever makes your heart happy.

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That's really lovely and comforting thank you, I think it's a perfect thing to say

MarriedinMaui · 13/12/2022 17:29

MolesOnPoles · 11/12/2022 21:58

We’re doing a family secret Santa (good), but it’s only just been sorted out and I have no time to go to the shops and most delivery from inde places can’t now be guaranteed by Christmas (bad).

Assume that’s the same for most of us, so my performatively left aunt will spend all day making cats bum faces about us using Amazon instead.

Not the end of the world at all, but it’s my current irritant.

@MolesOnPoles

radicalteatowel.co.uk
She'll love it, super independent all made in wales and very lefty, and their last order day is December 19th

Maxineputyourredshoeson1 · 13/12/2022 18:07

I’ve got a sore throat, feels like razor blades down my throat, an ear that hurts, stabbing pain, when I swallow and a headache that feels like a migraine headache. I’ve taken to my bed. I could cry as everyone, including DM and MIL, has been ill on and off for the past FOUR weeks and until now I have managed to avoid it. DD’s have missed so much school, youngest DD has missed her last ever nativity play (I may have cried) and is going to miss her Christmas party tomorrow. They have both been so poorly and at (almost) 13 and 10 we haven’t slept because of the coughing.

We have decorated the whole of our bungalow - very long story - that has put us very much behind with Christmas, none of the Christmas baking has been thought about let alone done - with the exception of the Christmas cakes that have been panic baked.

We decided in our wisdom (ha!) that we wouldn’t get a Christmas delivery slot we would try and save money by actually going to the shop, this was before everyone started getting ill. Normally I have ‘done’ the food shop online by now and just add stuff as and when remembered. Need to write a shopping list, at the moment I can’t be arsed and I’m hoping when I start to feel better I will have a bit more enthusiasm.

Not a single present has been wrapped - although it’s actually DH who wraps I know whose is whose so need to be around at the organisation stage ffs. We also do it when the DC are at school - fine bloody chance of that at the moment!!!

Its all so pathetic, I know but I’m usually one of the smug people that has done everything by now and I feel ill and want to cry 😢

redjellyshoes · 13/12/2022 19:40

whimsical1975 · 13/12/2022 14:27

@Dreamwhisper when my teens were little, and they just weren't sure what to believe, I told them that everyone in the world is allowed to believe in whatever makes their heart the happiest. I told them that I believed in FC because it makes me happy so if FC makes them happy then they can believe that too. If some children are happy believing otherwise then that's also ok. There is just so much pressure on these little souls to believe one way or another so I just let my children decide for themselves. I've taken the same approach with religion, or lack thereof... whatever makes your heart happy.

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Absolutely love this, thank you.

locomum83 · 13/12/2022 20:05

Can't stand Christmas, used to love it but now I can't stand it.
3 young noisy kids, two elderly chaotic parents and a judgey MIL who don't get on and will spend the time nit picking at the children at the dinner table.
A daft dog who the grannies and husband hate, an autistic husband who just can't cope so will disappear and leave me to deal with it all.
Cooking, tidying up, the noise oh god the noise!
The most wonderful time of the year 👍

Hairgician · 14/12/2022 12:23

Dp asked me when i was going to invite my folks for christmas dinner. Could fucking punch him in the face repeatedly. Ive posted on here previously about how dm has fucked up wedding planning already. Weve not spoke since may and im not running after her. Ready to fucking cancel everything now.

Speedweed · 14/12/2022 20:11

lightisnotwhite · 13/12/2022 00:02

I don’t really get why it’s still so stressful compared to years ago.
My grandmother had nine children and a husband away in the war. Aside from all the manual jobs looking after them she also worked part time. At Christmas she shopped paid for and cooked the cake, pudding and mince pies from scratch as well as every other meal. My father and his siblings all had presents without help from Amazon.. My granny knitted proper clothes and blankets in her “ spare” time. Good job too and the 40’s saw some of the coldest winters on record.
Thats stress.

But regardless of that, the reality is it’s bloody nightmare now.There’s still so much to do and even with a budget I’m haemorrhaging money.

This is a good point... why is it so much more stressful than it used to be?

You'd think it would be easier, eg we have delivery services so no need to stagger round the shops with loads of bags (although delivery can be hit and miss, as we're seeing this year, and that's almost more stressful as the worry can go on for weeks). We don't need to spend hours knitting stuff or baking everything from scratch. Christmas cards are dying a death, so a card list of hundreds which took at least a week of evenings to write the damn things is no more.

Do we do more, pack more stuff in? It seems the way we celebrate Christmas has largely stayed the same. It feels like there are fewer gatherings, people dropping in and fewer big parties eg black tie work dos.

So why does it seem so much more stressful???

FancyFran · 15/12/2022 08:02

DC are now 19/23. The grandparents have passed away and they have aunts and uncles that don't speak and no one invites us over. Tight fisted siblings. Just one meal I don't have to cook would be nice. We are spending our second Christmas in our small rented flat (with horrendous storage costs) having had three previous house purchases fall through due to greedy gazumping. It has cost us £10k. No one feels any guilt. They are alright Jack.
However I love Christmas. I buy a posh turkey crown (the leg meat gets wasted and it gives the dog the trots), Marks veg and loads of cheese. I have bought gifts but I don't post anything. If you can't be bothered to call you don't get them!
My birthday is the week before Christmas so I rarely get anything beyond flowers, chocs etc. I don't care anymore. I have my radio times and will go on strike after Christmas day. Feet up, cheese out. I have done my bit and will spend some savings making sure I don't have to sweat the small stuff. Viva La Lazy Cow.