Can we have a non-judgey space to vent and breathe the Christmas stress out?

[SockFluffInTheBath]

I'm feeling it already. Am I alone? How about a thread where we can just vent, moan, rant- without judgement, no competition or reminders that others would like our problems, just a space to make a noise and walk away?

Sorry, your last sentence made me laugh out loud as she doesn't sound like that lovely from your post 😂
Really tough having someone in the house for that long especially with two teens doing exams and working full time etc.. Have three teens here so know how it is.

Going to my mum this year because she cannot leave home (has dementia) and all other sisters are all away. Love her to bits and she is the best but am dreading my kids and DH seeing how downhill she has gone in past few months and the heartbreak of that fucking disease.
Christmas is so hard, I really think once kids are grown up I will escape to Bali or somewhere on my own for the entire month!

No.

Sorry about your mum but that bit about your DH and the mystery illness is just too funny 😂

I've been in bed with flu for a week. Haven't got all my shopping done and panicking. The house is filthy. We had a house fire in July and we are meant to get whatever belongings could be salvaged and cleaned back today, assuming the truck can get through in the snow. I'm hoping those will include Christmas decs or else we will be very minimal this year. (The list said some decorations, but the destroyed list also said that so who knows- and I'm preparing to be very upset if it's all my sentimental ones that are gone).
We have both sets of parents and all 4 kids this year (my two and two DSS's). The DSS's mum is very sick and they are already feeling guilt about having Christmas with us (the first in 3 years), despite their Mum saying this is what she'd prefer. I'm really nervous about the whole thing tbh.

I’ve been unwell the last few days come down with this virus going around had no energy and all the Christmas things I had planned at the weekend I couldn’t do . I haven’t put my tree up yet or wrapped a single present yet . I’ve a couple of relatives who want to know when’s best to exchange presents I haven’t bought theirs yet . Plus the teacher gifts before end of term on Friday . I’m normally so organised but I really can’t be bothered this year .

I'm feeling a little down because my eldest DC (7) is feeling a bit worried or sad about Christmas and I can't figure out why. I'm worried it's because she has figured out FC isn't real but I've tried to gently broach the subject and am not sure. She said this morning she was worried she was on the naughty list (so typical, she's an absolute angel and her brother who is a bit of a wild child would never have that concern!)

So I'm genuinely really torn about what to do and say to make it better for her. I put so much into planning Christmas and I'm pretty sure she can sense it's probably me, as she asked her dad if he thought FC was real but hasn't said anything like that to me.

Last year she got upset when she was tired and shouted at me that FC wasn't real, it's your mum and dad and the magic is love. I believe one of her best friends at school may have told her he's not real.

Such a small thing but I hate to see her down and conflicted at a time when she should be happy and carefree.

Well usually I love Christmas and all the planning is right up my street but I’ve been away twice for a week ( last week in November then first 3 days December), then three days, then come home with covid last week. I’m finishing up a job, trying to integrate into a new one, completing writing my thesis, and my grandmother died. I’m selling a house too to top it off. I could see the whole thing far enough this year…

I’ve put the tree and decorations up, done all the wrapping, posted gifts, been to the panto, going to Carol services next weekend, read Christmas books, listened to the music and watched the films but I still don’t really feel in the mood for Christmas.

I don’t think it’s Christmas itself but more the fact my mum’s been declining cognitively over the past couple of years and I think that quite soon she’ll be diagnosed with dementia. She’s only in her late 60s and having seen her recently and having spoken with her and my dad, I think they’re both in denial about it to some extent. It just makes everything feel very stressful and I feel both DH and myself are on edge a bit this year. We just don’t really quite know what support to give or what we should say to them.

Anyway, we’ll try and make Christmas fun and lovely for everyone but I just feel a bit hollow and empty at the moment and am looking forward to the new year.

My kids are constantly ill, well not constantly by the youngest has been ill for about 75% off the last month. DH has been away for a week and I need to get the youngest complicated school application sorted which is taking time, sort out the presents and buy/pack for a January holiday. We are very lucky to be going on holiday but I have no idea what to pack for the weather.

And DD1 is probably going to miss her school play and they are both going to miss their santa visit/fair.

When I was a child Christmas was much more of a religious festival because most folks went to Church and then much more personal because we all celebrated in our own traditional way with family.
It was unheard of not to spend Christmas day without family !
Now these days we are influenced by the media so much.. the TV adverts for food we do not need.. the party food that we all know is pretty crap and the huge pressure to light up our homes and wear matching pyjamas etc etc
Nobody does Christmas right or wrong but people do look at others and copy or go one better
If anyone is feeling pressured take a step back and remind yourself it will all be over on Boxing Day bar the shouting and the cleaning up :)
Happy Christmas one and all

Mine is really tiny potatoes in comparison to others but…I’m just not sure I know how to celebrate Christmas anymore! DD is 2.5, this will be her first what you might call ‘normal’ Christmas.

2020 was lockdown Christmas, no visiting family. 2021, last year, my DF had just heart surgery so, with omnicron circulating, we decided not to give him the gift of covid so went to DH’s DF. Who was promptly diagnosed with cancer on Christmas Eve. Then DH got flu which put him in hospital over New Year for 3 days. I feel a little like I’m celebrating/preparing for Christmas, painting by numbers style.

On the plus side, we’ve all had this virus that’s going round so fingers & toes crossed, that’s one less thing to worry about! Only ‘flu, strep A, snow, general strikes…

2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th the comments about having to do it all. It's like feminism and supposed equality just didn't happen. DH more than pulls his weight when it comes to decorating the house, putting lights up etc, and is officially in charge of buying DS's presents (I buy DD's) but in reality, he's actually bought 2 and I've bought 7.

A few years ago, on Christmas Eve at 11pm, when we'd just put them all out in the lounge, he said that what we'd bought him wasn't good enough. REALLY helpful thing to say at that point. Obviously DS loved everything FC had brought him, but I still get pissed off with him when I think about that.

We're not finished decorating and at the mo are a bedroom down. DH has just offered for his dad to stay for a few days the week before Xmas. But I have nowhere to put him.

I mean we'll squeeze in, but I didn't need this!!

I'd just like to have a little vent that I've lost a week of December to illness razing through our house and as a single mum I'm so drained and so behind now. 😭 Only got ahold the decorations up before the germs got me, not a single present wrapped and I rarely get chance to. No plans made for when I'll see my mum (which is an emotional minefield all round) and no conversation the ex who is likely thinking it will be the same as last year (me hosting him for the day so we both see the kids xmas day).

I'm soo tired and feel like shite. And I've so much to do!

My late DH died on December 21st, 15 years ago, and every year I get twitchier as the solstice approaches that some other non-specified bad thing is going to happen.
Got the tree up and got DS's presents wrapped but I'm not going to start feeling it till December 22nd, so long as no other bugger croaks between now and then.
Also, the weather is so fucking miserable. What I would not give for sunlight!!!! My mum's in a care home and we were going to bring her to DS's Service Of Nine Lessons & Carols at the cathedral tonight: he's a reader. It's just not safe either for us to drive or for her to have to walk from wherever we're able to park the car.
Well, arseholes to it, I'm going to set my phone to record the bloody thing for her from my handbag.

I miss my mum terribly at this time of year & really struggle to get into the spirit of it all. Got my brother arriving shortly with his family earlier than planned while we still have another 2 weeks to work & kids are at school & college so will need to host them for dinners etc after work. Still got about half my shopping to do but waiting to get paid so will be a mad rush at the end as usual, DC are teens so everything I suggest they don’t want to do so I’ve decided to book nothing & just go with the flow. Had a few meals already with friends which had been nice & going out for Xmas dinner so one less stress to deal with.

we have booked a holiday abroad this year on 2nd Jan the with DC and go be honest I’m looking forward to that more than Christmas just to chill & do nothing .

Sorry you’ve all got so much shit to deal with at this time of year.
like many of you I’ve moved on from caring for little DCs straight onto caring for an elderly parent and disabled relative. It’s an awful lot of work on top of the usual cooking, cleaning, shopping etc that goes with a family Christmas.
In addition I buy all of the presents- I’ve tried leaving it to DH but I have learned from experience that a few days before Christmas he’ll pester me for help and I can’t deal with the last minute stress. On top of that my DM and DMIL keep asking me to buy my family (including myself) presents from them which they will reimburse which is very generous but it massively adds to my to do list. Plus graves to be decorated, relatives to visit, food to buy and no fun Christmas parties because got no friends or family my age. The sour cherry on top of everything the bloody train strikes are keeping my DD at the other end of the country this week 🙁

So im down with flu since yest. Leaving dp to handle the dc. House is now a shit tip since yest. So hiding in bed. Everything fucking hurts. Everytime i try to puke my nosebleeds. Not finished christmas shopping and now likely wont be out this week to sort it. Reluctant to order anything else online cos strikes etc. Ah well better getting ill now than over christmas.

Moody teens in this house too!! Only put our tree up today, been a hideously stressful 5 weeks, I’m utterly exhausted and had a complete meltdown this evening and locked myself in the bathroom just so I could spiral without taking out a few casualties. Absolutely shite run-up to a season that I actually love.

I don’t really get why it’s still so stressful compared to years ago.
My grandmother had nine children and a husband away in the war. Aside from all the manual jobs looking after them she also worked part time. At Christmas she shopped paid for and cooked the cake, pudding and mince pies from scratch as well as every other meal. My father and his siblings all had presents without help from Amazon.. My granny knitted proper clothes and blankets in her “ spare” time. Good job too and the 40’s saw some of the coldest winters on record.
Thats stress.

But regardless of that, the reality is it’s bloody nightmare now.There’s still so much to do and even with a budget I’m haemorrhaging money.

I'm a single parent, exDP refuses to contribute financially but still expects to be hosted on Christmas Day. Both DD and I have had a chest infection and are still not over it, so she's potentially going to miss her nativity this week (her first one). I'm also worried about Strep A as a kid in her class has it.

I'm almost broke, not paid for another week, and I still have a work's Christmas dinner to pay for.

I've got a pile of Christmas presents to send to family who live in my old home town, the postage for which I can't afford. They all drive but never come to visit. So Christmas will largely be spent alone with DD, or with my ex.

The New Year is going to see me contacting Step Change to manage my debt, so I'm dreading my credit rating going down the toilet - I've also finally acknowledged the fact I'm never going to get on the property ladder, so Christmas will always be in rented houses where I'm not allowed to decorate the walls with anything.

I've just discovered that part of my work Secret Santa is not in my desk drawer where I was convinced I had left it, but is probably in my car 20 miles away. The party is tonight. I have come up with a plan for a replacement, but it is going to make my lunch (half)hour a bit chaotic... I normally drive but came into work on the bus this morning due to the snow (two and a half hours rather than 45 minutes!) making everything a bit more complicated...

@Dreamwhisper when my teens were little, and they just weren't sure what to believe, I told them that everyone in the world is allowed to believe in whatever makes their heart the happiest. I told them that I believed in FC because it makes me happy so if FC makes them happy then they can believe that too. If some children are happy believing otherwise then that's also ok. There is just so much pressure on these little souls to believe one way or another so I just let my children decide for themselves. I've taken the same approach with religion, or lack thereof... whatever makes your heart happy.

My DH is incredibly generous. He keeps buying more and more stuff. No thought about the millions of plastic tat we've got in the house already ( the majority Preloved, but still takes up space), where to keep it before the big day, how much time it'll take to wrap and sort it, or how much other stuff I've already got to do. I had a terrible bug over the weekend and I'm not 100%, the way we balance work and childcare means I have one day to do everything including getting the house ready for my mum to stay. Lo is 2 so it's the first time she's really aware of what's going on, so I want it to be special but I can't hear "you are so mmuch better at wrapping/decorating/whatever than me." I haven't got gifts for a few people have no money(because of the bug) and no time to do it in.