Grrrr so pissed at Husband!

[ITSSSSCHRISTMASSS]

He forgot the Elf’s last night. He remembered this morning after his alarm went off so grabbed the Elf’s from DDs beds and quickly set them up. But, my oldest was awake and saw him. She came home from school upset, I didn’t see her this morning. Anyway she now no longer believes in the Elf’s or Santa 😢 She’s 10 and I knew I’d have to tell her before high school, but I was hoping she’d have this year. She’s my real magical believer, I honestly don’t think my others will care but this DD is so naturally innocent, she’s been sobbing away in my arms for ages 😭

Agree elf stuff is commercial rubbish, but each to their own!
But re your reaction, have you been looking for something to have a go at your husband for?

This.

How is this LOB still up?

Indeed....and you're on this thread as well. 🤔

10??!!!

You should have told her about it all before now 🥴

Children getting injured and killed makes you feel better? Ok then...

Poor thing 😥

Also, I really feel for all the children who have the horrible posters as parents 🥺

Jeez. DS(6) told us two weeks he'd worked out it was us. We just confirmed it, made sure he knew not to tell his little sister and that was it. Zero drama or cheesy weirdness.

Well said.

I was just thinking that no egit had mentioned the war yet!

LTB_ but to be clear, that's the advice I'd give your husband as if you've got as angry as you say over this, then your marriage is doomed.

Agh OP, that's annoying. We constantly forget about the bastard elves. Youngest is 9 & still believes in all she can. Take the joy in life where you can & take her out to a coffee shop or for a treat if you can & do all the magic is in you business. Then get home & have a large drink for yourself & ignore all the grinches on here

Thanks and thank you to all the others with positive comments. I knew there would be negative ones but I’m just ignoring those.

She’d obviously been bottling it up all day and I think it was the final straw in a shitty week for her. We’ve had to go into school about a bigger child pushing her to the ground several times this week, so when she found out the truth everything just came exploding out of her.

I always knew telling her would be hard, she loves the whole magic feeling, like your DD writes notes & she saved her last couple of months worth of The Phoenix so she could read them with the Elf’s. There have been odd questions in the past but she’s been easily pleased with my responses.

I asked her if her friends still believe but apparently they don’t talk about it in school. In her class anyway. The have an Elf on the Shelf which apparently they all love and no one has said he’s not real.

She’s a lot happier now, we talked about St Nicholas being a real person and when he died others took up his mantle and would treat children to gifts and over the centuries it’s become what it is today that most parents buy their DCs gifts. I think the clincher was knowing what my 8yo dd is getting for Christmas, she’s excited she knows. And she’s now chief Elf michife maker!

I’ve also told her I’ve been waiting for her to find out as I need help shopping for and wrapping presents. So she’s looking forward to helping me in the future.

I had to go out for a couple of hours but have come back to a 1001 questions, but all positive.

My child has sobbed on me over various things through his life but never over anything as daft as this. When he found out he was a bit annoyed with me for making it up and got over it immediately. Big feelings are human but indulging them over silly things doesn't help children become mature and resilient. Of course I've sobbed over relationships ending but this is absolutely not equivalent to that!

Have just read OP's update and the sobbing was clearly NOT about the elf or Father Christmas at all. Glad it's resolved and she's fine about it now :)

She is now chief elf mischief maker

Your DH pulled a blinder there 😂

Gosh, some horrible people on this thread. And emotional resilience comes from empathy, not some of the responses I’ve seen here. If you can’t vent on an anonymous internet forum, then what’s the point of it existing? 😃

Oh wow. Drama. She’s ten. She’ll probably live. I’m sort of surprised she still believed a plastic elf moved itself overnight into a variety of ludicrous positions. And that a fat guy brought presents. But I was a naturally suspicious child and the youngest of four. I went investigating at four and learnt the truth. And I was not surprised by what my sleuthing unearthed. 🤷‍♀️

Ha! Clever man. Doesn’t have to move the bullshit elf anymore or peddle the Santa stuff to a kid about to go to high school.

For the negative comments and a positive update,

(pasted as I didn’t want to rewrite)
This weekend I had the opportunity to talk to many parents and teachers from my DDs school. One parent with Yr7, Yr6 & Yr4 children said all his children 100% believed. Both him and his wife had been discussing whether to tell their 12yo or wait till after Christmas, no SEN or other issues and both parents primary school teachers. Although their oldest is in high school, it apparently hasn’t come up.

Two other parents of YR6 children asked me to make sure my DD did NOT tell their children. My DDs Yr6 teacher, the School councillor and HT also said many many year 6s believe and it’s not as talked about in schools as parents think. One parent I don’t actually get on with almost pleaded with me to make sure my DD didn’t say anything. Given her DD is in the main Yr6 clique I was actually surprised as I suspected most of that Clique knew ( purely because they always seem more “mature” and care more about fashion than toys) absolutely my bad! But obviously not.

I remember finding out a lot younger and being upset. I knew this DD would be more upset than I was, because that’s her nature. I was also taught crying was a sign of weakness, I’ve taught my children they can react how ever they want, everything is right and acceptable as long as it’s able to be eventually controllable. I’ve never taught my children to shy away from crying or hide their emotions like I was.

MY DD was upset on Friday but far happier now. Am I still pissed at DH, fuck yes, because I know he forgot because he was to busy playing his PS5. I have no problems with his games but the Christmas Elf’s come from fucking first (inside joke and humour)! But i will admit, him and DD have done pretty well this weekend!

p.s
there were some comments about creepy plastic faced elf’s, until last year we were plastic free and only plush elf’s.

Your daughter sounds so sweet OP and I'm glad she's been cheered up

I do worry though in general for DC these days that perhaps we put a bit too much effort into making FC appear real?

I must have been really young when my brother showed me some presents my mum had hidden in the garage. I think I remember feeling a bit perturbed but mainly in case I got in trouble for seeing them? Pretending you haven't seen something is quite a burden for a small child!

I always remember being so so excited at the sack of presents. I don't have any memories at all of truly believing it was FC; in fact I remember a neighbour dressing up as FC and just finding the whole thing really intimidating.

I've purposely never put too much effort into it, we don't do the elf etc. I believe my DD already knows because she is close friends with a girl who it sounds like it has been explained to her that FC isn't real (they're 6/7 now). However children have a keen ability to suspend disbelief so while I'm in no rush to tell her, I don't want to focus too much effort into keeping up the illusion.

I actually love the first half of this! I hate the second half though about saving the woman on the subway.

I think it's a good and nice way to explain to children in the transitional age though, I just get a sense that "proving" he really was a real person in some aspect helps a bit.

I will certainly be gently explaining to my DC when the time comes about the origins, the spirit, the traditions etc.

OP ignore the grunch misers, christmas is such a magical time and there are those who haven't worked it out by age 4 🙄 and there are children who will sob when they find out because some children just do.... They don't need to be SEN.

You talking to to school parents/teachers shows this very fact.

I hope you and your daughter have a fabulous Christmas, just because she doesn't believe in Santa, does not mean she can't believe in the magic of Christmas. I still do, my kids too.

I would recommend Klaus if you have not seen it, it kinda brings together the whole story and me and my kids love watching it.