Will a toddler notice or care if we skip Christmas?

[Inyournewdress]

I am really not feeling up to creating Christmas at the moment for various reasons. If I just skip it and don’t decorate etc this year will a 20mo care or even notice? I am thinking probably not. On Christmas Day we will visit a relative and she will have a few presents.

They won't notice but you will feel it.
Try and do something nice.
Christmas isn't about expensive gifts. Wrap anything up, sweets, socks, crayons the fun will be opening it. Enjoy spending the day together.

Maybe you could get a little tree and a stocking with a few gifts. But snuggling under a blanket listening to you read some stories and maybe watch some Christmas films specifically for this age group will be nice. It will mean you won’t feel guilty (not that you should be) when reflecting back or hearing what other families did.

Go low key. It wasn’t long ago that this was Christmas in its entirety for children of all ages, not elves on shelves, North Pole Breakfasts, Loads of trips, expensive advent calendars. Just a tree, a few little gifts and hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.

Keep it a “snuggly” restful Christmas and you will probably enjoy it more than you think.

Are you depressed? Please see your GP. You should make an effort for your child. You can buy 3 presents - a crayon and a colouring book set and a box of maltesers and a satsuma from your local newsagent!

What??? "making an effort" = buying random stuff??

Maybe if you'd said "go for a walk round some local christmas lights" or "snuggle up and watch a christmas cartoon together" that might be vaguely helpful.

OP - Stickman, Timmy Time or Shaun the Sheep christmas programmes are all v easy to watch with a little one and hope you get through it as best you can.

She MIGHT notice... shes going to notice others that are but she doesnt understand what to expect.

I would honestly wack up a few decorations (not a winter wonderland but some tinsle or even just the tree if you can) and buy a couple gifts/wack a few things in a stocking. Either this or possibly next is the year thats going to form her understanding and excitement for future xmases.

@Chocolateteabag
The child will need a present!

What she might notice is the lack of pics from that year in the future. And you miss out starting some lovely traditions with her. She won't miss it but you will. You only get so many christmas days with them. Maybe try something low key?

Maybe just pick the bits that will make your life easier. As others have said, toddlers usually love the lights. Luckily other people quite happily provide light displays for you at Christmas. So a walk around to look at other people’s lights could be as much as you need or want to do. 😁

it’s your Christmas and you can do whatever suits you!

But, the more important thing is: are you OK?

Not necessarily. Not everyone celebrates Christmas. There’s no law that says the child needs a present on 25th December.

Reassure yourself that entire communities of people in the UK don't celebrate Chriatmas at all, and their children grow up perfectly fine.

At 20months, she probably won't notice anyway.

Entire communities of people in the UK don't celebrate Christmas at all, and their children grow up fine.

At 20 months, she's unlikely to think much of it because she has nomemory of previous Christmases to compare it to.

Even if they are doing something at nursery or she sees things in the shops, 20 months is far too small to be thinking why hasn't mum done it at home.

Just do whatever helps you get through the days. Be kind to yourself and give your DD lots of cuddles.

FWIW we barely did Christmas one year when the DC were small due to illness and injury. They are certainly not scarred for life.

Sorry for double post.

She won't. At this age I decorated my house with Christmas themed helium balloons because he would have spent the whole time pulling the tree down on top of him and putting things in his mouth.
He doesn't remember it.
You could do a few of the easier things just to feel festive though...music, kids Christmas films, looking at the Christmas lights.
Most kids don't "need" all of the stuff we tie ourselves up in knots over anyway.

Every day is Christmas for a toddler if they get cuddles and they feel loved. A few pressies is the icing on the cake. I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. Sending hugs x

This is unhelpful and judgemental.

In fact, there’s an advantage in that she’s exactly the right she to simply appreciate other people’s lights or things that she sees at the shops or whatever without having any expectation that these things might be happening in her house. There’s no need yo
explain any of it.

She can just enjoy it if she spots some shiny stuff in asda or if the neighbours have interesting flashing lights on their hedge. These things just are when you’re 20 months.

No. She needs a mama who is looking after herself, much, much more. Hope you are able to give yourself the break you need.

Thank you so much everyone that has taken the time for comment. We have a whole host of issues going on, I am not really ok but I am doing my best to get there for my little girl.

Actually all your lovely comments have really helped me get some perspective and take off the pressure. I am going to try and reframe it and instead of setting unrealistic expectations I am going trying to do a special time for her that will feel as much as possible right for us. I feel better for all your kindness. Thank you xx

@TheYummyPatler
Oh come on. Please. Don't be pedantic. We aren't talking about other religions who don't celebrate Christmas here. We are talking about a mum asking if her very young dc will notice if she doesn't do anything. I recommend one present, to unwrap. You think that's unreasonable?

@carefulcalculator

It's not judgmental at all. Op is having a hard time of it. She might very well need GP support. It is infact the very thing we should be suggesting to her, as a caring thread.

And hopefully she will feel better. And do something, anything, make a snowflake chain, a stocking with a satsuma in it, a present. Something.

I'm not being judgmental. I'm trying to help.

Op update. Good. Hope you feel better. You don't need to do anything major. No one needs tonnes of decorations everywhere. You don't need a tree. Just a little something is enough.

If you do something, at this age, it's for you. So do whatever makes it nice for YOU.

You'll have many future years to stress about presents and if they have something to unwrap or not!

Na not at 20 months, next year is the real start of understanding Christmas, older 2 year olds at Christmas are great fun.

If you can manage it I would probably try to do a small stocking, a bit of chocolate and a couple of small toys, if for no other reason than an hour's peace Christmas morning!

Huh? How patronising. Obviously there is - that’s why OP has posted. It might not be her shit to sort.