Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Practical, cost conscious lady. Ideas please!

98 replies

Overreactionpossibly · 29/11/2022 20:27

I am looking for any good ideas for my auntie. She is absolutely wonderful and treats us all so well but is also so difficult to buy for.
She is early 60s, very practical and quite frugal (this doesn't seem like quite the right word but I can't think of a better one.)
She has enough money to buy the things that she would like but also doesn't buy things for the sake of having them.
Lots of her things are from charity shops, not because she is tight but because she prefers not to overpay but still have decent quality. In the same way she would be upset at the thought of someone over paying for a gift for her so higher end labels are a bit lost on her.

In the past a heated throw, hats/scarves/gloves, PJ's, books and DVDs have been appreciated but it's getting to the point that that's ALL I EVER buy her.
She gardens, but has everything that she needs for that.

Food would not go down well. She is quite a basic cook so no gadgets.

She doesn't have or want WiFi so an Alexa etc is out.
She has loads of jewellery and doesn't really do smellies.

To make it trickier we have agreed to a £20 per person limit.
I would love to get her something that she really likes that it also useful. (the heated throw fell into this category and she loved it)

Any ideas would be wonderful. I am really struggling for her and don't want to buy something crap for the sake of it.

Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Overreactionpossibly · 30/11/2022 10:06

@BIWI
I mean that she has struggled to find something that she wants to spend the vouchers on.
Maybe they were the wrong type of vouchers - next, m&s etc but I can't think of anywhere else that she would prefer.

It's not that she would prefer not to have gifts, I'm sure of that. Its just finding the right gift.

OP posts:
TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:16

Got it!

If she doesn’t already have it … You can give a two month subscription to National Theatre at Home for £19.98.

Obvs we all prefer being in the auditorium, but it’s winter, and somehow our brilliant government has turned the use of cars, trains, tube into endurance sport. And you have said she enjoys going to performances with you. What better than cosying up with a streamed theatre performance together? No billion ££ per litre fuel, no freezing platform and strangely invisible train, no desperate pleading with taxis while guards guard the locked tube station gates. Do rather wish someone would give me this …

TerraNostra · 30/11/2022 10:22

Garden centre vouchers- for buying bulbs, bedding plants, seasonal window. Ox flowed etc, the type of thing that have to be renewed every year and which definitely make the garden look nicer. Eg she could spend on a pre-planted hanging basket if not into complicated gardening.

I get garden centre vouchers from my inlaws every year and love them as in my mind I feel that buying plants is a bit of an extravagance, yet I love having them.

TerraNostra · 30/11/2022 10:22

Box flowers, not "ox flowed!"

Original poster
Overreactionpossibly · 30/11/2022 10:29

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:16

Got it!

If she doesn’t already have it … You can give a two month subscription to National Theatre at Home for £19.98.

Obvs we all prefer being in the auditorium, but it’s winter, and somehow our brilliant government has turned the use of cars, trains, tube into endurance sport. And you have said she enjoys going to performances with you. What better than cosying up with a streamed theatre performance together? No billion ££ per litre fuel, no freezing platform and strangely invisible train, no desperate pleading with taxis while guards guard the locked tube station gates. Do rather wish someone would give me this …

That would be lovely. But she doesn't have WiFi

OP posts:
TerraNostra · 30/11/2022 10:33

How does she function without the internet? It's needed for so much basic life admin these days.

Original poster
Overreactionpossibly · 30/11/2022 10:37

TerraNostra · 30/11/2022 10:33

How does she function without the internet? It's needed for so much basic life admin these days.

She can access some things through her phone but comes to my or my mum's house for us to help her with most things.

It's just not her thing. However much I have tried to encourage it for streaming services and the like. 😂

OP posts:
TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:47

So she does have a smart phone? For complicated reasons I often have to run my laptop using the unlimited data I have for my phone. It’s completely simple and unproblematic and I’ve watched about a trillion hours of streamed TV / Netflix / Now etc, etc over the past few years without broadband.

I think you should try again to persuade her on this. It seems more important than any Christmas gift. I hate the thought of anyone of my own age, in the UK, without full and independent access to the internet. ‘Not her thing’ simply isn’t good enough. She could live another 40 years - there’s plenty of time ahead when she may need help with stuff (as we all will) but it seems perverse to position oneself as helpless at such a young age.

(Assuming no cognitive difficulty?)

Talipesmum · 30/11/2022 10:48

If she likes the garden looking nice but isn’t a hobby gardener, then a pre-planted nice planter thing with hyacinths, foliage, violets etc is a good idea - just pop it out on the patio or by the front door and ta dah!

we got a similar person a little bird house nesting box, no effort needed and she could watch the bluetits go in and out all spring.

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:51

we got a similar person a little bird house nesting box, no effort needed and she could watch the bluetits go in and out all spring.

Blimmin’ heck - she sounds about 120 years old! My DM is in her nineties and would give me this look Hmm if I tried to fob her off with anything so passive. She’d far rather be quarrelling with the news on her iPad.

Talipesmum · 30/11/2022 10:52

Oh, and this would either be a great idea or terrible depending, but I’ve bought older female relatives (and me!) things from here and they’ve been much appreciated:

radicalteatowel.co.uk

Talipesmum · 30/11/2022 10:54

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:51

we got a similar person a little bird house nesting box, no effort needed and she could watch the bluetits go in and out all spring.

Blimmin’ heck - she sounds about 120 years old! My DM is in her nineties and would give me this look Hmm if I tried to fob her off with anything so passive. She’d far rather be quarrelling with the news on her iPad.

You don’t have to be 120 years old to like looking at birds in the garden!! We have one too!
And OP said she doesn’t have wifi etc so probably wouldn’t rather be quarrelling with the news on “her iPad”.
My mum, mid 70’s, manages to both love birdwatching in her garden and out and about, and her tablet / kindle / phone / social media etc. They’re not mutually exclusive or preserve of the passive!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 30/11/2022 10:59

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 10:51

we got a similar person a little bird house nesting box, no effort needed and she could watch the bluetits go in and out all spring.

Blimmin’ heck - she sounds about 120 years old! My DM is in her nineties and would give me this look Hmm if I tried to fob her off with anything so passive. She’d far rather be quarrelling with the news on her iPad.

We inherited a nesting box when we moved into this house in our early 30s. We can see it from the lounge and get inexplicably excited waiting to see if we get blue tits nesting each year then watching them fledge. Even my super active, super sporty DH who I wouldn't expect to enjoy something like that. So I wouldn't write the idea off!

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 11:10

@Talipesmum I know birdwatching can be great fun - but you made it sound the preserve of an ancient person who can do nothing else!

a similar person
a little bird house
no effort needed

Obviously it would sound more exciting if described differently.

Original poster
Overreactionpossibly · 30/11/2022 11:32

She does like watching the birds but has a multitude of bird feeders, bee houses and feeders around the garden. I'm trying to remember what her bird bath is like though as that could be a nice idea.

The WiFi is a no go. She just doesn't see what she would use it for which is entirely up to her. I'm not going to force it on her and I don't see why 'not her thing' simply isn't good enough to be honest.

Someone asked about food, she doesn't eat sweet things at all, only really drinks when she is with me and my mum and often gives us booze that she has been bought by others.
Cheese and things would be ok as an extra something but she wouldn't want loads.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 30/11/2022 11:36

Hot chocolate or nice tea or coffee? Even posh cordial

If she doesn’t have streaming services what about The Crown on dvd or sone other show you think she’d like

Talipesmum · 30/11/2022 11:37

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 11:10

@Talipesmum I know birdwatching can be great fun - but you made it sound the preserve of an ancient person who can do nothing else!

a similar person
a little bird house
no effort needed

Obviously it would sound more exciting if described differently.

I said that because the OP said the relative wanted the garden to be nice to look at but wasn’t a “dedicated gardener” - so it was a “here’s something that can be very engaging and nice but you don’t have to be forever putting effort in to cleaning it out / topping it up / watering it etc” if you’re not spending hours out in the garden each day. If she was more into gardening or that sort of thing, I might have suggested bird feeders or tables or something where you had to be more involved. But if you don’t know how much effort someone wants to put in, then an easy option is a good suggestion? And I said I’d got it for a “similar person” (aged around 60’s - not 120) described the “little bird house” cos it was small, and said “no effort” in case they weren’t out in the garden a lot. You’re reading too much into it!

Talipesmum · 30/11/2022 11:39

Sorry - I’m being defensive cos the 60+ year old women in my life are very busy interesting people who have a full range of things they like, and I don’t like the implication I am thinking of them all as passive nobodies!

TottersBlankly · 30/11/2022 11:47

You’re reading too much into it!

Probably! Grin (Very sorry, not trying to stress you out.)

Oh, well, OP - of course you can’t force her. It’s just the sort of thing that makes other women in their 60s a bit restive. Our generation invented the Internet, after all …

badgermushrooms · 30/11/2022 11:49

If she's thrifty might she be up for some eco reusable things, like waxed cloth sandwich wraps etc?

tinselvestsparklepants · 30/11/2022 12:07

I am turning into your auntie. I hate stuff for the sake of it. Get something lovely but consumable. Food. Nicer than usual cooking oil or coffee. A book. Or really decent soap. But something she can use up, because part of it for me is about environmental issues, though I don't say that out loud so often, and at that age no one wants extra unused stuff.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 30/11/2022 12:15

Reusable shopping bag
Umbrella

ISeeTrees · 30/11/2022 12:26

I've read your posts OP but not all of them so this may have already been suggested but what about a fake Oodie if the heated throw went down well?
I've seen them in Primark/Supermarket/Dunelm etc for less than £20 (just- about 18 seems to be the rate for adult ones).

ISeeTrees · 30/11/2022 12:27

To clarify, I meant I've read your posts but not all of the replies to the thread!