What to get 10yo ds to "balance" 12yo finally getting a phone?

[Gubu]

Santa will be bringing the 12 yo the phone she has been pining for (in reality its her uncle's old phone and a sim card, but she won't care as long as its hers!). 10yo ds also really wants a phone but alas for him, that's two years away. I don't want him disappointed on Christmas morning but equally have zero ideas what to get him. He has an xbox (shared), a laptop and a tablet. I'd prefer not to get a switch as he'd spend his life on a screen if allowed. He has asked for a better scooter which is fine and a chess board. Need something a bit wow, if anyone has ideas.

Is there an experience he would really like to do?

I think an experience day too or go karting/laser quest for him and a mate?

I think you're unlikely to get him a surprise that is better than the thing he really wants. I'd just make sure you make it absolutely clear to him that he isn't getting it so he's not disappointed on the day.

An experience day is a good idea though not that much fun on the day when big sis is playing with her new phone!

It's probably a bit late now but I wouldn't balance it at all. I'd tell him that he'll get one when it's his turn/he's the right age. It's a sensible precedent to set for both of them

Get him the switch!

This. Make it crystal clear in advance that the phone will come when he's 12 so that he's not too disappointed on the day.

He absolutely knows he's not getting a phone until he's 12. It's been a firm rule for both of them since they were old enough to ask. But I know he'll be at least a bit wistful and I don't think Christmas morning is a time for learning lessons so I'd like to get him something that will at least ease it a bit. I'll see what experience days are available, thanks for that idea.

I'd also get him the switch

A phone but with no sim For games etc

Yeah I'd say the switch too, and just monitor the time he spends on it.

Would he like tickets to see his favourite team playing? A special day out.

Ah it's a tough one. I guess one way around it would be not to give it as a Christmas present. You could present it as "your 12 now and we think you are grown up enough to have a phone".

TBH, I wouldn't give the phone as a Christmas present. I would just give it, especially as it's a hand me down and given it presumably comes with significant strings attached in terms of use, downloads, supervision etc. i would give it as a "now you are old enough, you need this for walking to school" etc.

Then get them both something smaller for Christmas.

He wants a scooter and a chess board.
There...done.
(I'd say a scooter is pretty wow)

Nooooo, the 12yonwoll be fucking pissed off.

I wouldn’t give the phone for Christmas either, I’d have done it for a birthday. Otherwise I think the 10 year old will be disappointed regardless. Or I’d give them a switch.

Slightly better scooter than you had in mind?

You must be fun at parties

Isn’t a cool new scooter enough of a wow present? If not as others say a fun experience day like go carting.

I’d actually not give the phone as an Xmas gift.

I think it adds an extra big of excitement to the phone which isn’t necessary or required. If you remove the phone from Xmas it completely solves your problem.. the imbalance of the presents is only created by you giving such a ‘desirable’ item as an Xmas gift which adds even more hype. I’d give the phone on the 12th birthday which enforces your rule that it comes when you turn 12. Or I would give on an ordinary day and not make a fuss about it. Why do you specifically want to give it at Xmas?? I really think you’re adding extra hype to it thats not necessary and actually a bad idea… x

I think it's kind of unfair to your 12 yrs old who waited until 12 to get something she really wanted, yet her 10 yr old sibling is getting something that matches the excitement of phone just because you don't want him to get disappointed.

I wouldn’t give the phone for Christmas. I would give it as a 12th birthday present to mark the age each DC gets a phone.
Keep Christmas presents equal.

If he wants a scooter and a chess board and he gets them then he’s not going to feel disappointed on Christmas. He’ll be happy he got what he wants for Christmas.

Do you think that perhaps you are worried for nothing? It’s not a big deal unless you turn it into one.

I know someone who was the younger sibling who grew up quite entitled because their parents always played into the jealousy of older siblings getting this or that first and rewarded that behaviour by overcompensating.

I think that can be avoided by simply saying this is the age when you can have a phone and it applies to everyone in the family. That is fair.

I really don’t think that overcompensating for something like this is healthy.