What to get 10yo ds to "balance" 12yo finally getting a phone?

[Gubu]

Santa will be bringing the 12 yo the phone she has been pining for (in reality its her uncle's old phone and a sim card, but she won't care as long as its hers!). 10yo ds also really wants a phone but alas for him, that's two years away. I don't want him disappointed on Christmas morning but equally have zero ideas what to get him. He has an xbox (shared), a laptop and a tablet. I'd prefer not to get a switch as he'd spend his life on a screen if allowed. He has asked for a better scooter which is fine and a chess board. Need something a bit wow, if anyone has ideas.

I agree with pp about giving the phone to her on an ordinary day and not as a Christmas present (I’m presuming that if she is already 12 then it’s too late to give it on her birthday).

Digital or instant print camera? Some sort of Alexa / Google speaker?

Or a fit-bit style watch / fitness tracker? (lots of cheaper generic brands available if you don’t want to spend a fortune on a Fitbit).

Just give her the phone when she turns 12. If she’s already 12 just give it to her on a random day without a massive fuss. Just say you are old enough to have this now you are 12. Make Christmas Day less stressful. The phone isn’t a feature anymore.

I wouldn’t be giving the phone as a present either.

Ofherwise how does the 12yr old feel about knowing they didn’t get something of similar desire and value when they were 10?

A few years ago, DD1 had an iPod as her main present, but the toys we got for DD2 actually overshadowed it, and made us question if the iPod was actually the best gift for her!

I agree with other posters and wouldn't give the phone for Xmas.

We did phones 11th birthday so they were ready for secondary school. Also younger dc knew that that's when they'd get theirs so had no issues.

Get him the switch

We didn't give the phone as a Christmas present. 11th birthday for the oldest last year and our 9 year old will also have to wait 2 years till he can have his on his 11th birthday and he's accepted that.

Give phone for bday instead, then there's no direct comparison

Im baffled why 12?

By 12 only 1 kid in DS class didnt have a phone and he regularly got mocked for it (I was actually quite shocked how much of a big deal the other kids made it into).

I had a phone at 8 back in the 90's, it was a safety device so I could call home/help in an emergancy, they are litrally practical items to own and if anything it strange now to be pretty much in your teens before getting one.

They dont have to be fancy my DS first one cost £12 from carphone wearhouse (the pixi phone) and even now at 14 with a much fancier bells and whistles samsung he still only really uses it for contacting us.

The kids all seem to 'chat' through the games console.

@mam0918 maybe 12 ready for secondary school (if the OP lives in Scotland then secondary starts at 12).

I would warn dc2 about dc1 getting a phone and dc2 not getting a phone so he's not annoyed on the day. I also wouldn't balance things out. When dc2 is 12 they will get the wow gift of an phone and that's fine imo. I would tell dc2 that it's not fair if they get milestone gifts 2 years before dc1. Dc2 may be annoyed but has time to deal with the fact that you are sticking to your guns.

I have 3 kids and sometimes the financial costs of gifts is unbalanced eg my kids get a car for 17th birthday. It balances out in the long term so I don't feel guilt.

If you give phones as gifts and it’s related to age, then the actual birthday is the obvious day to give it on. Then the sibling gets his 2 years later also on a his birthday. If the birthday has gone, I still wouldn’t give the phone for Xmas if it may upset the sibling. Yes, he’ll get one soon but that don’t help much.

If you go go ahead with it, then I’d get your son the switch.

won’t

I agree, phone for birthday not for Christmas - especially as it's a 2nd hand one.

Go with the switch. I got one between my two boys a few years ago (and more recently they got an xBox to share) then games, case etc. the Switch has great parental settings making it easier to set time limits & monitor them via an app. It's also quite family friendly with games everyone can enjoy. (The xBox is a whole other kettle of fish!)

I agree I was also going to say to not give it on Xmas day. The only time I gave phones on Xmas was when mine were 15 and 14 and were both getting new ones which was a first as they’d always had old hand me downs.

I wouldn't give anything extra just remind them that when they're 12 they'll get a phone too. A scooter is a pretty wow gift anyway

What sort of phone is it as a second hand phone doesn’t really = a switch does it

Don't give the phone as a Christmas present. Give the two of them gifts of similar (lower) value to wach other. Separately and not on Christmas day the 12yo gets "provisional custody" of the phone along the lines of - this is not a Christmas present. This remains our (mum &dad's) property which we can and will take away if it is misused. It's not a toy, it's a communication tool and only responsible and mature people can be trusted with it."

And confirm to 10yo that his turn will come when he is 12.

This is what I was going to say.

If the phone isn't a gift, and it remains your property you can remove it if it isn't used sensibly. She can own her phone when she can pay for it herself.

They both get one Christmas present they want on Christmas Day. I wouldn't get a 10yo an experience as a Christmas gift. At that age it's still exciting to rip the paper off a shiny new scooter.

Lots of people saying don't give the phone for Christmas, but maybe the only way the OP could afford to get the phone was from the Christmas budget. Not giving the phone for Christmas would then mean spending more money to get the 12yo a Christmas present to replace the phone. Just because it's her uncle's old phone, doesn't mean it was free.

Of course if the phone was just given by her uncle for free, then yeah just give it on a random day and not as a Christmas gift.