My OH hates Christmas, how do I enjoy it?

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Hi everyone

With the manky weather we are having I have started thinking about Christmas. My OH absolutely hates Christmas due to events in his childhood. I LOVE Christmas though but last years ended up being ruined so I would like to plan some lovely activities just for me to enjoy it this year.

Going away wont be an option unfortunately so I was thinking something like booking a day off work early December to indulge in Christmas movies all day but my ideas are a bit lame so does anyone have any other ideas they would like to share please?

I absolutely love Christmas and my dh isn't too fussed. So I just carry on without him.
I like to do some Christmas baking, make a Christmas wreath.
Christmas movies with the kids, but obviously on your own is fine too if you don't have children.
You could read some Christmas themed books in December.
Buy yourself a really lovely advent calendar, a nice treat every day, even if it's not very expensive, I had a pukka tea one which was nice.
My dd makes a Spotify Christmas playlist and that's on in the car all the time.
Can you tell I love Christmas 😂

You can do events that are Christmassy but not overtly so?

for example, we’ve started going to the zoo on Xmas eve to see the penguins, or going to chatsworth house which is xmassy, but has nice markets.

Book a day off work to watch Xmas movies and wrap presents whilst drinking wine.

compromise on Xmas movies? Die hard and frozen aren’t properly Christmassy but close enough.

Christmas baking

Good ideas guys, thanks! Yeah I dont need to watch the movies with him there thats true. I am starting to collect some Christmassy books too if anyone has any suggestions? The only trouble is, I tend to read them at this time of year as well if the weather is crap!

Love the advent calendar idea!

We both love Christmas dinner but I might suggest moving it to a different day as I think he might prefer that.

Visit a Christmas market. Go to a Christingle and/or carol service. I also like to go into town or for a drive around to see the Christmas lights and hopefully catch the Salvation Army playing. Make up a small Christmas hamper and leave it on a doorstep. Pantomime. Remind your husband that as an adult you get to make Christmas what you want it to be.

I book a day off early December to go shopping, in peace, on my own! Most stuff I buy on line but it's still nice to have a look around the shops / market stalls.

I then book another day off as a wrapping day so it's all done and I don't have a Christmas eve panic.

This will be the first year we don't go to a Father Christmas thing, kids are too old now but we will go ice skating, Tower of London is great if it's on. We used to do to Disney on Ice as well, but they've outgrowing that so thinking we might make the Jingle Bell Ball a tradition for a few years - until they get too old to be seen out in public with their mother!

We always go for a drive on Christmas Eve to look at the lights and then come home, watch Home Alone and have a chinese.

I LOVE christmas.

What sort of things did you used to do before you met him? Could you do some of those things again

For me, all the fun of Christmas is in Advent. Making a wreath, decorating a Christmas Cake or Gingerbread House, putting up the tree, going to Carols by Candlelight, having mulled wine at Christmas markets, stopping to listen to Sally Army brass bands in shopping centres.

I make a mini bucket list and do all the festive things I love - watching Christmas movies, making chocolate truffles, finding new lighting or decorations for the tree etc.

You could have friends over to have wreath or centrepiece- crafting session, Make mulled mine, have mince pies and everyone brings some greenery, berries, ribbons etc.

You could chat to your partner and say now he's adult, if he wants to turn Christmas around and make it fun, he can join in with any/all the things you love about it, but no pressure.

The only thing I would miss is a good stocking and tbh I'd rather buy myself half a dozen presents and put them in a stocking than not get one or get a crappy one from a Bah-humbug partner. Pick yourself up a great book, some lovely bath products, a really soft new tee shirt or pair of socks, some favourite food treats and then buy similar for him and load both stocking on Christmas eve. He might get the hang of it and do yours next year.

Do you have kids?

I'd find it very tiresome and self-indulgent of someone if they insisted on ruining everyone's Christmas fun every year just because they personally dislike it. Sometimes you need to stick a smile on and suck it up. Otherwise his kids will look back and say 'dad ruined Christmas for us every year'.

I definitely think you should book the day off and go into town for a browse, have a Christmas coffee and watch Christmas film when you get home.

Have a think of any new Christmassy things to do with your OH that have no triggers for past Christmases to start a fresh and make new Christmas memories so he can enjoy? Start off small with some of the suggestions on this thread.

Yes, I do think that answers will be different if there are, or are likely to be, children in the mix.

I’m not much of a Xmas fan. For me, having an OH start planning it in June would do my head in. So keep all this to yourself!

Ha ha yeah good shout, I definitely keep it to myself!

We don't have any kids so it's just about indulging my inner child! 😀

Same, I don't like Xmas either. My best friends LOVE Xmas and it annoys me but I try not to say anything. My one friend is already talking about decorations and xmas shopping. I have to bite my tongue not to say anything rude 😂

Ha! Put them in touch with me!

What brings you to the Christmas top in in June then?

I'm with @Honeyroar and am really not the biggest fan of Christmas. Nor is my DH and if one of us started planning it in June the other would think that they had gone stark staring bonkers.

We enjoy the day with our now grown up "children" but nobody starts planning it until December.

Not keen on winter time in general no matter what is going on. Too dark.

For me Christmas is all about going around festive garden centres and shops. Every year I chose 2-3 really nice glass decorations for my tree. Have a spot off lunch while out, hopefully catch a brass brand.

I love baking so some line and fill cookies look AMAZING and can easily take up 3-4 hours. Great to eat or to give as little individually wrapped gifts. Same with mince pies or fruit loaf.

I make myself a nice little hamper to open on the first of December. A new brushed cotton duvet, festive smelling shampoo, soap, conditioner, hot chocolate, candles, pjs and socks . I really look forward to it and it doesn't even matter that I've bought it all myself. It brings me pleasure

What’s your version of Christmas? I mean I love Christmas but if I were paired with someone who wanted to go to pantomimes, light up the house, sing carols at the neighbours and dress up as an elf I’d be a right grinch 😂

Nothing wrong with any of that, obviously, but Christmas means many different things.

On the other hand I love hosting and planning all the food, I love wrapping presents, and I always try to get to a carol service. Cold brisk walks, and seeing the season changes are a big part of it for me. I love making the house cosy and slowing down - getting the shopping delivered to avoid the crowds.

Is it possible that you might find some common ground, if you look at the rhythms of the time of year, and amplify the things that do appeal to him?

It popped up in active topics. I’ve no idea what section threads are in when I respond to a question.

DH isn't overly into Christmas but takes part in some activities for DC.

Usually I book a spa evening with my sister the day we finish for holidays (both work in education)

Garden Centre visit for festive walk with DC

Cinema visit with a friend

Meal Out with DH in lead up

Christmas movie night/day with festive coffees

A nice coffee and walk along sea front

Walk in local woods/Country Park

A good book and fluffy blanket

@devonianBiatch I love the hamper idea, I always do a Christmas box for the kids but think I'll do a hamper for myself this year

My DH isn't a Grinch but he can take or leave it
DS(22) is very much a Christmas Bah humbug and would rather I gave him a wedge of cash than presents -also has a December birthday. I have learned not to spend money on "things" but he gets a Dec1st Box with underwear,socks,pyjamas, loungewear , showergel and face treatments , dweets/chocolate . Otherwise he wouldn't buy new clothes ! (DD gets a Dec 1st Hamper , same idea)
I love buying the Hamper bits from October

DD and I are into Christmas (we make up for it)

On Dec 1st the Christmas Bedding goes on ( Nov 1st for DD ) . Christmas straws, toilet paper, handtowels, soap, kitchen dishtowels .showercurtain
Christmas mug for DD (she uses all year)

We have a night out in Nov/Dec
Choose a day to go shopping ( usually Bluewater/Lakeside)
We used to go to London on 23rd but obviously not in the last few years

We take over the TV and sofa and watch Last Christmas and Lost Christmas
I buy some Christmas magazines and hide them till after DS Birthday to sit at the table with coffee, toast and a mince pie

Mourn the lack of a Tree as our daft cats climb it

Just some nice , not OTT Christmas-ness

For books , Nigel Slaters Christmas Chronicles is a lovely book to dip into and either agree it's lovely or scorn Nigel , you're bonkers

Last year I booked a day off work mid week to go to a Christmas fair and lights trail at a stately home, that was a lovely day out. I had some good food, walked around the grounds, did a bit of shopping and they were playing Christmas songs etc

Would something like that appeal to you? It felt like a bit of a treat to do on my own on a day everyone was working and I took my time just pottering about.

Thanks everyone for such lovely ideas! I love the idea of taking some time off work and pottering around something like a stately home on my own, sounds lovely.

You lot are fab thank you!

Buy yourself The Christmas Chronicles by Nigel Slater. A lovely journal cum recipe book cum ode to nature/winter/Christmas. Now is a good time to buy because it’ll likely be much cheaper. There are journal entries from 1st November. Last year we had a read-along thread here in Nov-Dec which was really nice; we tried lots of the recipes and just talked about the book and our own appreciation of winter/Christmas/memories from childhood etc.