My OH hates Christmas, how do I enjoy it?

[Shgytfgtf111]

Hi everyone

With the manky weather we are having I have started thinking about Christmas. My OH absolutely hates Christmas due to events in his childhood. I LOVE Christmas though but last years ended up being ruined so I would like to plan some lovely activities just for me to enjoy it this year.

Going away wont be an option unfortunately so I was thinking something like booking a day off work early December to indulge in Christmas movies all day but my ideas are a bit lame so does anyone have any other ideas they would like to share please?

Love the zoo idea.

How does he spoil Christmas? I find it very sad that you can't have a nice Christmas with him.

My OH absolutely hates Christmas due to events in his childhood

Sadly that's probably shaped how he feels and it's difficult for him to have a complete change of view .

My DMum hated Christmas and the thought of any effort , but in truth she didn't do any of it . My Dad did the shopping , I cooked from about 9yo (or a family friend who stayed for Christmas)
She didn't decorate .
We got presents but I was jealous of friends who's parents made a "thing" of it , going shopping with them, cooking (this was the 80s it was lower key than now)
She'd say "My favourite day is Boxing Day .......when it's all over" and "I wish I could go to sleep and wake up after New Year"

So we didn't feel that we were worth any Christmas or any effort
My DH disliked NYE , family arguements , alcohol.

I made it my mission to have nice Christmases for my DC, lots of things planned , not ££ but keeping it all "behind the scenes" .
When I did the main food shop for Christmas DH took them to the cinema, I had 2 hours peace with my Nectar points
.

Totally,

I used to hate Christmas because it has some very traumatic memories attached, but once I had a kid I built new traditions and started taking joy in her experience of it.

Big bottle of Bacardi and a christmas box set. Merry Christmas and a happy new year x

See if there are any wreath making workshops in your area - I have found these really friendly and full of likeminded christmas lovers.

I agree with getting yourself an advent calendar!

I really enjoyed an audiobook of Winter Solstice by Rosamunde Pilcher last December - I'd probably have found it a bit cheesy at another time of year, but it was just lovely and welcoming.

Spend time on this forum - it is my go to whn I know dp will think it is too early to talk about Christmas! Always someone to talk to about Christmas here. Sometimes I search old threads for the ones about people's Christmas traditions because I find them lovely to read.

My DH doesn't really like Christmas and I love it. We also don't have any dc but my DH does like seeing me enjoy it IYSWIM, so it may be a bit different to your situation.

For me, I make sure I plan in some Christmas things I want to do (without him) and either skip or move things DH really doesn't like.

Throughout November and December I try to book a show with my sister/mum/friend, book a day off work to wander around town enjoying the lights and atmosphere before coming home and watching (cheesy hallmark) Christmas films with all the Christmas lights on, set aside time to decorate properly, I have a wrapping evening (films, rum, cheese board and wrapping presents), go to a Christmas market and arrange some catch ups with friends.

I keep my traditions - reading Xmas Factor (Annie Sanders) and A Christmas Carol, watching Home Alone 1&2, Miracle on 34th Street and The Santa Claus.
I watch Muppets Christmas Carol for my wrapping evening and Christmas Eve.
I do secret good deeds and give extra to charity. I spend an afternoon wrapping presents for my parents (me and dad wrap, mum feeds us).

My Christmas playlist is amazing and I have it playing (mostly through headphones) for a lot of November and December. It's especially nice because I'm quite crafty so if I'm sewing / knitting / crocheting I have noise but am not distracted.

For DH, I don't try and drag him along with me or push him to join in and in return he doesn't moan about new decorations or me being busy / out so much.
We also agreed no Christmas bedding (having nothing festive in the bedroom is his only request) and the only thing he really enjoys is a Turkey dinner so we go all out on that.

Also, I know you said going away isn't an option - is that for this year, the next few years or ever?
Asking as DH always pushed to go away and I always resisted but I gave in almost 10 years ago and now we go away every other year.
Away from home DH seems to enjoy things a bit more so if it can be an option at some point in the future I'd really encourage you to consider it.

I have slowly made inroads into DH over the years, but I know a lot of my magic is solo.

I do lots of decorations, like a swag down the stairs, when I can get away with it. But some years, I need to just have a fab tree.

I have nice candles in December that I light a lot.

I organise myself to go to various choral and orchestral concerts at lunchtimes or spread out over work evenings. Mostly solo, I might persuade Dh come to 1, or a couple of work friends to 1 lunchtime event near work.

Some years, Dh will get quite involved, but others he is Mr Scrooge (usually work is too busy for him).

I keep saying i will organise myself to get to a wreath making workshop or similar. But my work is usually very busy too.

I adore Christmas!!! Last year I admit that I booked too many things. DH whinged about coming with us 🤦🏼‍♀️ We had multiple Christmas events and activities every weekend in late November and December.

This year, I’m still decorating every room, but not cramming so much timed events in. Christmas music, Christmas films, Christmas bedding for DCs, cards sent and tree presents wrapped by 1st December. Then we’ll be toasty and warm and drink eggnog. I don’t even like eggnog, but I’m making it!! I’m so excited 😂

Thanks so much for all your replies everyone, theres some great advice and suggestions here! I will make sure to do lots of your suggestions and invite my OH to participate in anything he fancies with no pressure. Thanks again all!

Reading this has got me in the Xmas 🎄 spirit 😁 I’ve just ordered the Nigel Slater book too - thank you for the recommendation, I’m really looking forward to reading this and will try and hold off until November.

I love the Nigel Slater Christmas Chronicles , even this time of year I open it at a random page to read. There's some sad bits like when he talks about the last year they were all together as a family .
And some funny bits like the sifted icing sugar in the air.

Igo between 'nice spinach polenta' to 'are you mad Nigel?' at some of the recipes

😆 I love Nigel for his quirks - Can’t wait for it to arrive!