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Original poster

Do your under fives eat christmas dinner with you ? or not?

54 replies

filtered · 24/12/2007 21:54

dcs eat lunch at 12 then go to bed so am planning to do adult lunch for 1pm with the dcs who can have leftovers at 5pm but dh and pil say its very creuel but i wont get to eat relxed as will have to feed them both and look after guests etc
tell mei am not the only one doing this ?

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 24/12/2007 22:06

Here's an alternative suggestion to get you through the lunch in a stress free way.

You go and eat on your own leaving DP and PIL looking after the children.

Totally hassle free.

Washersaurus · 24/12/2007 22:06

I wouldn't say 'cruel', but maybe a tad 'lazy'...

(will that start a fight?)

FrannyandZooey · 24/12/2007 22:09

No don't worry filtered

you were just asking how other people do it, and I can see what you were thinking of

I think it would be ok to do what you first suggested, but you will probably all get more family enjoyment from it if you can swing it so the children eat with you

snowfunwhenyoureknackered · 24/12/2007 22:10

no cruel wasn't the right word

I meant selfish (sorry op)

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:10

I wouldn't wake up a child for the meal nor would I wait if it was all ready for them to wake up.

FrannyandZooey · 24/12/2007 22:11

oh god selfish!

god forbid that a mother should think of herself ON CHRISTMAS DAY OF ALL DAYS

ChasingSquirrelsUpTheXmasTree · 24/12/2007 22:11

of course they don't HAVE to.
Personally I would have thought the 3yo would be ok - but you know him and I don't.
With my ds1 he was with us for xmas dinner when he was 3mo (I seem to recall I was bf him as we ate) and I am pretty sure when he was 1y3m he started off with us, got grouchy and I put him to bed.
My ds2 is 23m and he will be with us tomorrow (and was last year) unless he wakes up really early and is knackered - in which case I will give him a scrambled egg and put him to bed earlier, although he usually just keeps going so I don't anticipate this will happen.
We eat together for most meals nearly every other day of the year, but our meal will be later than usual tomorrow, and if ds2 is too tired for that then so bit it.
It's not as if the meal itself is such an exciting thing for them.
I think the under 5's in your title is a bit misleading though, 2y+ and most kids would be fine.

Quattrocento · 24/12/2007 22:12

Oh and Filtered - don't get stressed about it - we all enjoy childfree meals more than meals with children - unless me and my friends are all unnatural mothers too - specially shouty tired bawling children - but you just gotta do it. It's christmas.

tassisssss · 24/12/2007 22:12

filtered, please don't feel awful.

they need to nap, you were doing what seemed right. i say stick with it. they're going to have a great day, there's the rest of their lives to learn about the dinner aspect of Christmas Day (which is really not a big deal for a 1 and 3 year old).

(and big pat on the back to you for getting them to nap at the same time, well done!)

wessexgirl · 24/12/2007 22:14

Your pils are OTT saying it's 'cruel' - obviously the dcs are hardly going to be scarred for life (or even two minutes) if they don't share your Christmas lunch.

But I would suggest you give it a go - mine were exactly the same ages as yours last year and it really wasn't that much hassle. Dd1 fed herself, and dd2 gave it a good go - I managed to scarf down my meal while it was still hot and give her the odd bit of help with the meat.

It's lovely to have everyone round the table - shame to miss out on that, imo. (And have a glass of wine before the meal if you're worried you won't be able to relax ).

HunkerGotLeprosyFromAFact · 24/12/2007 22:15

Yes, we eat with the children. They are 23m and 3.8yo. Trying to remember what we did when DS1 was younger though, because he was a morning napper and sometimes snoozed for three hours (or more...!). Think we just woke him up.

But all children are different - if yours need sleeps across mealtimes, work their mealtimes around it. If those mealtimes don't fit in with adult meals, which sometimes they won't, don't fret too much about it.

If the children are upset that they're missing out on lunch with you (and mine would be), that's a problem. If it's adults worrying on their behalf, meh.

Anchovy · 24/12/2007 22:15

Blimey, am well out of the majority here.

I am big on food, sociability, small children and tradition. BUT when mine were very small, we did what you did - gave the Dcs their lunch early (while we were having a sherry or whatever ), put them to bed, ate ourselves and then got them up at their normal time as we were finishing pudding.

My Dcs are now 4 and 6 and have been up and eating with us for a couple of years now but when they were your children's age I absolutely would and did what you do. Mine were foul if they missed their naps at that age, couldn't cope with eating an hour and a half later and really didn't do relaxed long lunches. Not an eating thing per se, as mine have always eaten anything and everything, but there is an age at which I really think it counter productive to have them there.

We now eat Christmas "lunch" at 6pm which fits in well with them - at 6 and 4 they will be pulling crackers, eating with a knife and fork and generally joining in the conversation, but we certainly weren't there 3 or so years ago.

Good luck!

wangle99 · 24/12/2007 22:16

We always eat with the children, if they needed a nap at lunch time I still would get them to eat with us I would work around it.

However, when I was younger and we used to have a big family meal, I was always put in charge of my cousins at a table in the kitchen and everyone else ate in the dining room (fairly open plan but still not in the same room).

still get cross when think about it now!

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:18

I actually don't thing there is anything wrong with being a bit selfish and lazy sometimes as a parent.

mumeeee · 24/12/2007 22:18

We all used to eat Christmas lunch together when my children were small.

mumeeee · 24/12/2007 22:18

We all used to eat Christmas lunch together when my children were small.

emkana · 24/12/2007 22:19

Yes but on Christmas day??? I can possibly understand letting the 1 year old eat seperately, but a 3 year old should be able to join in with the fun.

Original poster
filtered · 24/12/2007 22:20

oh anchovy and hercules love your answers , I think i am going to play it by ear and see how the morning goes how tired etc and see am favouring my original plan and hey i can do lazyiness it my christmas too

thanks everyone

OP posts:
accessorizemybaublessanta · 24/12/2007 22:20

Not cruel by any means, but I have a 1yo and 4yo and they can fend for themselves at Christmas dinner! DS1 was 3 at last christmas and we just handed him a plate and he got on with it. My 1yo will happily munch on roast veg (carrots & parsnips easy to hold) and pieces of meat etc. I'm looking forward to seeing his face enjoying everyone else around the table. I'm not doing the lunch, dp is, but we're not scheduling round his naps (we can't we never know!). Assign someone else to each child on the day, they don't have to do it the rest of the year do they?? And take photos of them with hats and crackers!

TheMincePiedMadHouse · 24/12/2007 22:21

we are lucky in the the inlaws eat at 12 noon and that both the boys will be awake and this has always been the case, even last year when they were 6 months and 21 months. I have one either side of me and DH sits next to the eldest - who can be picky.

We have always eaten with them, meals are a family occasion and I belive that they should eat what we eat, when we eat of possible. Ds2 (18 months) will nap afterwards. DS1 will just be hyper.

Quattrocento · 24/12/2007 22:22

So were you seeking validation or opinions, Filtered?

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 24/12/2007 22:23

Mine are 6 and 3 and have always eaten Christmas dinner with us. We have tended to move naps around a little on Christmas Day to fit in with other things.

Original poster
filtered · 24/12/2007 22:25

Validation

Curious how others did it

OP posts:
Washersaurus · 24/12/2007 22:25

I really don't think there is anything wrong with being selfish or lazy, especially on Christmas day! I was just finding a better word than 'cruel' to use.

If they are awake then let them eat with you as a family; if they need to sleep, then they need to sleep, it is certainly nothing to feel terrible about unless your DC's get upset about it (which I doubt they would).

We have to attend a family lunch with IL's nearly every week, so I try to structure naps so DC's have slept beforehand. It doesn't always work out, but I try!

wessexgirl · 24/12/2007 22:25

Yes, Christmas Day is a long day! Naps can be fitted in wherever - they get tired earlier, so we've always put them down around 1-ish and eaten between 3 and 4. It is doable, honest! And I'm the first to put my hand up when the lazy mare census is being taken.

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