Christmas nightmare

[Lottiesnanny]

My grown-up daughter is widowed with a young family since she lost her husband 4 years ago I’ve always tried to make Christmas the best I possibly can for her.

Last year they came to me but a lot of stuff has happened over the past year. My husband has been truly horrible to my other son and We do nothing but argue.He is a miserable man who sucks the joy from everything. Cut a Long story Short a couple of times husband got really drunk and threw me out of the house I’ve had to knock my daughter up to let me in at 11:12 o’clock at night so understandably she’s flatly refusing to spend Christmas around my husband. In all fairness
When I said to him about having Christmas dinner at my daughters he flatly refused saying he wasn’t going up there and eat his dinner off his lap ( Big family small house)
So tomorrow I’m going out to my daughters house I’m cooking them their dinner spending two or three hours with them and my son and my grand children and I’m then coming home and cooking dinner for myself and my husband.
However he has come home from work tonight raging won’t tell me what about, ( it will be me it always is ) Face like a slapped arse and I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m going up to my daughters tomorrow ,I don’t think I’m in the wrong however I would like someone else’s perspective on this situation.

It is my understanding that once a woman has decided to leave an abusive man, the important thing is for her leave safely. It can be a dangerous time, when these men get a whiff of what's about to happen. In terms of risk, it's high, because the probability of him turning violent might be 'medium' but the outcome would be very serious indeed.

So things like a dinner on the table can be a feint, to mitigate the risk while plans are put in motion. It takes most women quite a few goes to actually leave, for all sorts of financial, practical and psychological reasons. It's a really difficult and risky time.

Good luck, OP. If you ring Women's Aid they will give you good advice and support.

I'm so pleased your going to try to leave. He won't get better, they never do. Wishing you the very best of luck

I hope you follow through and leave him.

I lived with a husband who wasn’t nearly that bad, but I know the feeling of being twisted all up inside because of my ex husband’s foul moods. I stayed with him for over twenty years. Since we split, life has been peaceful and glorious.

You deserve better, and being on your own is a thousand times better than what he has to offer. You have one life, live it happily! Sending you virtual hugs and positive thoughts for your new life after you kick him to the kerb.