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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Do you buy your own gifts from your DP?

32 replies

SmellieShellie · 24/12/2021 08:25

DP thinks that you should ask for exactly what you want for Xmas. So in the 15 years we've been together I've always bought (out of joint account or he gives me money back if out of mine) my Xmas gifts and give them to him to give to me on Xmas day. This is how he likes to do his Xmas shopping

I think its nicer to buy thoughtful, surprize gifts for people. And/or listen to the stuff they talk about liking through the year so you can buy things they like/want at Xmas. But I don't ask for lists or anything because I think it spoils the fun. DP never knows what I've got him until he opens it and he always loves what I get him.

I think it's a bit silly to just open things you've bought yourself on Xmas morning and try to act all surprized!! And Id love to have a gift that he had seen and thought was perfect for me. It's nice to get exactly what you want but as an adult with a job & money I can buy what I want at anytime of the year really.

First world problems I know!!

Do you buy your own gifts from your DP or do you get surprizes?

OP posts:

WisestIsShe · 24/12/2021 08:27

No. If there's something I really want (unusual) then I'll mention it otherwise we just pick things for each other. Not usually big or expensive things though, books, games, socks, unusual fudge, scent etc

EssexLioness · 24/12/2021 08:40

No, we make the effort to surprise each other. If either one of us is stuck in a particular year, we might ask for suggestions. This year DH got a couple of bits and then was stuck so I shared my Amazon wish list. That way it’s still a bit of a surprise but I know it will be stuff I want

Bluntness100 · 24/12/2021 08:53

We send each other a link to what we want and then the other buys it and wraps it up, so we don’t see it until Xmas morning.

Same with our daughter, we get her what she wants, but with her I always add a few extra surprises.

ExtremeIroning · 24/12/2021 08:54

No sod that

Women do the bulk of Christmas anyway. Why should we buy our own present?? Not a good lesson for your children, especially the male children.

ShrillSiren · 24/12/2021 08:56

Yes I usually do. I spend more time online than he does, so I tend to see the good deals on things that I want so I order. I'm a deal hunter (waves to the bargain thread on the Christmas board) so presents that are a good price make me happier than surprises anyway.

Cherryrainbow · 24/12/2021 08:57

I have to give my OH a list or he his surprises are always awful, like really - a size 8 unicorn onesie when I'm a size 14 lol

I do buy stuff for myself and go eehh it's xmas lol and when I was a single i bought stuff for me to unwrap on xmas day.

My love type is definitely gift giving I love planning surprises for people based on their likes, interests, stuff they talk about and stuff like that. Luckily OH is really easy to buy for cos he's a big old nerd lol

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 24/12/2021 09:00

DHs presents often include various pieces of technical hobby gear. Its easier for him to order and me to wrap. Then get a small surprise.
This year I needed new walking boots. It made more sense to go together (then he wrapped them).

mistermagpie · 24/12/2021 09:01

No, I think that's a bit weird! Either we don't bother at all (we've got three very young children so they take priority and all the money) or we pick something out for the other person ourselves, or occasionally we will do a meal out or overnight so it's a joint thing.

Buying and giving someone else gifts to wrap up for you seems really sad to me.

SouthOfFrance · 24/12/2021 09:02

You sure he doesn't think that just so he gets out of the chore of buying your gifts? If he really only wants to buy you things on a pre set list then he could at least go to the trouble of prdering/buying them for you.

Divebar2021 · 24/12/2021 09:06

No I’d rather not have a present than have something I’d bought for myself. What’s the point of that? It just gives your partner an excuse to absent themselves from any of the thought and effort in the process. DH and I will give broad ideas or send a link to a item but then we would have surprises on top of that.

SittingontheSidelines · 24/12/2021 09:16

Dh is much better at buying for me than I am for him. (He used to be easy, books and music but now he downloads everything he fancies) leaving me with the more boring options. He's thoughtful and very good at picking up on things I might like but in part that's because I rarely buy stuff for myself.
This year we're not doing gifts all agreed and we were both happy with it. Then he surprised me with a luxury advent calendar.

BarbaraofSeville · 24/12/2021 09:22

Unless he has chosen, ordered and wrapped the gift it's not from him is it? It's just making the act of you buying something for yourself more complicated and makes him think he has bought you a gift when he hasn't.

We just do token gifts and buy our own things when we want them. Much easier and less stressful all round.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 24/12/2021 09:23

nah, even for me that's a step too far.
I will admit to sending him assorted screenshots now and again in November and December, with a note that if he's looking for ideas then those things would be nice. He usually gets a couple of the things I've suggested, and a couple more. I wouldn't want to add buying my own presents onto my to-do list.

freshcarnation · 24/12/2021 09:35

We don't get anything for each other usually. About 5 years ago I saw an eternity ring I wanted in a pawn shop, bought it and told him to give it to me for Christmas . I think I bought him an iPad that year to make things even

NalPolishRemover · 24/12/2021 09:36

No, no & no! I'd also rather have no present than one i'd selected, bought / ordered myself even if he wrapped it..

Dh is very good at presents for me. We both put lots of effort into selecting thoughtful gifts for each other.

I some times suggest a broad theme for birthdays I.e. jewellery or perfume & I mind less it not being such a surprise then for some reason. Though mostly he will buy something he's thought of.

Our dc is a teen now & we had some years when they were small where we did v small token presents to each other. But in recent years we've been more attentive to us as a couple. Think it's the realisation that in a v short few years it's back to being just us as dc start their own lives & that we count.

Anyway whatever the reason we spoil each other at Christmas & we both love it.

Neither of us has a clue what's waiting under the tree for us!

CamsPaisleyCuffs · 24/12/2021 09:42

Yes, we both do it, and we also buy a few surprise gifts for each other as well. I have no idea what fishing rod he wants, likewise I do not want a pair of earrings which cannot be returned.

AwkwardPaws27 · 24/12/2021 09:46

DP thinks that you should ask for exactly what you want for Xmas

But he doesn't buy his gifts and give them to you - so he doesn't actually think that. He's just getting you to do his shopping.

ExquisitelyDecorated · 24/12/2021 10:06

It depends what it is, we do a mixture. This year I have bought my own because it was a very specific item of jewellery (set of silver rings) from a company that I've already bought things from, so I have an account with them, know the ring size for the relevant finger, it was easier for me to order, but he's going to wrap up. Likewise he wants some specialist stuff for his bike from a site he uses regularly, easier for him to just order it. We have some smaller things chosen as surprises for each other too.

Some years we go with surprises all round or ask for a particular thing if its just as easy for the other person to buy. As for it being a bad lesson for the DCs, they don't necessarily know as it tends to be part of conversations about their presents when they're not around. We have a fairly relaxed attitude to helping each other choose presents for other family members anyway, I sometimes know better then them if grandma likes a particular thing etc.

AlexaShutUp · 24/12/2021 10:08

No, but my DH is truly crap at gift giving (he has other better qualities) so I just buy myself a gift each Christmas to replace the one I'd like to get from him!

AlexaShutUp · 24/12/2021 10:09

I should add, I don't bother wrapping it!

Covidclaire · 24/12/2021 10:10

Sounds like you have a lazy, thoughtless DP.

The only gift I’ve ever picked out myself was a diamond ring. A few years ago we went for a nice lunch and trip to Hatton Garden a few weeks before Christmas so that I could pick something. But the idea was all OHs.

santaclothes · 24/12/2021 10:10

DP thinks that you should ask for exactly what you want for Xmas.

Asking for what you want as an adult? Not my bag (prefer the element of surprise) but fair enough if it works for others.

So in the 15 years we've been together I've always bought (out of joint account or he gives me money back if out of mine) my Xmas gifts and give them to him to give to me on Xmas day.

This is just him being arse lazy and outsourcing his one simple task to buy you a present.

This is how he likes to do his Xmas shopping

I bet it is. Why have you been enabling him? Are you scared of an argument if you disagree?

First world problems I know!!

Is it? Or is it actually indicative of a wider issue?

YorkieTheRabbit · 24/12/2021 10:17

It depends on what it is. I wanted some sheepskin slippers so I ordered the ones that I want. He’ll ask if there is anything I want and he’ll look for surprises too.

Holothane · 24/12/2021 10:18

I have done the last few years, especially this years I want very little from him.

WontBeSurprised · 24/12/2021 10:32

We do a mixture. Sometimes I want something specific and let DH know what (my precious Switch and Zelda game for example). Sometimes he surprises me - but only stuff he's sure about (perfume/skincare that he knows I use) and now and again I pick something up and tell him he's bought it me. This year he's got fed up with asking me what I want and me replying 'nothing' so he's put some money in my bank account.
The reason we do this is because I only want things I want. I don't want him wasting money on jewellery/clothes/cosmetics that are not to my taste.
It doesn't matter - I know he loves me, he knows I love him and none of it is indicative of the state of our relationship (we've been together 46 years).

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