Page 3 | Tales of Christmas disasters

Twatling · 22/12/2021 17:48

@LibbyL92

I was around 14 at the time. And we were up my nans for Xmas dinner. My dad, uncle Grandad went to the pub for a few hours so my Nan (aunts and mum) could get the dinner ready.

Anyway, my grandad came back steaming and fell through the table. Taking all the meals down with him. Everyone then really struggled to lift him, he’s a real big guy and was a dead weight!

We all hysterically laugh about it now but it was a nightmare at the time 😂

This really made me laff out loud! Had a similar issue in the 70s, except my Grandad wasn't built like a brick shithouse and my mom and nan managed to drag him into the rocking chair where they left him all day. My nan put a party hat on him and took loads of photos 'for posterity'

Badbaddog · 22/12/2021 18:02

My granny steamed the Christmas pud in the pressure cooker. In its plastic bowl 😱

Witheringlooks · 22/12/2021 18:07

Went to MIL's one year, I had a stinking cold and OH had a bad back. I then started throwing up. I've never been so miserable or wanted my mum more on Christmas day. I couldn't breathe because of my cold, I slept most of the day (in between puking) and ended up eating just one roast potato. OH really pissed me off by moaning he might need a walking stick to walk because of his back. Readers, he was very nearly wearing a walking stick 😆

AngelsEyeball · 22/12/2021 18:26

Mother very very hungover, if not still drunk from Xmas eve, threw up in the hallway, we all heard the plop plop of vomit on to the carpet.. her response was oh I got a bit of food caught. Her house stank of vomit. She expected everyone to carry on. Didn’t happen. As she threw up more in the toilet food was thrown on the bin

WinterDeWinter · 22/12/2021 18:28

@thnack

My DH's dad is a real food snob and thinks he's Monsieur Escoffier in the kitchen. He's also a real dog snob and considers himself The Very Best Trainer in the world, despite not being a dog trainer, ever.

So imagine his dilemma one Christmas when his impeccably trained beast of a dog launched itself at the worktop where the roast turkey was resting, snatched it and dragged it off through the dog flap, skinning and de-legging it in the process, only to sniff his prize and back away, disgusted. FIL was just left with some skin and legs on the floor and the shame of having a badly behaved dog who didn't find the turkey worth eating.

This is a joy!

Powerpotpie · 22/12/2021 18:32

@GinandGobbledegook

I love the fact that people can't comprehend my gravy story.

MIL doesn't have a big kitchen so we all wait at the dinner table whilst she and SIL serve. They serve the whole dinner including gravy. We don't do the gravy boat thing. It didn't occur to me that is was an unusual thing

I didn’t think it was unusual OP and quite surprised that it was even questioned!

Martz · 22/12/2021 18:37

One year the dog stole the Turkey remains and then tried to swallow it whole when he realised he’d been caught. The problem was that some of it hooked on the side of his mouth as he swallowed, while the rest of the Turkey carcass was down his throat. So he proceeded to choke on the damn thing. The moron was actually biting our hands to stop us trying to retrieve it from his throat to save him from choking to death. Eventually we pulled it free but he still wasn’t giving up on his feast so he snapped it back from the hands of his saviour and successfully swallowed it whole the second time. He’s not welcome to many get togethers nowadays 🤣

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 22/12/2021 18:52

Some of these have made me SO entertained!

There was the year I had bronchitis, pneumonia, laryngitis, conjunctivitis, an ear infection and broke a rib from all the coughing all diagnosed between Dec 19th and 30th

That was a fun festive season

BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 22/12/2021 19:17

@Pumpkinstace

I'll start.

One year I bought a frozen turkey but didn't realise it had giblets.

They were inside the turkey in a vacuum sealed but of plastic.

I cooked the turkey without removing them and had to bin the part cooked turkey once the smell of melting plastic was noticed.

Oops

I've done that with the giblets, it's apparently a very common mistake! One year OH decided to be helpful, like putting all three oven gloves in the washing machine at 10 am on Christmas Day, that was fun. Another year his mother, who distrusted electricity, switched off the fridge before she went to bed in our house on Christmas Eve. The children enjoyed chocolate ice cream at breakfast, luckily it was only a small fridge with a freezer box.

BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 22/12/2021 19:28

@SpiderinaWingMirror

My favourite one was from back in the last century. I had the pleasure of being a claims inspector for the Co op. I went out to see a nice man who explained his Christmas disaster. A week or 2 before the big day, their TV packed up. As you did in those days, it went off to be mended. They realised a few days before that it wouldn't be back. And of course, no Internet in those days so Xmas without a telly was a serious issue. Not to worry, his brother and sister in law were coming for Christmas Day. They would bring theirs. They arrived with Bil and Sil carrying the TV between them. In those days they had glass screens, cathode Ray tubes and were very heavy indeed. They managed to get it through the front door. Then Sil scrapped her knuckles and fell over in her pointy stilettos. As they lost balance, they fell sideways into the table. Taking out their wedding China (only used on Xmas Day and carefully kept for 20 years without breakage).It took the mahogany table out and 2 chairs. Which hit the sideboard and finished the crystal glasses and decanter and covered the carpet in port and sherry. They then had to take the SIl to hospital for an ankle xray. Returned to a ruined Turkey cos it hadn't been switched off. His wife and her sister didn't speak for the rest of Christmas. And they still didn't have a telly to watch. He was so convinced he wouldn't be believed, he took pictures on his camera and had then developed at Boots specially to show me!

I've just watched the very old Some Mother Do Have'Em and your post reads just like a plot on that, I can imagine Michael Crawford starring in it!

Hoppinggreen · 22/12/2021 19:37

@GinandGobbledegook

I love the fact that people can't comprehend my gravy story.

MIL doesn't have a big kitchen so we all wait at the dinner table whilst she and SIL serve. They serve the whole dinner including gravy. We don't do the gravy boat thing. It didn't occur to me that is was an unusual thing

As somebody who can’t stand people putting food on my plate AT ALL that made me feel a bit panicky

AliceMcK · 22/12/2021 19:48

@babycornrock

One memorable Christmas, my sister was making her 'famous' gravy, we all waited in anticipation and poured it generously all over our lunch, except for my dad.

Unfortunately for us, she had 'washed' the gravy boat prior to the gravy making. However she had forgotten to actually rinse it, meaning that there was a ratio of about 1:5 washing up liquid to gravy all over Christmas dinner... nobody realised until bubbles appeared and everything tasted distinctly soapy. Oh how my dad laughed as he got on with eating his, whilst we had to forage for frozen ready meals instead...

Omg I did this once, not Xmas but the one and only time my parents came to my place for lunch. Was very young living in a studio with my bf, I only had a plastic jug to make the gravy in and I’d used the same jug earlier that day, I can’t remember what for but I’d put bleach in it 🤢

TeaStory · 22/12/2021 19:59

@slavetothekittens

Was dishing up the Xmas dinner, all going well, when one of my cats got over excited at the smell of one of his favourite treats ( mashed potato, he loved potatoes) and jumped up on the table, landing slap bang in the middle of my plate....cue a very bemused cat and yes, he got his dish of potato and gravy after he'd had his paws wiped.

I just love that your cat loved potatoes that much. Cats are so delightfully weird!

Gumbomambo · 22/12/2021 20:23

Unfortunately got very drunk on the neighbourhood drinks round, I’d left the turkey in the oven. It Should have been fine but I had forgotten that the timer turned off after an hour and a half and needed resetting. We were unable to resuscitate it. I just remember firing frozen pizzas down the counter and DH spinning them like plates on his fingers before trying to get them in the oven.

Thighdentitycrisis · 22/12/2021 20:54

The cat died

SockFluffInTheBath · 22/12/2021 20:57

@Thighdentitycrisis

When I was about 5/6 my parents bought a real tree, planted it outside after Christmas, and brought it back in the following year. We came down one morning to find the presents under the tree running with ants from a nest in the rootball.

BettyfromBristol · 22/12/2021 20:58

A very long time ago, my sister, my brother and I spent five days over Christmas in bed with measles. We opened our stockings on New year's eve. Thank goodness for vaccines, that wouldn't happen now.

A friend was at a large family gathering with her very affectionate son aged about five. He had spent time with everyone, sitting on their laps and cuddling up. Then someone noticed he had a bad case of nits.

tillytoodles1 · 22/12/2021 21:18

@ArblemarzipanTFruitcake

Not really a disaster but my dad once mistook the stock I'd simmered for hours on Christmas Eve as waste and chucked it down the sink on Christmas morning.

I managed to make some more out of what I could cobble together but it wasn't very flavoursome

My husband did the same with my delicious gravy. I asked him to strain it ,meaning get the bits out, but that was all that was left after all the gravy disappeared down the sink I burst into tears and made bisto gravy for the seven people sat round the table but i couldnt eat mine I was so upset.

ShortColdandGrey · 22/12/2021 21:36

Our first Christmas after we got married I am a rubbish cook but decided I was cooking Christmas Dinner. I started to feel ill Christmas Eve and Christmas morning could barely get out of bed. I dragged myself up and made myself get through the day. I made Christmas dinner then collapsed on the sofa. I was told it tasted really good but I was to sick to care

Whitefire · 22/12/2021 22:49

When dd1 was small (I think about 6) we had mother in law for Christmas, the first one after FIL had passed away, she was being an absolute grump and was lying in her bed, I shouted at her and told her to stop being grumpy and come downstairs.

The next day she woke up with gunk pouring out of her ear, ended up at OOH (luckily managed to get the last appointment slot available) and then a prescription for anti-biotics.

Felt a little guilty at being stroppy with her the day before.

boringcreation · 22/12/2021 23:48

@SmolCat

Why is anyone putting gravy on someone else's dinner...?? Exactly what I thought!

You've never been to my MILs....

sueelleker · 23/12/2021 09:12

@LaChristmasBella

When we were young and poor, we bought turkey drumsticks for everyone instead of an actual turkey. I put them in the oven overnight, not to cook, but because there wasn't room in the fridge.

During the night, my cat worked out how to open the oven and had taken huge bites out of every single drumstick.

No-one else was awake, so I scrubbed the drumsticks clean, then hacked the meat off and diced what was left.

Christmas dinner that year was turkey stew with yorkshire puddings, stuffing, roasties, assorted veg and pigs in blankets - and everyone politely said it was tasty.

My cat didn't even have the grace to look ashamed of himself. Little twat. I do miss him.

My Mum's friend had a cat that did this. Tore a leg off the turkey and spent the next 3 days comatose in bliss. They cut off the chewed bit, and ate the rest of the bird.

sashh · 23/12/2021 09:42

Back in the 1970s so before videos and half the TV programmes being in black and white my parents got a colour TV for my grandparents. We dropped it off a few days before.

My grandparents had a rented black and white so called the shop and they collected it.

At about 6pm on Xmas eve, their new TV stopped working.

Compared to illness and falling ceilings it's not a major upset but at that time all there was for entertainment was TV and the shops didn't open on boxing day like they do now.

There was the year my mum bought the turkey to the table with the giblets still in their plastic bag.

The year the turkey was defrosting and the cat thought it was a marvelous feast.

The first year after my brother left home he couldn't get back for Xmas (student nurse and 500 miles away) my mum spent ages getting things for him and sending a parcel.

But she forgot to get anything for me.

SwtPeasOnEarth · 23/12/2021 16:43

My FIL died on Christmas day..he'd been sick for awhile so it wasn't a shock, thank goodness. We spent Christmas day making travel arrangements to fly across the country for his funeral. Back then he seemed "old enough to die" (age 71)..but now we realise how young he actually was.😭 Thank the Lord for modern medicine!
I wish you all a Merry Christmas this year!