Tales of Christmas disasters

[Pumpkinstace]

I'll start.

One year I bought a frozen turkey but didn't realise it had giblets.

They were inside the turkey in a vacuum sealed but of plastic.

I cooked the turkey without removing them and had to bin the part cooked turkey once the smell of melting plastic was noticed.

Oops

My DH's dad is a real food snob and thinks he's Monsieur Escoffier in the kitchen. He's also a real dog snob and considers himself The Very Best Trainer in the world, despite not being a dog trainer, ever.

So imagine his dilemma one Christmas when his impeccably trained beast of a dog launched itself at the worktop where the roast turkey was resting, snatched it and dragged it off through the dog flap, skinning and de-legging it in the process, only to sniff his prize and back away, disgusted. FIL was just left with some skin and legs on the floor and the shame of having a badly behaved dog who didn't find the turkey worth eating.

In line with the ceiling collapsing, my sister had her beautifully set outside table's (NZ) glass top explode - with the food already on it. . . oops.

At my parents we'd just had lunch and say down to chill when I looked over my boyfriend's shoulder and found him texting his ex.
I went crazy- so crazy in fact that my parents ended up consoling the boyfriend and calling me all the names under the sun.
It was a shite Christmas (and I'll never forgive my parents for not having my back).

Our dc once pulled a knob off the front of the oven and broke it on Christmas Eve.

Cue a lot of panic to try and find a shop that had a cooker in stock, and to get it delivered and gas fitted, but we did it!!!

Two days later, on Boxing Day evening, our visiting friend managed to damage our patio door in such a way that it wouldn't close, and there was snow coming in through the gap all night.

I came down with flu. DDs were 21 months and 3yo. I spent the next week and a bit in bed.
It was fortunate it was Christmas in a way as DH was off work and able to look after the children. However he let them open all the boxes etc and it took me ages to sort out bits of presents and generally catch up with housework.

I was around 14 at the time. And we were up my nans for Xmas dinner. My dad, uncle Grandad went to the pub for a few hours so my Nan (aunts and mum) could get the dinner ready.

Anyway, my grandad came back steaming and fell through the table. Taking all the meals down with him. Everyone then really struggled to lift him, he’s a real big guy and was a dead weight!

We all hysterically laugh about it now but it was a nightmare at the time 😂

Went to Mum and Dad’s for Christmas. Knocked on the door. My Dad answered it and said “Merry Christmas. The toilet is blocked”. Nobody in our house was a good DIYer so this was a big issue!

While I was out one Christmas Eve, dh took it into his head to water our big, real tree. Only he didn’t check the level, so the water overflowed, all over the red crepe paper I’d wrapped the bucket in, so red dye stained our NEW, light green carpet. 🤬

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

While I was out one Christmas Eve, dh took it into his head to water our big, real tree. Only he didn’t check the level, so the water overflowed, all over the red crepe paper I’d wrapped the bucket in, so red dye stained our NEW, light green carpet. 🤬

this happened to us on our solid oak floor....

Our own disaster:

We bought a naice turkey crown a bit too early to keep fresh so we put it in the top of the freezer - the top part with the flap. Forgetting that it would eventually expand. We couldn't get it out. No matter what utensil we tried.

Every attempt to extract it, it just spun round like an ice hockey puck.

It was New Year before we got to it and that was only because we defrosted the freezer.

Luckily we had one of those bird in a bird ready to roast in a freezer drawer at the bottom - we ate that on Chrsitmas Day. It was ok.

I hosted DH’s family one year only….a good 15 years ago. I spent days cooking and preparing food. Worked Christmas Eve night as a nurse and started to get unwell.

Came home Christmas morning, feverish and feeling fairly dreadful. Spent the morning cooking, by lunchtime too unwell to think straight. DS1 who was just turned 4 vomited in his Christmas dinner, I ended up in bed with both DS1 and DS2 who was 2. They both ended up with what I had.

DH got progressively more drunk and despite feeling horrendous, I had to get up with the kids the next morning because he was so hungover. He says he got stressed about having to host and me being I’ll, it definitely was very out of character for him!

It was horrendous, I had proper Flu and was ill for weeks.

The year my family decided to stop pretending to each other we don't smoke cannabis.
I had brought some with me as a gift "to the house" and we all got stuck in on Christmas day
A good time was had by all with some left over.
So on boxing day Mum decided to make some cookies. Everyone had one and when the effects didn't kick in right away....everyone had a second one. The effects kicked in rather quickly after that.
I took a bit of a whitey and went to the garden to throw up. My Mum saw this and freaked out "Oh my god! I've poisoned the children!!""
I tried to explain I was fine but poor old Mum was properly paranoid by then and took to following me around repeatedly asking if I was alright....which somewhat harshed my vibe...to say the least.
Then one of my Mum's friends dropped round and saved the situation by instructing my Dad to take Mum upstairs and look after her. And then finding a few tubs of ice cream to occupy the rest of us.
The experiment was not repeated.

I had totally forgotten until this thread but we also had the ceiling collapse on the dining room table. There had been a leak we didn't know about. I think it was Easter and not Christmas, we definitely had guests over though.

Years ago, when I was in my early 20’s……

I’d been out Xmas eve and got hammered. I lived in a studio flat and I’d thrown up in the sink (over the dishes), all over the floor, got tangled up in the clothes horse and puked on those clothes………

Next day I woke up feeling like death and asked what the smell was……… my bf at the time explained…… I was too hung over to do anything for most of the day……. Then I had to wash the vomity dishes….. I got the turkey in the oven around 5pm, but it wouldn’t cook and was raw in the middle, but we were starving, so we hacked the cooked bits off and ate that…… at around 8pm if I remember…….

We sat down at 11ish to open presents, only for DH to be dripped on from the ceiling....
Luckily that was the one year we weren't having visitors.

Not long married and in a house big enough to host family. Everyone round. Turkey and ham as main course with lots for seconds. Went into kitchen to collect to find the two cats had dragged both joints of work top. One eating turkey and the other ham. Chased them out of the house firing the meat after them. Family were great and found it funny but I was so upset as wanted it to be perfect.
Most of the family and the two cats have passed away so the two of us abroad for Christmas this year. Booked earlier in the year when it liked like Covid was going to be liveable with. If cancelled would lose all costs so on tenterhooks to see if we get holiday or whisked home

Not a disaster, but on the furniture theme - my sister, who hadn't much furniture at the time, hosted Christmas for our family. She had to bring in some plastic garden chairs as there weren't enough dining chairs.

At the end of the meal, the one my dad was sitting in simply collapsed under him. He wasn't hurt but it was like a clip from ' you've been framed'.

When we were young and poor, we bought turkey drumsticks for everyone instead of an actual turkey. I put them in the oven overnight, not to cook, but because there wasn't room in the fridge.

During the night, my cat worked out how to open the oven and had taken huge bites out of every single drumstick.

No-one else was awake, so I scrubbed the drumsticks clean, then hacked the meat off and diced what was left.

Christmas dinner that year was turkey stew with yorkshire puddings, stuffing, roasties, assorted veg and pigs in blankets - and everyone politely said it was tasty.

My cat didn't even have the grace to look ashamed of himself. Little twat. I do miss him.

My favourite one was from back in the last century.
I had the pleasure of being a claims inspector for the Co op.
I went out to see a nice man who explained his Christmas disaster.
A week or 2 before the big day, their TV packed up. As you did in those days, it went off to be mended. They realised a few days before that it wouldn't be back. And of course, no Internet in those days so Xmas without a telly was a serious issue.
Not to worry, his brother and sister in law were coming for Christmas Day. They would bring theirs.
They arrived with Bil and Sil carrying the TV between them. In those days they had glass screens, cathode Ray tubes and were very heavy indeed.
They managed to get it through the front door. Then Sil scrapped her knuckles and fell over in her pointy stilettos.
As they lost balance, they fell sideways into the table. Taking out their wedding China (only used on Xmas Day and carefully kept for 20 years without breakage).It took the mahogany table out and 2 chairs. Which hit the sideboard and finished the crystal glasses and decanter and covered the carpet in port and sherry.
They then had to take the SIl to hospital for an ankle xray. Returned to a ruined Turkey cos it hadn't been switched off. His wife and her sister didn't speak for the rest of Christmas. And they still didn't have a telly to watch.
He was so convinced he wouldn't be believed, he took pictures on his camera and had then developed at Boots specially to show me!

And they still didn't have a telly to watch.

It sounds like the dramatic events in their house were better than anything on telly!

Christmas in the Southern Hemisphere I never liked going to other peoples houses I was way quite happy spending Christmas on my own but this one year I went to my friends mums house, it’s was boiling hot, we had about 10 fans surrounding the table where we were eating a full on roast, there were about 20 of us absolutely sweltering. Anyhow just as desert was being served the lovely lady I was sat across from suddenly started to loose all her dinner, it was pouring out of her mouth like a giant sausage, just continuing coming and coming. It turned out her heart had stopped. Luckily she had a pacemaker and she was fine afterwards. I think I was more worried afterwards as I was the only one not drinking so I took the woman home, the whole time I was panicking she would have another attack.

Christmas with family in France. We flew and enjoyed a relaxed arrival. Other family decided to go by train and got lost crossing Paris so missed their onward connection. We had to drive 1.5 hours to collect them from the closes station they could get to. None of them were speaking when we got there. The next day FIL threw a strop when none of his DILs would make him a hot chocolate so things got off to a bad start. We were all working full time and it was our holiday as much as his and he knows how to put a kettle on.
Then French family cooked a bird which was underdone and we all got the most dreadful food poisoning and there was only one loo between 8 of us. I couldn't even lift my head off the pillow it was so bad. The day after we started being sick there was a massive storm and half of the roof blew off. Our room was in the attic so we had to move into the living room. It was a disaster from start to finish.
I've never been so glad to get home.

I love the fact that people can't comprehend my gravy story.

MIL doesn't have a big kitchen so we all wait at the dinner table whilst she and SIL serve. They serve the whole dinner including gravy. We don't do the gravy boat thing. It didn't occur to me that is was an unusual thing

I don't remember it because I was about six, but there was a flu epidemic in the 1960s and my dad, brother and I went down with it leaving my mother to make Christmas lunch for one and eat it on her own.

Ooh...

Trying to surprise my fiance on Christmas Eve and it falling flat when he told me he thought our relationship wasn't working.

It all coming out to my parents after Christmas Dinner the following day followed by me moving put on Boxing Day and discovering between then and NYE that he was having and EA with someone at work...

Tonsillitis one year so bad that all I could eat was soft bread and iced water for 4 days...

Notorious kicking in halfway through Christmas Dinner...

Several years of rowing over who we were going to when, until I put my foot down and refused to leave the house on Christmas Day again.

There have been several other niggles...this year has potential to be a doozy but I'm hoping I'll be proved wrong.

Norovirus.. although Christmas itself is fairly notorious in my world as you can imagine!