Can't stop buying!

[BunTooti]

I started buying early for the kids and I just haven't stopped.
I've gone from thinking DS didn't have enough to now thinking he probably has too much. I'm still waiting on 3 things to be delivered. I'm absolutely done now, no really, I am!

Anyone else?

No wonder young people expect so much... Spoilt as children! When other adults tell them "no" we get a 2 year old type strop from young people in the workplace. We blame the parents... And it would seem rightly so!

Me too! I finished buying for my DCs months ago but it hasn’t stopped me buying more. I do this every year though, I get the important main stuff out of the way so I’m not stressing, then I just randomly pick up bits I see. My biggest problem is I try and keep numbers even so if I see something for 1 dc I have to get get something extra for the other 2. Most recent, I bought my oldest dd a gorgeous Harry Potter bollard pillow, as 2 DDs share a bed I had to get my other dd one but didn’t have her house colours so got something else she’d like. But then I know that DD3 (4yo) will want to know why she didn’t get a pillow too so I found a unicorn one she’d like.

Even today I’ve put a bloody unicorn in my basket on Amazon because my 4yo has today told me Santa is bringing her a unicorn and described what it looks like. I’ve got her several unicorn themed things but not an actual unicorn. I’m really fighting buying it 😬

@Mirw

No wonder young people expect so much... Spoilt as children! When other adults tell them "no" we get a 2 year old type strop from young people in the workplace. We blame the parents... And it would seem rightly so!

Can you prove those young people were bought large amounts of presents as children? 🤣, there are many ways to spoil children, I would say that buying a child a large amount of gifts one day a year isn’t one that’s going to cause them to be a spoilt brat as a adult. My dc appreciate every gift they get, they are always grateful and rarely ask for anything all year.

I do this every year, I can’t help myself! Last year I felt I had done a bit better at stopping myself from the constant twitching. This year however I have gone a bit mad again. They don’t get much throughout the year, and we focus more on Christmas than birthday. They also don’t get much from anybody else.

@Mirw
Thank goodness the 40+ generations at least are such wonderful examples of calm and considerate, unselfish humanity. You know, people like Boris Johnson, Hancock, Cummings, and the many more of the greed is good generations.
The selfless generations, if there every truly were any, are all long since dead and gone from this Earth.

Honestly each to their own but if it's out of hand or budget I would have a reassessment and returnany excess, most things can be returned. Or keep some bits for birthdays.

Looking at a whole pile of gifts and doubting it is 'enough' and feeling mild panic at that feels quite toxic really, as does a lot about xmas gifting in general.

My DC are adults now and they each gave 5 present to open from my DH and I plus a stocking. Before the weekend they had 4 presents each but I cracked and bought them all something else.
My DH also 4 presents from me.
I’ve gone for quality gifts (apart from the stocking fillers).

@Mirw

No wonder young people expect so much... Spoilt as children! When other adults tell them "no" we get a 2 year old type strop from young people in the workplace. We blame the parents... And it would seem rightly so!

Hope you don’t kick up a fuss if someone ever displays an ageist attitude towards you.

I have a note on my phone where I have written down every present I’ve bought. Helps me see who I still need to buy for. My issue is finding something for one DD so having to get something else for the other so they have the same number of presents. They’re both equal right now so I have banned myself from anything else. If I see anything for DD1, I’ll get it for her birthday at the end of January. DD2 just had her birthday a couple of months ago and it’s not as easy to put things by because she’s 15mo.

Spend what your like OP and ignore the posters whose moral judgments are nothing to do with you.

If parents sadly cannot afford to buy their children’s presents then that’s nothing to do with you, if parents want to lavish their children with well thought out gifts then that’s nothing to do with them.

People hate/would hate me if they knew the real cost of what I spend on my kids, but I deserve to lavish them with the Christmas I choose to give them.

Whether you give them 1 or 100 presents, only you can decide when to stop buying, as long as it’s not out of your budget then tbh no one should really give a monkeys bum!

I'm currently trying not to buy them walkie talkies as a joint gift. The twitch is real

@Mirw I spoil DD rotten at Christmas and DGP's spoil her weekly. She has never been greedy or grabby, nor will she have to work unless she chooses to do so, so The Workplace can release a collective sigh of relief .

I have also bought A LOT of stuff.

It's only when checking to see which batteries/tools were needed to build that I realised I'd managed to get her two main presents.

So she has a huge kitchen and a very large wooden medical centre.

Plus 18 other presents, a stocking and, like you, 3 on the way.

She only gets from me though, and we donate many of her old toys, so I explain it away like that.

@Billyliarohdear

I sorted all DC's gifts last night and I've gone from thinking I hadn't bought enough to thinking I've got too much ( DD 32 gifts DS 30). Some of the gifts are selection boxes or things that would usually go in their stockings ( but they're filled up now with stuff) but still I think they've got enough. I just need to go into town to get that onsie DD was looking at last week... And possibly a new bag for DS...

My dc DO get a lot of gifts I agree however gifts do include things like new trainers that would need to be purchased anyway (I do pay a little extra for ones they really like for Xmas) and the onsie and bag (backpack being for school) I mention are obviously useful and would need to be bought anyway later in the year. My dc do get gifts from family too although this year they are being given money from both sets of grandparents. Aunt's/Uncle and family friends buy token gifts under £10 - they probably get around 7 each. My dc do get small things throughout the year but no big ticket items (a new tablet for eg would only be bought at Xmas or Birthday- even if it was broken and Christmas/Birthday were 11 months away).

Yeah I've done this too. I kept thinking they were uneven and then bought another one thing and another one and ugh it's too much.

@DeepaBeesKit my parents are the only other people that give gifts to my children, despite the fact they have another grandparent, 4 aunts/uncles, adult cousins etc. I don't know why, everyone just stopped when we moved away from our home town, as though they dont exist anymore. Because of that, I feel I might overcompensate, so they get around 10 presents plus a stocking each.

@17caterpillars1mouse

I'm currently trying not to buy them walkie talkies as a joint gift. The twitch is real

Don’t, I did this last year as one of my extra buys, I’ve not seen them in 11 months! Seemed like a great idea at the time 😬

You either need therapy or you are trying to buy your kids' love.

All that shit will end up in landfill within a year or two and won't ever decay.

The world has gone fucking mad.
Mindless capitalism is eating people alive.

People sitting at home clicking "place order" and these poor fuckers rushing around delivering a thousand Amazon boxes.

Fuck it all.
A plague on your house

Get some help.

I go OTT for my girls, im not going to say how many gifts I've wrapped but its more than most. I love seeing the excitement on their faces when they see a big pile of things all chosen just for them. Cost wise im probably average according to mumsnet as I buy alot second hand/free or with vouchers/on offer. The only other people who buy for them is my mum and sister which will be one small token gift from each and a day out to look forward to next year.

My dds are 13 and 9, they are the most generous and kind children, they would give anything to anyone and think about others before themselves. Dd1 will draw elaborate cards for all her friends birthdays and spend her small amount of pocket money on favourite sweets for them as it makes her happy to see her friends happy.

I dont buy throughout the year at all, unless its absolutely necessary. New lunchboxes/backpack, clothes are all gifts. We borrow books from the library and if we go on a day out never buy stuff from the gift shop, instead we choose a magnet together for the fridge. Many who buy less at Christmas/birthdays would think nothing of buying a magazine when out shopping, or a toy when out for the day. These add up not just cost wise but materialistic wise too.

Also just to add I was spoilt as a child (you couldn't see the floor or room for presents and it would take all day to open it all). And as an adult i love choosing well thought out gifts for others, I give as much as I can material/time to charity and I certainly don't have an issue with the word no. Buying lots of Christmas gifts doesn't cause spoilt adults, that is a combination of personality and general parenting. 1 day out of 365 isn't going to have that much of an impact on how a child turns out!

Amount of presents means nothing. Ten could easily be art supplies if that's what someone's child likes. Someone might wrap it all individually, someone else might put it all in a box and call it one present.

Likewise cost doesn't imply anything either. Two children want a kitchen playset for Christmas. One costs £30 and comes with lots of accessories, the other costs £200 and accessories aren't included so must be bought separately.

@cherrycola7 you sound like a laugh. Maybe a plague on your personality ...

@cherrycola7

You either need therapy or you are trying to buy your kids' love.

All that shit will end up in landfill within a year or two and won't ever decay.

The world has gone fucking mad.
Mindless capitalism is eating people alive.

People sitting at home clicking "place order" and these poor fuckers rushing around delivering a thousand Amazon boxes.

Fuck it all.
A plague on your house

Get some help.

This was so dramatic but poetically articulated exactly how I felt reading some of these comments.

Mine both have 10 each and then one other main present m. They had about another 5 each but I’ve given them back to the charity shop I got them in! They’ll get a present from my parents and my sister and maybe a god parent as well.

Do no one else's dc get overwhelmed by too many gifts on the day though? Mine do. And that's what stops me from buying too much. They've also got pretty much all they need/want already, and love rediscovering old toys throughout the year. DD in particular is very environmentally aware and doesn't like getting lots of stuff!

I think as parents we put that pressure on ourselves to make it special with presents - when dc would often be happy with a couple things and our presence. Twee but true in many cases.

Do no one else's dc get overwhelmed by too many gifts on the day though?

We take it in turns to open presents so it makes it feel less overwhelming. It also makes us all stop and appreciate what we’ve just opened and also what other people have received too. It also takes longer to open them all so the magic lasts longer.