Christmas was teenagers - what’s yours like? Anyone else dreading it?

[Twobigsapphires]

3 teenage dc here. It’s been an odd few Christmas’s. On one had it’s nice to get a lay in at Christmas now and not feel the whole Santa pressure etc but now it feels harder work for other reasons.

What’s Xmas like for you guys with teens? Do you enjoy it, what do you do? Is it worth making much effort etc? Do they just want to be left alone / be with friends?

Mine (13&16) still enjoy a family Christmas. They can be grumpy during term time, but once they've broken up from school and have time to chill out they are pretty genial and happy to join in with things, socialise with grandparents, cousins etc. They don't see friends much over Christmas, as all their friends are busy with family too, plus we are often away for several days staying with gp.

It's fine, it's obviously not the same as the Santa years but they get up a bit later, enjoy opening presents, they slope off for a bit and sort out any new tech or whatever they've been given. Arrive back for an early meal, play some board games, watch a movie and either slope off again or sit with us and watch something else.

One they get a bit older then they come to the pub after presents so have an incentive to be up and showered and dressed (in any new gear). Dinner after pub and movie and games.

My experience and that of my friends is that the more a teenager appears to be nonchalant about Christmas, the more they relish every single detail of tradition!
Every suggestion that we make things a bit easier this year and a bit more relaxed, as we have no visitors coming and we are not going anywhere, is met with fierce opposition here. I think it is all tied up with the "want to leave home/don't want to leave home" thing so typical of teens.

Well, at points involved a lot of Xbox (with their friends) and popping down for important stuff like sorting the Christmas tree (sometimes), having Christmas dinner or opening the gifts.

It was only magical when there were other teens added to the equation, then we all would have a merry time…

They are usually quite up for it, since it mostly involves eating and drinking..,

Board games are good - triv for when you want to get a battle going, or monopoly. They will help w decorating the tree and house, which they enjoy (send them out for Holly), they will help with bits of cooking eg mince pies, and be responsible for keeping drinks topped up at parties. They will do a walk if there’s a pub at the end of it, ditto a play or concert.

Give them jobs, pay for stuff, do some activities like games.. and accept they will need to slope off in between.. if you can be welcoming to their friends also, it will help it remain a hub.

.. you house be a hub I mean

12, 14, and 19 here. Still usually find them all squeezed on one bed with their stockings on xmas morning except it's 8am rather than 5am these days! Definitely a much calmer day but I find that nice after years of manic excitement! Dinner is now their highlight of the day rather than the presents I think.

Christmas with a teen in our house includes:
Christmas eve sausage roll making. She also likes to make Christmas scones- she tends to throw in, cinnamon and grated orange zest and whiskey soaked fruit.
She also whips butter puts in a bit of whiskey and cinnamon which we eat of an evening before she goes to bed.

Christmas day, she always has a game or two that we play as a family. Kazoo-oke was last years and by far our favourite.

She tends to spend the entirety of the day with us. This year she might spend quite a bit of time on her new ipad, but we will be at MIL and FILS house (if not in lockdown, and out of isolation!)

Shes excited this year. We're taking lots of Ferrero Rochers and going to drink mocktails throughout the day. =) ...she thinks it's hilarious I won't have wine to make the inlaws easier to deal with.

My DD is 16 and still wakes every year at about 4am wanting to open presents. I still wait until she is in bed Christmas Eve before I put them all out. She then goes back to bed for a nap before we go to visit family at lunch time. She still enjoys all of the traditions and family time luckily, though she does struggle with the change in routine and will need to take herself off for some quiet time alone to recharge at some point during the day. She does have some mild (undiagnosed) SEN.

Dd1 who is 17 is quite keen. She helps out with the big Christmas food shop and Christmas day is the one day of the year when she will get out of bed without nagging. She delurks for dinner, boardgames and the occasional Christmas movie :)

I have a teen but also two younger ones so I'm sure it doesn't apply to me until the youngest are teens but even then I'll still go big regardless of age lol.

My teens were miserable, at about 13 Xmas completely changed because I was 'too old' and there was nothing special about it and I will never push that on my kids. They will never be too old, even if they come back for xmas at 50 I'll still go all out.

I'll be lost when they no longer spend Xmas here though and it's just me and DH bumbling about though.

DS(17) cooked Christmas dinner last year with minimal guidance. He's all set for the same this year as I'm working and we will not eat till 10pm if we leave it to DH

Their plan is to get up and have breakfast (bacon sandwiches) then DS will drive them to the village (new driver, every journey is a novelty!) where he will endure the carol service for DH's benefit, then to the pub for a pint before heading home. I imagine DS will drive home, if he has a drink they will walk which will take around 40 minutes.

It's still lovely, but different

I remember Xmas when I was a teen - switching to dinner in the evening felt more grown up which I liked, not feeling so pressed into a child role. I also liked being given / allowed to do jobs like a bit of cooking or something outdoors - both for feeling more trusted and for a chance to slope off!

I love Christmas more than ever with teenagers!
They still have their stockings but the later start and slow enjoyment of the day is lovely.
We eat lots, drink lots and play games, watch films etc
It's so much less stressful and tiring!

Still ok here with teens/early 20s. Much later start to Xmas day usually due to them being out xmas eve. Suits me though, as long as it’s not too late!

They still love the traditions we created when they were little, new PJs Xmas eve …. one DD woke me up at 12.30’after the pub on Xmas eve, “have you still done the Xmas PJs” 🤣

So different but still lovely. Making cocktails, watching Xmas films. Including boyfriends/friends.

I have a 16 year old who lives with me and an 18 year old son who doesn't.
My son came to help cut down the tree and go to a Christmas market one weekend, and 80% it was fine, then he exploded over some trivial thing. He has been going through a few issues recently. But on the day we have fun, opening presents, preparing the meal then board games and a movie. He is only with us from late Christmas Eve until the 27th due to work, so I'm hoping his temper will be kept in check. Neither are interested in seeing friends who are all busy anyway. My 16 year old is a dream and is happy to get involved with everything.

Yay for the teens who’re competent in the kitchen!

Might steal the sausage roll idea.

Oh yes… the 4am start. He sleeps until 1pm everyday of the holiday then wakes us all up at 4 on Christmas day.

He is technically an adult now

My favourite thing about my teen is that he hates everything right now, but suggest changing one detail of his normal Christmas Day and he's in a total funk. We've people coming on Christmas Eve (most unusual) so the request to move the annual viewing of Elf to the day before Christmas Eve is currently being pondered!

Just accept they'll probably do a bit of sloping off, give them some jobs to do, make some things non-negotiable (like our dog walk) and they'll be fine.

I suppose it is different with older teens as I remember being hungover Christmas day if I had been to the pub Christmas Eve and so would be rather quiet!
Mine are young teens and so a mixture of joining in and having time in their rooms. Both still excited for stockings and family coming over etc. Eldest is working quite a bit so that’s a change for us ferrying her to and from the local pub but she’s really enjoying earning her own cash.
I think you can keep all of the traditions it’s just more relaxed and no matter how grumpy they are inside they still want some presents and nice food.
I’m hoping as mine get older I can be cool about Christmas and just keep an open house and let the ebb and flow of changes happen whilst their priorities change.
As long as they aren’t rude or critical of what you do for them and can still be arsed to help or spend some time joining in. It must be hard if there is negativity and sneering or they just want to be elsewhere.

Love it!

XH always goes to his new partners family for Christmas so it's just me and DD.

We make a day of Christmas Eve...beach walk, brunch, then pamper sesh at home, chilling out and baked camembert for tea.

Get up about 8 on Christmas Day, pastries and bucks fizz for breakfast, open presents then round to my mum's for Christmas Dinner (which I'll cook).

My DS is an an only DC and, thinking about it, he's never had a big, noisy family Christmas... cousins are much, much older so he's only every spent Christmas with grandparents and 'single' aunts & uncles. I don't think we've ever been woken up early on Christmas Day ... we used to have to wake him up . Christmas has always been quiet and peaceful ... Church, walk, board games, big meal, watch a film ... so no real difference as he got older. One year he wanted to work in a hotel so we adjusted out timings around that (I loved working Christmas Day as a teenager- £££££££s!).

I have 4 and my youngest has just turned 18. I have loved their teenage Christmas's. They have relished in our traditions. Helped bring in a new one after the loss of mil (we now all sit and watch white christmas where as before it was her as we finished dinner off) I suggested we get rid of 1 tradition and it was met with an uproar they all"need' a pj from x on chrisrmas eve and they "need" to tell the bad jokes. Its a different sort of christmas but very enjoyable

Loads of positive reposes which is nice to hear. Although I wonder if mine are just not into Xmas, or if I’ve just failed as a mother.

Mine are all so different. Eldest really doesn’t seem to want to spend any time with us at the best of time. would rather be in the pub, with his gf, asleep. He’ll enjoy the booze and food but that’s about it. He’s a skint student so won’t have got anyone anything present wise and to be fair never really wants / expect anything much in return. Come to think of it I’m no sure he’s that into Xmas.

2 younger teens swing from wanting to be 10 again and getting all excited, helping etc through to wanting to shut themselves in their rooms. Depending on hormones probably.

I find it draining keeping up with the swinging moods and varying approach to Xmas festivities from each teen and each day!

We have never changed anything since they were little - the early wake ups still happen sometimes and they are always keen to get up and see what 'Santa' has brought them. I think keeping the element of surprise has helped