Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

How do you remember passed loved ones?

110 replies

chillydownwiththefiregang · 12/12/2021 21:55

I lost my grandmother to Covid- and I'm planning on raising a toast to her this Christmas. I'm interested if anyone has any special ways they remember a loved one at Christmas? ♥️

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MrsJackWhicher · 13/12/2021 18:48

I wear my grandmother’s wedding ring

Createdjustforthis · 13/12/2021 18:59

Tell their stories, no one is really gone until they’re forgotten. I tell stories to my children about the grandparents I never met that were related to me by my mother.

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 13/12/2021 19:02

This thread has me in tears 😭 what lovely things you all do ❤️

I used to help me dgp's put their decorations up every year, when they passed away I kept their box of 'special' tree decorations. We have a smaller tree on our landing that I decorate with their special baubles mixed with some of our usual ones, always brings back lovely memories ❤️

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 13/12/2021 19:05

We always used to have a big Christmas Eve supper, so I want to keep that tradition as it means so much to me. My Gran always made trifle for it, so I make the trifle now (never as good as hers was, though!)

Tal45 · 13/12/2021 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

bigbluebus · 13/12/2021 19:17

DD died 2 weeks before Christmas 5 years ago. We have special decorations for our tree - some have her name on, others were given to us by her friends.
We have her photo in her place at the dinner table on Christmas day. We go for a walk after dinner and visit her grave.

Howiremember · 13/12/2021 19:19

@Tal45

Baubles of dead people on Christmas trees give me the creeps. Much nicer to light a candle or tell stories about things you did with them IMO.
What a callous thing to say on a thread where many of us have shared how much comfort this brings us.

Insensitive as fuck.

TripleSeptic · 13/12/2021 19:23

@Darkpheonix

Do you mind if I follow along?

I lost my mum 10 days ago. I want to do something, but can't think of anything.

I hope that's OK. Smile

I worked with a lady who bought her mum a Christmas present every year after she died, a special Christmas tree ornament, so when the tree goes up, there's something special to represent every Christmas without her mum. This is my 5th Christmas without my mum and I take her anniversary day off and have lunch with my dad and be a school run mum, instead of work work work ♥️
Enko · 13/12/2021 20:01

We watch White Christmas after Chirstmas lunch. MIL loved that film and always watched it at Christmas (usually whilst we were cooking and then the end after) so now once we are full of turkey and nutroast etc we fill up chocolate and cookie trays and put on white Christmas.

I can feel her close every year. (she is missed)

MindyStClaire · 13/12/2021 20:02

My dad always raised a toast to happy days and absent friends. As is sadly the way, the absent friends list grew over the years, from grandparents to include my cousin and best friend who died in her 20s.

This is the first year without my dad, so I'll raise the toast and hope my mum is sitting next to me so I can give her hand a squeeze as I do so.

Other than that we don't do anything. It's a time to relive the happy memories as they naturally occur to us.

MoonlightMedicine · 13/12/2021 20:18

My mum died in august 2019 and my dad in March 2020. Clearing out their attic last summer I found my dad had written on a gift tag after mum had died. It simply said 'until we meet again' in his handwriting.

When I found it my heart skipped a beat. It took me a while to work out what it had been written for. It was probably for a memory tree in the care home mum had lived in. But in my soppier moments I like to think it was a gift from him for me to find.

So I had it engraved into wood and now it hangs on my tree along with many other decorations I remember from my childhood.

How do you remember passed loved ones?
Tiredalwaystired · 13/12/2021 20:39

@MoonlightMedicine

My mum died in august 2019 and my dad in March 2020. Clearing out their attic last summer I found my dad had written on a gift tag after mum had died. It simply said 'until we meet again' in his handwriting.

When I found it my heart skipped a beat. It took me a while to work out what it had been written for. It was probably for a memory tree in the care home mum had lived in. But in my soppier moments I like to think it was a gift from him for me to find.

So I had it engraved into wood and now it hangs on my tree along with many other decorations I remember from my childhood.

Well that’s me set off…

That is the most beautiful thing I’ve heard.

lollipoprainbow · 13/12/2021 21:35

@BigcatLittlecat sorry for you loss, my lovely sister died five years ago at Christmas we were also torn but as she adored Christmas we went for it in her honour !!

Original poster
chillydownwiththefiregang · 13/12/2021 21:45

@MoonlightMedicine

My mum died in august 2019 and my dad in March 2020. Clearing out their attic last summer I found my dad had written on a gift tag after mum had died. It simply said 'until we meet again' in his handwriting.

When I found it my heart skipped a beat. It took me a while to work out what it had been written for. It was probably for a memory tree in the care home mum had lived in. But in my soppier moments I like to think it was a gift from him for me to find.

So I had it engraved into wood and now it hangs on my tree along with many other decorations I remember from my childhood.

Oh gosh... I'm not crying, you're crying.

Sorry for your loss OP. How lovely.

OP posts:
MoonlightMedicine · 13/12/2021 22:29

Sending love to us all, it can be such a tough time of year x

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 13/12/2021 22:57

In 2016 my DMIL bought me a bright red table cloth as a gift as we were hosting Christmas. I got everyone present to sign the table cloth with a sharpie which I then embroidered over and we’ve done it many years since (with some breaks for COVID) with a different coloured thread for each year. DSDad died in September this year, when I got the table cloth out with the Christmas decorations it made me stop for a while and think of him. I guess as the years go on, there will be more of those moments. One day I’ll pass it on to DS for him to have those memories of his DGPs.

Pinkchocolate · 13/12/2021 23:07

@Tal45

Baubles of dead people on Christmas trees give me the creeps. Much nicer to light a candle or tell stories about things you did with them IMO.
Dead people and things surrounding death stop being creepy when it’s someone close enough to you, it’s a person that lived a long and memorable life and if I chose to hang a bauble with angel wings I couldn’t give a toss if it gives someone the creeps. Horrible thing to say! It’s my first Christmas without my darling dad. The idea of it still makes me feel sick. I have baubles and candles and have put a Santa’s hat on his grave, which he would have loved. On the day we’re not doing Christmas dinner or anything but will probably spend the day talking about him and remembering all the happiness he brought us. Sorry for everyone feeling the loss of their loved ones.
MintyCedric · 13/12/2021 23:49

@MoonlightMedicine

That is really beautiful...both the story and the decoration.

I looked at tree baubles etc but didn't find anything that resonated with me to commemorate dad.

It's lovely that you have something so personal.

Maverickess · 14/12/2021 00:10

Some really touching stories on here, I'm sorry for the losses that have created those stories ❤️

I have lost more people in the last few years than I have in the rest of my life, and some that have been complete shocks. I always keep Christmas cards until the following year as I make tags out of them, and for those that have died I put their last card up with all the others, I've also had some Christmas tree wooden decorations made with names engraved into them to hang on the branches, I had a little cry this year when I put them up and realised how many there are and thought about each person as I put them on the tree, especially the ones who've died this year.

Joystir59 · 14/12/2021 00:15

I think about her every waking minute. So no need to 'remember' her .

Joystir59 · 14/12/2021 00:16

I honour her by swimming in the sea on Christmas morning, cos she was like a seal in the water

CharlotteRose90 · 14/12/2021 00:19

In my house we follow the traditions from our loved ones. I have 2 rainbow ornaments that I hang on the tree in memory for them and we lite candles which are infront of their pictures all year round. My grandma also gave my mum some hand made table cloths so we use them. For us as a family on my mums side Christmas was always mainly celebrated on Christmas Eve and we keep to that tradition we have our massive meal and then open presents. Then Christmas Day we have Turkey dinner etc. I will follow the same way with any future children I have.

Lucienandjean · 14/12/2021 00:33

My dad died in 2019 and my mum died earlier this year. When we cleared out their house, I kept a silver table decoration Mum always used at Christmas, and I'll have it on our table this Christmas. I've also got some vintage tree ornaments from them, and it was a bit shocking to see my Dad's handwriting on the box they came in. Instantly recognisable and it brought me up short.

JaneJeffer · 14/12/2021 00:48

I go to the graveyard on Christmas morning and do a little tour of family and friends.

JaneJeffer · 14/12/2021 00:50

That's gorgeous @MoonlightMedicine

Swipe left for the next trending thread