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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

How do you remember passed loved ones?

110 replies

chillydownwiththefiregang · 12/12/2021 21:55

I lost my grandmother to Covid- and I'm planning on raising a toast to her this Christmas. I'm interested if anyone has any special ways they remember a loved one at Christmas? ♥️

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Original poster
chillydownwiththefiregang · 13/12/2021 10:44

These are all lovely.

OP posts:
Blueblossombush · 13/12/2021 10:50

I lost my loving and special grandad at 14,a very dear friend 10 years ago and my wonderful fil in March
We’ll raise a toast to loved ones with our meal,maybe a few tears and they are locked within my heart all year round
I hate this time of year-it’s just so painful,but it’s only a day and we remember lost loved ones

Driposaurus · 13/12/2021 10:54

My husbands aunt has made baubles for all the grandchildren from their grandmother’s wedding dress. They have a tiny photo in them as well. They are absolutely beautiful. I never knew her - she died 30 years ago, and the bauble was quite recent - but it means we talk about great grandma and great grandad when we decorate the tree.

BigcatLittlecat · 13/12/2021 11:32

My sister died very suddenly last Monday! As a family we are torn between cancelling Christmas or really going for it! But I know whatever we do we will commemorate her in some way! Some of these ideas are lovely!

languagelover96 · 13/12/2021 11:43

Candles in remembrance
A short poem
A prayer for the other family members

evilharpy · 13/12/2021 11:47

We have a little heart shaped photo frame tree bauble with a photo of my dad. Also some baubles from my childhood that remind me of him.

FrangipaniBlue · 13/12/2021 11:52

In between the present opening and lunch (when everyone is just mooching around doing nothing) I go visit my mums grave. I take her flowers and we have a little catch up.

I've done it every Christmas Day since she died in 2003.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 13/12/2021 11:57

I'm of pagan persuasion and for us the whole time between Samhain (Halloween) and Yule is the dark time and for the ancestors.
So the whole of that time I have a space where I put their photos, an empty place at the table lit black candles and various other things where I put things they loved.
On Yule Eve (23rd) they all go back to their normal places and the green and red candles go up in their place.
It really makes me feel better to remember them this way every years and feels like they are still part of my family.
The mexicans do it too and they are all catholics.

codexa · 13/12/2021 12:07

It is such an emotional time isn't it. Bereavement is awful any time of the year, but it can be so sad at Christmas.

I put their three photos on the windowsill in the front room, with a candle for each of them. Putting a lit candle in the window is an Irish tradition to show travellers the way, to remember loved ones, and to welcome in those who are passing, although that doesn't happen too much now!

I also talk to them in my head like others do. Pity they don't reply though!

Sincere condolences to all who are missing their loved ones, but as long as they are remembered, that's good.

Original poster
chillydownwiththefiregang · 13/12/2021 12:14

I just wish we could bring them back. Or see them again one last time.

OP posts:
MintyCedric · 13/12/2021 14:11

It's the first year without my dad for me - he passed away in May.

I'm an only child and mum and I have discovered that we grieve very differently which has been challenging. There's been no discussion about doing anything specific, other than I would have liked Christmas Day at my house away from the memories of last year when he was bedridden on end of life care, and mum wants to be at home as she feels closer to him there, so we're doing the latter.

I used to walk with dad every morning when I was a kid/teenager so my best mate and I are going to do one of those walks through the fields/woods next weekend and stop at dad's favourite pub and raise a glass to him on the way back.

I've bought the boxset of That's Entertainment documentaries about classic musicals that Dad and I watched every Christmas and will be watching those at some point with a glass of his favourite whisky.

He also had his own special spoon that I 'inherited' and have used in all my Christmas cooking.

CouncilHousedAndViolentBaby · 13/12/2021 15:28

We play my grandas favourite song Galway Bay - Daniel O'Donnell😊

FireworkParrot · 13/12/2021 16:09

I have a special ornament for the Christmas tree for loved once we've lost, some of them just one of their Christmas decorations from their tree that lives on by being placed on our tree. Others I just have a decoration that means something to me and helps me to remember them, like a gin bottle one because they loved a G&T or one that's like a globe because they loved travelling.

I also light a candle and put it in the window, to light their way home.

RestingPandaFace · 13/12/2021 16:13

I have photo baubles they were from Max Spielmann and I saw them walking past on my lunch break in Christmas Eve one year. Also not to everyone’s taste but we take a tiny Christmas tree to my DDads grave every year. He worked so hard to give us good Christmases as kids and I always want to remember that.

Retrievemysanity · 13/12/2021 16:19

My brother died in his 20’s 13 years ago. It was such an awful time but he loved Christmas so now we put the horrendous angel he made at school on top of our tree and it always makes me smile. As kids we always used to fight over whose would be used (could never remember whose was on the previous Christmas) but now he wins every year. Sorry for all your losses 🕯

alwayswrighty · 13/12/2021 16:20

You will probably all think I'm crazy!

We do raise a glass, but when I lost my Godfather I started to see a single magpie everywhere. I talk to this magpie, and always seem to have good luck when I do. It's been about 19 years and this magpie is still hanging around.

Schoolsout78 · 13/12/2021 16:21

I have a celebration ring (it's a wooden ring, Montessori style) where I place figurines my loved ones liked along with candles, flowers/foliage and their photos. Last year we had it at the dinner table and it really brought comfort to us

I'm sorry for your loss x

alwayswrighty · 13/12/2021 16:21

@Retrievemysanity that made me giggle. He's having the last laugh!

I am so sorry for everyone's losses, very hard. Especially at Christmas.

Retrievemysanity · 13/12/2021 16:24

@alwayswrighty he certainly is Grin

How do you remember passed loved ones?
Hummingbirdcake · 13/12/2021 16:25

A toast to absent loved ones.

Letter Christmas tree decorations of their initials.

One had a birthday near Christmas so we tend to mark that by getting some flowers.

alwayswrighty · 13/12/2021 16:29

@Retrievemysanity that is ace!

Beakerandbungle · 13/12/2021 17:45

Like others, my dad bought me and the Dc a Christmas tree decoration each before he died. The kids love hanging it up each year and it always prompts them to talk about their grandpa.

So sorry for everyone’s losses.

Beakerandbungle · 13/12/2021 17:45

Like others, my dad bought me and the Dc a Christmas tree decoration each before he died. The kids love hanging it up each year and it always prompts them to talk about their grandpa.

So sorry for everyone’s losses.

JustBkind · 13/12/2021 17:55

We have tree decorations and light a candle on Christmas Day for those that we loved who are no longer with us. We also share happy memories and try to keep some of their traditions alive. Although Christmas is a sad time of year when you’ve lost someone dear, it’s also one of the best times to remember how important family and friends are to us xx

Tiredalwaystired · 13/12/2021 18:38

My mum died close to Christmas. We bought a special glass bauble with an angel in it

Every year it is the last thing to be put on the tree to finish it off (and it has to have a place with an eye line to the telly so she can still watch her favourites Smile)