Page 3 | How to prevent kids being overwhelmed with all the gifts.

pontpint · 2021-12-03T21:44:21+00:00

Our almost 4 year old was really overwhelmed with all the gifts last year. Loves receive presents but just couldnt handle more than two or three things. Ended up saving lots of them until their birthday. I definitely didnt go overboard last time either. Anyone has any tips on how to ensure we dont get the same thing this year?

Camomila · 04/12/2021 07:55

How many gifts do other 3-4 year olds get

Mine get 2 big toys (one from us, one from Father Christmas) and a new book on Chrustmas eve. Stockings on the 6th Jan.

By the time everyone else has given them presents - 2 sets of grandparents, 2 uncles, godmother, plus new book from nursery it feels like loads!

Cherryrainbow · 04/12/2021 08:12

Combo of buy less and/or spread them out. This year by son is having xmas at his dads so my 1 year old daughter is going to have some stuff xmas day (can open as and when in the day, no rush) and some bits have been put aside to open boxing day when big bro opens his as well.

Fallagain · 04/12/2021 08:23

Buy an awful lot less. They don’t want piles of stuff. Keep remembering piles of stuff will upset them. Keep the wider family on board too. Concentrate on low stress activities and craft in the room up to Christmas eg put together a gingerbread house and stamps.

Cuwins · 04/12/2021 08:25

@oobedobe

I had one child at that age that would open all her gifts one after the other until she was done and one that took her time and would open one, play with it for ages then we might say do you want to open something else? Some years she didn't open everything until the next day.

We put all our gifts from family and us under the tree in one big pile so it looks like a decent amount but not overwhelming for one person.

We do sacks with small/medium gifts and treats from Santa first thing in the morning, then everything else is opened later on, around 11ish once we are dressed, got snacks and a drink and we take turns, so it rather than it all being over in a flash we can sit around and see what each other has for an hour or so.

When the kids were younger and if there was a specific thing they had been desperate for from santa that would go next to their sack to be opened early too, but as they got older they are happy to wait and build the anticipation.

We never did the ripping wrapping off in a frenzy thing, and neither did I growing up, so it seems normal to us.

Similar here. As kids it was always presents from under the tree handed out in turn to people and we would all (normally it was only the 4 of us sometimes a grandparent added) watch and see what they had got. Still do the same thing now, meant present opening took a while but you had time to appreciate the things as you opened them and also to enjoy the act of giving. When we go to my partners house for Xmas day I am always the last opening my presents as they hand them all out at the beginning, pile them up then all open at the same time. I'm too busy looking at what everyone else has got to open mine!

UndertheCedartree · 04/12/2021 08:57

I find spreading them out works well. So stockings first thing, then breakfast. Then open main present(s) under the tree. After Christmas dinner open any more from you. Then Boxing day open presents from other people.

saleorbouy · 04/12/2021 09:11

Speak to relatives and limit the presents. My mother used to take to less loved gifts out 9f circulation and then produce them on those rainy days inside,much to our delight. Nothing like a new toy part way through the year.
We encouraged grandparents to do small gifts and if they wanted to give more to add to a savings account.

Xtraincome · 04/12/2021 09:12

I know what you mean OP. Unless you are explicitly clear with family to just buy one item it's tricky.

DD6 will be turning 7 on the 20th December so we are really inundated with stuff. This might not be popular but we are in the mindset of: let them just open presents until they want to stop. Our 2 DDs can stop after 2 as they just want to play with what they've got. I would rather them just engage with the things they like.

The real issue isn't the gifts- it's the unwrapping of each gift that kids find pointless. Everyone is watching them and it can be quite overwhelming. Just choose how you as a family want to do things.

This year the DDs asked FC for 2 things we can easily obtain. So me and DH know if we want to have a peaceful glass of Bucks Fizz (or a quick cuddle IYSWIM) and watch an Xmas movie we let them open those gifts first 😉

wannalivelikecommonpeople · 04/12/2021 09:14

Space it out. Ive given a couple things already

We will do family gifts with my family the wekend before xmas, see In laws on xmas day and then save our gifts until afterwards or do a few before

Icebreaker99 · 04/12/2021 09:14

But it would also be weird if they only got the presents from our family but not ourselves.

Why is it weird? Can't you simply say, "We're keeping the gifts from us back so he/she doesn't get overwhelmed/can really appreciate what everyone else has given them"

You seem a bit too concerned with what others will think than how to make it easier on you and your child.

gospelsinger · 04/12/2021 09:55

Its really hard to resist the social pressure that says you as parents should be buying a 'big present'. You know your child best.
Set a limit to the number of items in a stocking. Don't wrap them in the stocking - you will thank yourself in years to come.
Don't give any other present from yourself on Christmas day. I have to admit, I would find this difficult, but it sounds like you know it is the best plan. You will be able to think more clearly about what your DC wants and needs at a different time of year.
At that age, I didn't spend loads, because I reasoned that they would want something big when older and I would buy it then.

Courtier · 04/12/2021 10:00

@pontpint

Honestly reading everyone else's lists - I already dont buy all that much. But my kid would get overwhelmed with more than two gifts per day, dont other four year olds? I did spread them out last time but even that took a week (if you include family and friends' gifts as well).

No other 4 year olds don't get overwhelmed by more than 2 gifts...

rifling · 04/12/2021 10:07

You really need advice on this? Just buy less! If you really can't stop yourself, why not donate some presents instead. Plenty of children don't get any.

FindingMeno · 04/12/2021 10:10

I would talk to other people who buy gifts and perhaps aim for fewer but better quality presents.
Or clubbing together for something. Or a day out instead of a gift.
Enjoy this. I doubt it'll last.

Lovemusic33 · 04/12/2021 10:17

You could buy experiences rather than gifts to unwrap? I always ask relatives to give cash or vouchers as my dc enjoy a shopping trip during the Christmas holidays to buy what ever they want from smyths.

We also spread out the presents over the day, all gifts go under the tree and they just open when they want too, as they got older they opened them quicker and now they are teens they take their time again 🤣.

Addicted2Sugar · 04/12/2021 10:20

When mine were younger I used to space their presents out over 3 days.
I remember being at a Christmas gathering with DH's family and my nirces and nephews (who I adore) were ripping through presents barely looking at each one. I tried to be like a Victorian throwback saying let's each watch each other open one and then move on to the next one. They looked at me like I had 3 heads. It made me lay down rules for my own as they got older though.
We take our time and watch each other and try to enjoy the opening process.
Now they are 8 and 10 there's less presents and more money/vouchers.

peboh · 04/12/2021 10:22

This year for dd I've only bought two toys for her to open. She will also have a stocking, but again minimal amounts in this. I've given a couple toy ideas to some family members, and others are gifting money for days out, or clothes. I think it's too easy to buy into christmas, and present piles etc. when really young children are happy with one or two things, especially as they usually only play with a handful of their toys anyway.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/12/2021 10:23

@rifling

You really need advice on this? Just buy less! If you really can't stop yourself, why not donate some presents instead. Plenty of children don't get any.

Thing is OP is saying he gets overwhelmed by more than 2 presents which even if thry buy nothing, or people club together, it's likely to be more than 2. And I'd say it's unusual enough that they need to be looking at it more closely. So is it the pressure - do they all sit around in a circle watching him and firing questions at him about how much does he love it? Is he usually anxious? Etc

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 04/12/2021 10:52

I agree with SleepingStandingUp, it's unusual that he's becoming overwhelmed after only a couple of presents. Is it the same on his birthday pontpint? Is he becoming very very wound up & excited in the lead up?

My dc (11, 10, 8, 6, 4) end up with quite a lot of presents once family & friends are added in. Like others we do stockings then breakfast/ shower, then slowly open the others throughout the day, stopping while I'm in the kitchen/for lunch. We take turns opening, not a pile in free for all. We usually go for a walk just as it's getting dark, to see the lights, so stop at 3:30 regardless, then have a hot drink at the fence with our next door neighbour after a light dinner, then bed. If there are presents remaining, so be it. They'll be opened Boxing Day (or after). They're given time to play with things as they open if they want to/ or just sit & watch some tv. This has always seemed to work well & no one has ever become particularly overwhelmed. They like to take time over their presents. Obviously children are excited in the week before Christmas but I try & keep things quite calm & normal, lots of outside time (weather permitting) & calm activities. We're lucky ours don't rise early on Christmas Day, I think the earliest they've been up is 7:30 (this is not down to us as parents, it's just how they seem to be).

Nsky · 04/12/2021 11:46

I recall years ago, someone buying a string of pearls for their daughters 2nd birthday, made complete sense.
I think a lovely shopping trip with an Aunty could be fun, aiming for a fun necklace or something.money in an account with maybe token chocolate on the day

Original poster

pontpint · 04/12/2021 14:57

So DC would get completely overwhelmed with say three presents but it's the whole day. From stockings in the morning to the presents under the tree from Santa, then two sets of families each yes giving a couple of presents each - all staring. We've long given up giving presents to the adults but seeing as they are the only child in our family - it is basically eight to ten adults watching my kid opening their presents one by one.

OP posts:

TeenMinusTests · 04/12/2021 15:23

My younger DD, now 17, can get easily overwhelmed at Christmas.
I think you need to advocate for your child. Tell the relatives that they get overwhelmed and you are sorry but he won't be opening presents in front of them all.
We used to hold presents back all the way to new year if needed.
We also find other helpful strategies such as

not have tree lights on
allowing her to be antisocial and chill in another room for a while
not too many guests

etc

SleepingStandingUp · 05/12/2021 17:19

@pontpint

So DC would get completely overwhelmed with say three presents but it's the whole day. From stockings in the morning to the presents under the tree from Santa, then two sets of families each yes giving a couple of presents each - all staring. We've long given up giving presents to the adults but seeing as they are the only child in our family - it is basically eight to ten adults watching my kid opening their presents one by one.

So it isn't about banning everyone from buying presents, it's about changing the routine of every one sat perched on the end of the chair whilst he opens them and acts appropriately.

Do they pop round for presents only? Are they there for lunch? You need to distract the audience, one option would be cheap presents for visitors so they've got something to open. Telly on so there's something else going on? Telling them in advance he finds it really hard when everyone is sat there silently starting at him for an hour