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Christmas

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Original poster

How to prevent kids being overwhelmed with all the gifts.

72 replies

pontpint · 03/12/2021 21:44

Our almost 4 year old was really overwhelmed with all the gifts last year. Loves receive presents but just couldnt handle more than two or three things. Ended up saving lots of them until their birthday. I definitely didnt go overboard last time either. Anyone has any tips on how to ensure we dont get the same thing this year?

OP posts:
DaisyNGO · 03/12/2021 22:36

@SparklingLime

Buy less?
This. You might also need to ask others to limit gifts and even expenditure.
Stompythedinosaur · 03/12/2021 22:39

We only ever open 2-3 gifts at a time. It took days to open gifts when the dc are little.

Original poster
pontpint · 03/12/2021 22:41

Maybe we'll need to limit the gifts. At the moment - it's basically a gift from each member of our immediate family - so four from grandparents and one each from our sibling. There arent any other grandchildren at the moment so everyone wants to buy something. But thats still at least eight gifts from the family - plus three-four from us and a stocking. Thats when it all got too much

OP posts:
InTheLabyrinth · 03/12/2021 22:44

Just one from you then. And top it up mid year if needed.

Wombat69 · 03/12/2021 22:45

I'm trying to work out how to ask for the few presents I get to be unwrapped as I can't cope. Didn't as a kid, still don't. 😁

Not everyone enjoys too much stuff all at once, too overwhelming. It would be kinder to have less and/or spread it out.

LilyandBilly · 03/12/2021 22:46

@CatOfTheLand

Oh god - I really feel you! My DC are exactly the same.

What we do is slow things right down - stocking is opened in our bedroom. Pause to play with toys and for dh to put on coffee / start breakfast.

Father Christmas toys are put in a sack so that they can dip into them when they are ready and aren't visually overloaded by all the presents (only a few). The presents from family are under the tree and mummy + daddy presents are put in another place. This sounds like loads, but it's only a few.

We let the DC pause to play with and enjoy each gift before moving to the next. We don't rush them through and opening presents can take two days if that's what they are feeling.

We pause for breakfast, sausage rolls at 11am, and a walk before or after Christmas dinner.

I'll put things in their advent calendar that hints to the main presents eg. Peppa Pig figures and the main gift will be a play set for them.

They get a Christmas Eve box which has a few bits they'd otherwise get on Christmas Day - toothbrush, bath stuff, new clothes, pjs etc

I think the key is letting them go at their own pace and not letting adults egg them on to churn through the gifts.

This is assuming your DM isn’t a present-buying lunatic who would probably never speak to you again if DC didn’t frantically open all their presents by 9am 🙄

Tried to ask to tone it down in many different ways, falls on deaf ears

DoubleShotEspresso · 03/12/2021 22:50

I'd agree with previous posts advising to buy less.
Our child is autistic among many other things and so the "demand" of opening multiple presents coupled with the general excitement abd over stimulation of the day means we do maybe 4 gifts throughout the day on Christmas Day and then one a day for the remainder of the holiday. Been doing this for three years now and we brief all visiting family so that they're on board - works really well and I think ultimately they get to appreciate and enjoy the gifts a bit better too.

SickAndTiredAgain · 03/12/2021 22:52

I’d just let her spread them out, and reduce what you buy if you know she’ll get lots from others.

It’s easy to say buy less, but my DD has two sets of grandparents and five sets of great grandparents (due to divorce and remarriage), so that’s 7 sets of people buying gifts without counting DH and I, or her three aunts/uncles. None of them really go overboard individually, but together it adds up so we keep that in mind when buying our own presents for DD.

scrivette · 03/12/2021 22:54

It's not always as simple as buying less. My DC are very lucky and have lots of friends/family who buy for them and the amount they get could be overwhelming.

We let them open their stockings when they wake up to get that 'frenzy' they seem to enjoy, then have breakfast, then space gift giving out during the day.

We see family on Boxing Day so they have a few more gifts then and usually have at least one to open the day after.

Original poster
pontpint · 03/12/2021 22:55

@SickAndTiredAgain exactly, we don't buy much but the whole family wants to watch DC open their presents on Christmas day when we all gather together. It's sweet, in a way, but at the very least they would get 12 presents all at once. Don't have the heart to tell the grandparents they wont get to see them opening theirs. But it would also be weird if they only got the presents from our family but not ourselves.

OP posts:
SprayedWithDettol · 03/12/2021 22:57

Perhaps a savings account that family can add to rather than buying so many gifts.

DaisyNGO · 03/12/2021 23:05

Scrivette "It's not always as simple as buying less. My DC are very lucky and have lots of friends/family who buy for them and the amount they get could be overwhelming. "

That's why we asked people to pull back initially. It's not a big family but we found one cousin in particular got carried away. Now we've ended up with strict limits which will get me called names on MN.

We just didn't want little DC getting into lots of gifts and pricey gifts and thinking it was normal.

When I were a lass, this were all fields 😂 I actually think the book, record, chocs, we got were fine. Also when they are little you don't have to worry about computer games and school peers and so on.

CatOfTheLand · 03/12/2021 23:12

@LilyandBilly sadly, she is! And it's overwhelming mountains of unwanted and unsuitable tat mainly 😭😭😭. Think clothes age 6 for a 2-year-old and broken secondhand toys.

It's why we have Christmas just ourselves and have a mini Christmas with each side of the family before the big day (because it's just too full on and overwhelming otherwise). I didn't suggest this though as it's often impossible politically.

We have to ask one grandparent, repeatedly, not to open the dc's presents for them and rip open packets and tip stuff out. It's infuriating.

Another thing we do is sneak toys away to go in the cupboard for later or to be regifted if there's too many

Timeisavirtue · 03/12/2021 23:15

When DS 13 was younger from aged 2-5 he would open like 2 presents, get a bit overwhelmed, it would take him days to open all of them. I remember an occasion when he still had some left to open from Christmas on his birthday and that was 11 days later. Now he’s super speedy and loves opening them 🤣

Smileatthesmallthings · 03/12/2021 23:16

Do you give the family ideas for what to buy for your DC? I know roughly what DS (5 in Jan) is getting from everyone so I know what variety there is. Some things will be instantly played with, some board games and books that will be appreciated later in the day. An outside toy or 2 that will encourage everyone to get outside for a while and a new dressing gown and slippers for bedtime. We don't rush the day and just go with the flow and pace that everyone is happy with. My grandma will arrive with a bag of random things on boxing day because she loves a big pile of gifts. Saying that, DS has never been overwhelmed by presents and he's very excited by the whole thing this year. He will test into everything at great speed and probably seen ungrateful, but once everything is open he will go through it all and play/read/wear and enjoy it.

oobedobe · 03/12/2021 23:18

I had one child at that age that would open all her gifts one after the other until she was done and one that took her time and would open one, play with it for ages then we might say do you want to open something else? Some years she didn't open everything until the next day.

We put all our gifts from family and us under the tree in one big pile so it looks like a decent amount but not overwhelming for one person.

We do sacks with small/medium gifts and treats from Santa first thing in the morning, then everything else is opened later on, around 11ish once we are dressed, got snacks and a drink and we take turns, so it rather than it all being over in a flash we can sit around and see what each other has for an hour or so.

When the kids were younger and if there was a specific thing they had been desperate for from santa that would go next to their sack to be opened early too, but as they got older they are happy to wait and build the anticipation.

We never did the ripping wrapping off in a frenzy thing, and neither did I growing up, so it seems normal to us.

HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 03/12/2021 23:21

We had this, so the following year we just presented stockings. Then in the afternoon it was a gift under the tree. Later on another one.

We did 2 or 3 a day until they were all open.

The following year he was over it and they were all.open very quickly.

Barney60 · 04/12/2021 00:02

Mine when they were 4 would happily rip paper off and play in and with the boxes unless edible. I think lockdowninfinitys is a good idea 1 for each of the 12 days, or say to others buying give £3 - £5 .00 or more if they want obviously, and put into a bank account for when older.

Timetoeat · 04/12/2021 00:24

We are going to give our similar aged child a present on Christmas Eve from us, let him open gifts from family when they give them so that helps spread it out. On Christmas Day, we will follow his lead. We will put some aside and let him open them the following day if he is happy to do that.
We might hold one back for New year's Day ,might start a tradition 👍

Angliski · 04/12/2021 00:27

Don’t buy so many?

SleepingStandingUp · 04/12/2021 00:35

Do the whole family descend en mass or is it split up?

I don't think 12 gifts is a lot for a 4 year old to handle over a day. I get present fatigue, but if they're not coping with opening more than 2 presents a day I probably would be querying of there's anything else going on.

IN general terms I'd say stocking in bed / before breakfast. If they want to play with something,, stoking goes away.

If family all seem to visit pre lunch, hold yours back. Let him open each one as it comes but if he doesn't want to, just tell Granny he's overwhelmed and you'll film it for them.

Give one of your presents after dinner if he finishes first so he can play with it at the table.

Do the rest of the presents over the afternoon / next day ( week

Ylvamoon · 04/12/2021 00:40

Keep it basic and simple, don't just buy toys, get practical stuff as well!
Our "family tradition" has always been main present from Santa on Christmas Day. Small token present from us on Christmas eve after dinner. Presents from other family members as we visited them around Christmas...

NoSquirrels · 04/12/2021 02:56

[quote pontpint]@SickAndTiredAgain exactly, we don't buy much but the whole family wants to watch DC open their presents on Christmas day when we all gather together. It's sweet, in a way, but at the very least they would get 12 presents all at once. Don't have the heart to tell the grandparents they wont get to see them opening theirs. But it would also be weird if they only got the presents from our family but not ourselves.[/quote]
It’s not ‘weird’ to not get a present from you on the day at this age if it’s what your child needs.

Equally, if you don’t have the heart to tell grandparents/family then that’s your choice but you’re choosing to overwhelm your young DC for adults’ happiness…

This year you’ve got the big present done already.
Give the YOTO on Boxing Day.
Just stocking Christmas morning.

If you’ve got local family then they can come watch him open their gifts another day? Or ask a set of the grandparents if they want to come for Christmas morning present opening, then only open the other grandparents present in the afternoon get-together. Aunts and uncles will understand.

BarbaraofSeville · 04/12/2021 07:44

Glad people are saying 'buy less' and suggesting buying at other times of year or putting money in savings accounts instead, because it's just mad to spend a lot of money for the sake of it, when DC don't even want half the stuff and get overwhelmed all on one day. Plus the waste and environmental impact.

If you buy them things like bikes, play houses or whatever as a matter of routine when they need them, instead of 'for Christmas' they won't feel they're missing out if they don't have a huge pile at Christmas and they won't be overwhelmed.

Experiences like annual passes for animal parks or whatever might be a good choice, as these can be used all year round without a huge accumulation of stuff that you might not want or they won't play with, could break or you don't have room for. Or definitely tell people that it's fine to put money in savings accounts instead. Instead of wasting money on presents they don't want or need, it could build up to a significant sum when they are older.

EdithWeston · 04/12/2021 07:54

@pontpint

How many gifts do other 3-4 year olds get?
Aside from stocking (which was mainly lots of little treats) one present from each parent, each set of grandparents, aunts and uncles, their, siblings maybe a godparent or friend. So up to about a dozen.

Gosh, it does sound a lot when you write it down!