Does anyone do table gifts?

[Ginandslippers]

Hi there,
Does anyone do little gifts on the table on Christmas day and if so, do you have any fun ideas?
For various reasons we are having to spend Christmas day with a part of the family who we don't usually, and they are insisting that we don't need to bring ANYTHING! And have been firm to the point that they will be offended if we turn up with the usual host type gifts/contributions of wine or special extras such as chocolates - they want to provide everything.
I was just trying to think of something small and special extra I can do for the day without offending or treading on toes.
If any ideas then I need something for a late 50's couple, an early 40's couple and 2 tweenagers.
Thanks in advance!

I don't usually but I am this year instead of crackers. For the laydeez I bought some mini homemade jams (yes from the WI!) in cute little cardboard house giftboxes. For the menfolk I've bought plantable wildflower seed cards. Hoping to offset a little bit of the seasonal waste...

[quote KaryBrown]Another amazing ideea is socks packed in a handmade cracker or you can buy one from www.sockgeeks.co.uk/products/christmas-socks-collection-sock-crackers-pack-of-two?variant=39597174751312[/quote]
Why? Just more throw away stuff to pollute the planet
No-one needs or wants Christmas socks- particularly not on Christmas Day.

The amount of control freakery here is eye watering. It's exceptionally rude and ungrateful to bemoan gifts IMO.

Having said that, I'd definitely take a gift for the host as a thank you for doing all the work, as an acknowledgment and thank you. Not something to take away from their "theme" or whatever, something to be squirrelled away just for them.

I like to gift these as an example :

www.thedatery.co.uk/products/the-datery-experience?variant=39324909174877

They have made very clear about where they stand. Why do something somebody has told you would offend them? 🙄

They clearly have their reasons. Lots of people don’t want gifts: environmental reasons being one of them.

Scratch card very bad idea for 2 tweens. How would one feel if the other wins?

Oh just save yourself the effort of spending money on something they don't want, asked you not to get, and will most likely end up in the bin.
Of course they'll be polite, act all grateful though.
What's the point.

@StCharlotte

I don't usually but I am this year instead of crackers. For the laydeez I bought some mini homemade jams (yes from the WI!) in cute little cardboard house giftboxes. For the menfolk I've bought plantable wildflower seed cards. Hoping to offset a little bit of the seasonal waste...

Wow there’s nothing as festive as sex stereotypes is there? Jam for ladies in the kitchen. Seeds for men in the garden. 😂 I thought it was 2021 not 1951. 🙄

Agree with others, they have made it clear not to bring anything and you should respect their wishes ... People turning up with unwanted contributions can be really awkward.

A bottle of proper fizz never comes amiss. You can say it’s for their New Year.
I honestly wouldn’t take table presents or scratch cards. TBH I’m not keen on table presents anyway - there are always more than enough presents in this house. We like corny old crackers - it’s not Christmas dinner here without the daft hats and jokes - and the hilariously tat-fastic tat.

I don't usually but I am this year instead of crackers. For the laydeez I bought some mini homemade jams (yes from the WI!) in cute little cardboard house giftboxes. For the menfolk I've bought plantable wildflower seed cards. Hoping to offset a little bit of the seasonal waste...
And how are you offsetting the seasonal sexism?

@hotmeatymilk

I don't usually but I am this year instead of crackers. For the laydeez I bought some mini homemade jams (yes from the WI!) in cute little cardboard house giftboxes. For the menfolk I've bought plantable wildflower seed cards. Hoping to offset a little bit of the seasonal waste... And how are you offsetting the seasonal sexism?

How are you offsetting the seasonal waste?

@Ragwort

Agree with others, they have made it clear not to bring anything and you should respect their wishes ... People turning up with unwanted contributions can be really awkward.

Maybe give the hosting person a beautiful pointsetta or other seasonal plant? You would not be stealing their glory that way.

I meant to say I agree with the post I quoted, , don't bring stuff they asked you not to. But maybe a plant would be ok?

Why would anyone 'cringe' or 'seethe' if a guest brought gifts or scratchcards?

Not in any particular order; they're ugly on my pretty table, gambling isn't Christmassy, gambling is a common hidden addiction, gambling isn't good for children, it's divisive if someone wins and wasted if they don't, it's a tax on the stupid.

That's a few reasons!

Gosh all of these hosts with their military precision set tables overlook one important thing... The people sat around your table!
Having everything 'just so' creates a very tense environment. You can just imagine guests arriving home afterwards saying "I'm glad that's all over, let's have a proper drink and nibbles and relax. Probably starving having been so polite they took the minimum servings or daren't move anything on the table for fear of being glared at.
Fussy hosts give off an air, they probably don't realise, but they do.

With regards to the hosts requests not to being anything. Flowers and a lovely card afterwards is our preferred choice.

Send thank you flowers next day.
They've clearly asked you not to bring anything.

This.
Also about the scratch card idea , as a pp mentioned if somebody wins a lot other guests may be unhappy, I am afraid I would not be pleased with someone giving scratch cards to the tweens and if they won this could cause all kinds of resentment.
Please abide by their wishes and send a gift afterwards.

Sorry I meant to quote this but bloody phone didn't compute.

Ffs. It was meant to quote Honeymint. Sorry folks

@hotmeatymilk

I don't usually but I am this year instead of crackers. For the laydeez I bought some mini homemade jams (yes from the WI!) in cute little cardboard house giftboxes. For the menfolk I've bought plantable wildflower seed cards. Hoping to offset a little bit of the seasonal waste... And how are you offsetting the seasonal sexism?

Oh yawn.

I know my audience and I know who hasn"t got a garden.

Another vote for flowers in a water bag or a plant, not champagne unless you know they like it (it wouldn't get drunk here). Definitely not table presents and scratch cards would be a total no.

How are you offsetting the seasonal waste?
Me? Well, for starters, by not creating it in the first place with “table tat gifts”. Offsetting is a bullshit concept designed to make people feel like they’re coming out neutral. Better not to do the stuff in the first place that you want to offset.

We don't do this and planning a smaller after dinner entertainment sounds great. You could make a Chrismas songs quiz in a form of a christmas slideshow or print out a bingo game and prepare small gifts for the winners (like chocolates or nice cards).

Are you just going for the day or staying over?

If you are staying then taking the tweens out, maybe to the cinema or for some shopping, on Xmas Eve would probably be appreciated.

Let them pick something for the hosts, and bring them back exhausted.

One thing I've done when staying somewhere is check out the freezer and fill it up with nice versions of the things in there. This might not work at Xmas when people usually have food in but you can check.

Flowers afterwards is another thing that usually goes down well, but I would talk to a local florist and have one of those arrangements that somes with its own water so it can go straight on to the table.