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Christmas

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Original poster

Does anyone do table gifts?

84 replies

Ginandslippers · 29/11/2021 17:52

Hi there,
Does anyone do little gifts on the table on Christmas day and if so, do you have any fun ideas?
For various reasons we are having to spend Christmas day with a part of the family who we don't usually, and they are insisting that we don't need to bring ANYTHING! And have been firm to the point that they will be offended if we turn up with the usual host type gifts/contributions of wine or special extras such as chocolates - they want to provide everything.
I was just trying to think of something small and special extra I can do for the day without offending or treading on toes.
If any ideas then I need something for a late 50's couple, an early 40's couple and 2 tweenagers.
Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Fros · 29/11/2021 20:10

I was raised with table gifts instead of crackers. I was also raised that you don't visit without bringing some form of host/ess gift.

That being said, as host, I'd be annoyed if you asked and then ignored me if when I said don't bring anything. Especially if I was clear (No means no ffs)

Don't take scratch cards or alcohol, as these are common addictions and Xmas is stressful/tempting enough.

Offer to help with the washing up but don't insist.

If you cannot 'leave it', arrange for flowers to be delivered a few days after you've been and gone as a 'Thank you'. That way you're not hijacking your host's celebration, providing potentially problematic gifts, or doing chores (that could be done later) when your host had been expecting to socialise.

HeddaGarbled · 29/11/2021 20:14

Perhaps the children are making home made crackers and your table gifts will spoil it.

FinallyHere · 29/11/2021 20:18

This one made me smile.

When we host, I really don't want any contributions to the event. I will have planned the decorations, food and drink. There will be a subtle theme which not everyone will even notice but gives me enormous pleasure.

We are past the time when we couldn't afford to host in this way, as students we had to do the whole everyone being something thing.

Now, I don't want to have to accommodate last minute contributions, especially since I would already have chosen what to include and what not. I always reassure guests that we only want the pleasure of their company.

The twist in the tail that this doesn't mean I expect visitors to turn up with 'both arms the same length', that is nothing at all.

I would never mention it if they do bring nothing at all and be completely charmed if they do bring something that does not need any attention on the day. Something that can be enjoyed when all is done.

Chocolates, wine, flowers in an aquapak or a plant, anything that needs no attention at all.

Complicated, isn't it.

Totalwasteofpaper · 29/11/2021 20:22

For me, I would take nothing but send a thank you card flowers and champagne after for NYE

Sn0tnose · 29/11/2021 20:38

Little horrid cellophane bags of landfill

Mostly recyclable card & consumables or reusables actually but, acknowledging I’ll be sending six cellophane bags to landfill, I’m more than happy to compare carbon footprints if you fancy it?

languagelover96 · 29/11/2021 20:54

flowers
chocolate coins
sweets

VestaTilley · 29/11/2021 20:57

If they’ve been adamant you shouldn’t take anything then I wouldn’t turn up with anything beyond flowers or wine and chocolates - certainly not a table present as that’ll embarrass them as they may not have got you one!

We started table presents (small things) last year to spread out present opening as DS gets so much stuff. We also hold back gifts and he has one to open for each of the Twelve Days until Epiphany, just so he’s not totally overwhelmed.

Whatwouldnanado · 29/11/2021 20:59

Bring chocolates and bunch of flowers or better still a little festive plant arrangement so your host doesn't have to faff about. We have table presents here. It's a tradition that we give the kids money to pick a little something from our excellent local charity shop for us all max 2.50 each.

Honeymint · 29/11/2021 21:00

One year my MIL gave everyone a tiny present on each placemat (we were 4 couples about 27-35 years old).
When we opened them they were little knitted finger puppets of random animals.

It sounds a little silly maybe but they were so much fun. We were all a little bit merry already and finding out which animal you had and then doing daft motions at each other with the finger puppets on really lifted the day.

So my suggestion is daft knitted animal finger puppets.

Holidaytan · 29/11/2021 21:01

I’m just baffled that people have planned their table settings to the ‘nth’ degree. It’s not even December yet, people!!!!!

actiongirl1978 · 29/11/2021 21:03

Send flowers in advance. Very polite, host doesn't have to faff around looking for a vase whilst cooking.

Bwix · 29/11/2021 21:04

I would be quietly mortified if someone brought scratch cards or cellophane party bags to a meal I was hosting. Wouldn’t say anything, but would hate it. Chocolates or a nice card afterwards are lovely.

Honeymint · 29/11/2021 21:08

@TheBareTree

Why aren’t you listening to them? I find it quite rude that you’re ignoring their wishes, though I absolutely recognise that you’re trying to be nice! However, if they are adamant about you not bringing things, please listen and send them something afterwards. It will also be a lovely treat in miserable January.
This is an excellent idea. Sending a ‘thank you for having us’ gift after the fact would be a lovely gesture.

Plus as nice as a table gift is, if they really have continued to insist you don’t bring anything then it may be for the best?

FelicityPike · 29/11/2021 21:53

@Honeymint

One year my MIL gave everyone a tiny present on each placemat (we were 4 couples about 27-35 years old). When we opened them they were little knitted finger puppets of random animals.

It sounds a little silly maybe but they were so much fun. We were all a little bit merry already and finding out which animal you had and then doing daft motions at each other with the finger puppets on really lifted the day.

So my suggestion is daft knitted animal finger puppets.

I love that. Wish I could bloody knit or crochet!
Sn0tnose · 30/11/2021 06:46

I would be quietly mortified if someone brought scratch cards or cellophane party bags to a meal I was hosting

Ffs. I’m not bringing cellophane party bags to a meal being hosted by someone else, nor did I suggest the op does. It’s our job to set out the table in my DH’s family home and it’s a silly little thing that the kids will love that doubles as a place setting.

You’re quite welcome to think it’s tacky and environmentally unfriendly if you like. But a) white lights and bits of twig aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and b) if you have kids, live in anything bigger than a one bedroom flat, have a car or ever go abroad, then you’re certainly not in a position to lecture me about six small cellophane bags going to landfill.

IncompleteSenten · 30/11/2021 10:14

Let your gift be respecting their wishes and not risking ruining Christmas day by upsetting your hosts.

maofteens · 30/11/2021 11:25

I'd bring a plant or flowers - not a poinsettia! Or a good bottle of wine (or two if there's a number of you). You can always say it's for them to keep for themselves.

Starcaller · 30/11/2021 11:36

DSIL gets us each a scratch card every year. I thought it was a bit naff at first but now we look forward to doing them on Christmas morning! It's a bit of fun. DH won £50 last year!

I wouldn't dream of being mortified if guests had the generosity to bring gifts or scratch cards with them, even if they weren't something I would usually do. I would be grateful for the thought and effort.

UniBallEye · 30/11/2021 15:32

Why would anyone 'cringe' or 'seethe' if a guest brought gifts or scratchcards?

I honestly don't understand all this angst, its very Hyacinth Bucket / Alan Bennett really.

I never ask guests to bring anything, and i mean it but I am always very grateful for anything they might bring. The only thing that might put me out is if they bring food for the event and I already have it covered. But it would be a minor fleeting irritation and I would just add it to whatever else was on the table.

I also really don't see the big inconvenience of receiving flowers. If I'm busy at that moment I simply stick them as they are in a vase / pot of water and arrange them when I have time. I adore flowers and am always delighted to be given some.

MN is a very strange place at times, quite alien to my experience

HolidayTime2021 · 30/11/2021 17:58

@UniBallEye

Why would anyone 'cringe' or 'seethe' if a guest brought gifts or scratchcards?

I honestly don't understand all this angst, its very Hyacinth Bucket / Alan Bennett really.

I never ask guests to bring anything, and i mean it but I am always very grateful for anything they might bring. The only thing that might put me out is if they bring food for the event and I already have it covered. But it would be a minor fleeting irritation and I would just add it to whatever else was on the table.

I also really don't see the big inconvenience of receiving flowers. If I'm busy at that moment I simply stick them as they are in a vase / pot of water and arrange them when I have time. I adore flowers and am always delighted to be given some.

MN is a very strange place at times, quite alien to my experience

Because the host will have already provided table gifts. Some guests may not approve of gambling You are suggesting that what the host has provided is not good enough and you need to correct that
Kendodd · 30/11/2021 18:05

Respect their wishes and don't bring anything.

In January sometime, after the celebrations are all done and packed away, send I thank you card and some flowers.

NalPolishRemover · 30/11/2021 18:57

I would be 'mortified' to arrive with nothing. Most hosts will say oh just bring yourself etc but in reality most people bring flowers or a beautiful plant and wine/ champagne & chocolate?

It's not suggesting that what the host provides is inadequate! That's a bit mad really. When a guest has given me flowers or a cake or any gift it has never once crossed my mind to think they thought my hosting wasn't good enough! And I can't imagine seething over being given a gift

HolidayTime2021 · 30/11/2021 19:48

@NalPolishRemover

I would be 'mortified' to arrive with nothing. Most hosts will say oh just bring yourself etc but in reality most people bring flowers or a beautiful plant and wine/ champagne & chocolate?

It's not suggesting that what the host provides is inadequate! That's a bit mad really. When a guest has given me flowers or a cake or any gift it has never once crossed my mind to think they thought my hosting wasn't good enough! And I can't imagine seething over being given a gift

That isnt the same as bringing table gifts
KaryBrown · 30/11/2021 20:14

Another amazing ideea is socks packed in a handmade cracker or you can buy one from www.sockgeeks.co.uk/products/christmas-socks-collection-sock-crackers-pack-of-two?variant=39597174751312

hotmeatymilk · 30/11/2021 20:39

I’d venture people who say “bring nothing” and they’ll “provide everything” already have crackers…