I swear my DH is impossible to buy for…help!

[RaisinFlapjack]

My DH is impossible to buy for, and yet always manages to buy me thoughtful gifts. It’s becoming a bit of a standing joke now that my present-giving is rubbish

I just don’t know where to start.

Things I can’t buy him:

-books or music (all digital these days)
-anything for hobbies/DIY (has everything he needs)
-clothes (too fussy)
-alcohol (teetotal)
-anything for cooking etc (that’s my job)

I’m toying with some kind of experience/voucher thing but to be honest he’d probably never spend it - we have busy lives and young kids and rarely get to go out anywhere.

He’s very particular so even when I am in roughly the right ballpark with a gift it can still be wrong.

I normally buy him some foodie treats and some posh toiletries but it’s getting a bit boring year after year.

Inspiration, anyone?!

But what exactly would that achieve?

Delayed gratification?

Participation in the ritual of gift-giving?

I’ve held back on a number of things I could have easily bought for myself so they can be presents. I think it’s nice, particularly in the culture we have of one-click purchases, to set some things aside and say ‘this is something I’m prepared to wait for’, and to get out of the habit of just thinking we can have what we want exactly when we want it.

@IntemperateSpirits

You say he has everything for DIY but does he have an endoscopic camera? About £30 on Amazon- but you can spend £££ - attaches to a phone or tablet, then you can poke 3-12 metres of bendy cable anywhere you like and look on the phone screen at where it is. For drains, and behind radiators and sofas, in birdboxes and guttering.

You didn't mention food on your list - favourite snack? What about something he could do with the kids?

Thank you for the camera idea! I've just bought one for my equally bloody difficult DH!

My DH buys everything he wants and is a nightmare to buy for. Things he s actually liked in the past
Fodabox man snacks box
Honest Brew speciality beer box
Comedy night out tickets
Concert tickets
Super soft pJ s / socks / pants from BAM
Books on topics he likes / or biography of people he's interested
Weirdly - he loves a box of Hotel Chocolate chocolates
Swiss army pen knife
Latest Fitbit or similar gadget

Thank you for the camera idea! I've just bought one for my equally bloody difficult DH!

Half of the men in the country will be getting endoscopes now - this is definitely the top idea on the thread!

Things that have been a success for my DH, subscription for New Scientist magazine, blood pressure machine, high value book token, box of wine such as Chateneuf du pape or Chablis.

I bought my DH a wildlife camera one year that was relatively successful. He is equally hard to buy for and I am now researching endoscopes

Really annoys me - he’ll buy himself something in December and I’m like “couldn’t you have just asked for it for Christmas?!”

Now that would annoy me. I rarely ask for expensive things and in all honesty if there is something I want I could afford to get it. However I deliberately hold back on treats for myself from about November onwards so I can put them on my list. DH does the same.

You say he is good at getting you presents but is that because you are a) organized enough to provide a list and/or b) graceful enough to show gratitude for any present?

You say your unsuccessful present giving is a joke but personally I would find his attitude very demoralising

Lego has always been a hit with my DH.

Also last year I got him a digital mapping thing from Memory Msp. Basically all the OS maps for UK and license for 5 devices. So he can plot a route on the laptop and then sync this with his phone and thus get the route on there for when we go for a walk. He loves it.

That endoscopic camera sounds interesting. I got DH a wireless otoscope. Similar idea but this is specifically for putting in your ears and comes with little plastic attachments for removing wax. TBF he does get ear was problems so this might not be suitable for everybody.

A lockpicking practice kit was popular.

Raspberry Pi?

You say he is good at getting you presents but is that because you are a) organized enough to provide a list and/or b) graceful enough to show gratitude for any present?

A bit of (a), a tiny bit of (b) but mostly I am easier to buy for (hobbies/interests that lend themselves to buying new stuff) and I’m just less fussy (I buy all sorts of second hand clothes on a whim for instance, while DH will spend ages researching before investing in a new pair of shoes).

@MrsWidgerysLodger Please can you tell me which camera you bought? DH has EVERYTHING, but he’d love the inspection camera.

I saw that the camera on Amazon (that they recommend) is now sold out! 😂

@5foot5 that memory map thing sounds right up my DH's street! Could I ask how you gave it as a gift?

Men are tricky because we tend to buy things ( even it’s just the generally idea ie silly or unusual or useful) we’d like ourselves.
It’s a struggle when I want nothing that’s tech related.

Luckily I have a relatively easier DH with actual hobbies and he loves presents of any description, whatever they are.

Ember mug if he drinks tea or coffee? It’s the gift he doesn’t know he needs!

there is a good thread titled presents for men on aibu

and not an endoscope !

@Howmanysleepsnow

Ember mug if he drinks tea or coffee? It’s the gift he doesn’t know he needs!

This is something that my hubby would love but the price.😲😲

Mind bending puzzles. The 3d sort

Wooden jigsaw puzzles, they have really nice thick ones and some of the pieces are actual shapes. My DH does them with the kids

Movie night with the kids, so popcorn microwave popper, kernels, toppings, voucher for pizza delivery, named icecream bowls for him and the kids and a fancy icecream. Then write a dated invitation for him and the dc and set a date, then you set up the living room with blankets and cushions etc and all have fun

Fancy underwear for you to wear etc etc. but maybe give him this one later in the day and not in front of the kids!

Depends really on your budget OP- my hubby is pretty much same - impossible to get him something, I completely run out of ideas through the years.

What about nice pair of pjs?
British Boxers have a lovely ones-but quite pricey.

british-boxers.com/

[quote Tinseltrauma]@5foot5 that memory map thing sounds right up my DH's street! Could I ask how you gave it as a gift? [/quote]
When I bought it there were various options, i. e as a download or on a USB. I got the USB, which was more expensive but it is licensed for five devices. Also, of course, it meant I had something to wrap up!

That was last year, not sure whether that version is still available

You said he always comes up with thoughtful presents for you, so if he has a tendency to buy himself all the gadgets/digital stuff, how about going the other way and getting him something he doesn’t exactly need or want, but will ‘hopefully’ mean something to him, eg:

• a photo of you & him, him and your dc or all of you beautifully framed

• a personalised, framed map of a place that’s particularly special to you

• a photo book of special memories you share or of a particular event or period in his life

• something similar to a pp’s idea of having something special from childhood restored, like a photo or I believe you can get old favourite toys restored

Not on the High Street and Etsy are good places to look for special personalised items with things like map references, lyrics, soundwaves etc included.

I appreciate these ideas aren’t for everyone, but it’s worth a try if nothing else seems to have interested him and hopefully he’ll appreciate the effort, even if it’s something he may not have chosen himself.

Failing that, if you usually give him edible gifts and he does like those, you can get subscriptions for just about everything from tea, coffee, cheese, chocolate or cakes to pies and specialist diets like paleo, keto, vegan etc. You can wrap the voucher/details up with a sample of the type of food/drink you are subscribing him to. Yumbles is a good place to look for these sorts of things.

Thanks @5foot5 , I don't think the usb is an option this year. I'll maybe print off the page and put it in a gift box!

Oh also

If doing an event thing is something that he usually never uses, then you could book him to go to an event with a friend that is a good organizer. Like two tickets to see a bike race or a bike show. Coordinate with friends other half so they both get a voucher for xmas

NRTFT

My DH & I agreed to buy own own stocking fillers this year and then if we saw something for the other just add to it. DH bought himself a Thor hammer, yes you heard that right. A small Lego set & something else I can’t remember. I’ve bought him a Han Solo encased in carbonate figure, an escape room game for us to play when DCs in bed & he asked for the big ghostbusters Lego car as a birthday/Christmas present. Since WFH he’s set himself a nice office which is full of a lot of our sci-fi stuff we had packed away for years.

If there are movies he dose like you can get pictures with bits of the movie film in them. I doubt they are real but they look good, my DH has Star Wars and ghostbusters ones up.

Also what about a nice pen? My DH got me a really nice Parker pen set for my birthday, not something I’d ever justify buying for myself.

Is there something career related you could buy? Thinking along the likes of if he’s a Dr something antique medical related, my old gp use to collect old medical equipment, solicitor, a particular law book etc…

Biography on someone he likes?