I swear my DH is impossible to buy for…help!

[RaisinFlapjack]

My DH is impossible to buy for, and yet always manages to buy me thoughtful gifts. It’s becoming a bit of a standing joke now that my present-giving is rubbish

I just don’t know where to start.

Things I can’t buy him:

-books or music (all digital these days)
-anything for hobbies/DIY (has everything he needs)
-clothes (too fussy)
-alcohol (teetotal)
-anything for cooking etc (that’s my job)

I’m toying with some kind of experience/voucher thing but to be honest he’d probably never spend it - we have busy lives and young kids and rarely get to go out anywhere.

He’s very particular so even when I am in roughly the right ballpark with a gift it can still be wrong.

I normally buy him some foodie treats and some posh toiletries but it’s getting a bit boring year after year.

Inspiration, anyone?!

Wow your describing my DH. He is impossible to buy for, and I hate buying for the sake of it. He gives me very specific instructions when it comes to clothes and things. This year I’ve taken a chance and got him a micro projector you can hock up to a phone or tv. No idea if it will go down like a lead balloon

For someone like this, I would look at what they already own and just buy an upgraded version of it or replacement for anything on its last legs. So sheepskin slippers, a designer belt, etc.
Also, maybe the food and posh toiletries is exactly what he likes. Boring for you, but not for him. Maybe some new ideas of posh food are needed here...

I know you mentioned about not having a babysitter, but if someone was able to have the DC how about a flight to see the northern lights?

I feel your pain OP
My DH is into cooking - so specific knives/ooni pizza oven/handy things for the kitchen/nice bowls for popcorn/rice cooker etc have been good for him.
I think pp suggestion of sports massage vouchers is a good one.
Those massage things (there are head/body etc. Ones)?
Expensive scent?
Art (for office/anywhere)?
Trip away and get babysitters (even if you don’t have regular sitters)?
Does he do gardening…? There are a series of Japanese tools my DH bought me some of that are incredible and far superior to regular tools.
Posh grooming stuff he wouldn’t think to buy?

Adult lego although if he does play with it, he'll probably have a job on stopping the DCs from destroying it.

At the risk of being the MN grump, maybe he could do with an attitude upgrade...?

I'm supposedly hard to buy for but I'd never tell anyone they'd got my present 'wrong', and certainly never dream of allowing it to turn it into a running joke that the problem is with their present-giving.

That sounds really unpleasant for you –I'm sorry it's turned into such a source of stress for you!

Dash cam for the car. A wall mounted led emergency flashlight, they are really good!
A warm blanket. New pillow. A cook book so that you don’t have to do all the cooking. A wooden game from et games, we love the Rollet one. It is so nicely made, and suits most ages.

etgames.co.uk/product/rollet/

A nice belt or socks. A bbq. Wilson ball from the film Castaway (we have ours by the tv, it looks pretty cool)!

www.amazon.co.uk/Wilson-Castaway-Volleyball/dp/B07ZK175ST?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I was at Adult Lego. The mind boggled …. it’s just nerdier Star Wars though…

I wouldn't bother.

That's really sad

What was wrong with the pizza oven?!

Based on a similar thread last year I bought DH a cheese making kit and a bonsai. 😆 He never made the cheese and the bonsai is half dead. 🤷‍♀️

@Suggestions2021

That's really sad

What was wrong with the pizza oven?!

Was that go me?

There was nothing wrong with the pizza oven! He's such a grinch! He just doesn't really like having money spent on him. It's fine and usually I don't get him much, but last year thought maybe that would be a good one. No it was not! Back to wine and food.

Good gifts?
Adopt an animal?
Gift cards for preferred coffee shop

Something techie- iPad stylus, shower speakers, upgrade his headphones?

Food Hamper...nice christmas things like big ham, smoked salmon, cheese, crackers, chutneys, fancy biscuits. Yummy!

I have the same issue, that's my go to now

I'm a nightmare to buy to. I like to buy second hand, don't generally need much and absolutely hate surprises. And I don't like people spending money on me.

I honestly wouldn't mind not getting presents, consumables are great, as long as they are not stupid expensive - I don't really drink either so chocolate it is !

Could you just... not do presents?! My partner and I don’t buy for each other for this exact reason; the few ideas I do have get suggested to family members when they panic message me asking what he’d like! I do try to keep a list of bits he mentions throughout the year for when his birthday rolls around, but he will usually buy what he really wants himself.

Theatre tickets to a show/comedian etc
Restaurant voucher to his favourite
Bletchley Park tickets
Speed boating experience

Ooni pizza oven , cooking might be your job but this is fire - men usually love fire !

Other things , Apple AirPods or other wireless headphones , wallet , aftershave or Milton brown shower gel etc , bacon / cheese / sausage / chorizo making kits. Kombucha starter kit , aarke or soda stream if he likes sparkling water , insulated coffee cup or chilly water bottle

I feel your pain, my DH is very difficult to buy for and anything he wants he just buys for himself!

What about a family weekend away? Disneyland Paris on the Eurostar maybe?

Thanks for all the suggestions!

Lots of them aren’t suitable.

Tech stuff - he has ALL THE GADGETS, and generally if he wants something he just buys it. Really annoys me - he’ll buy himself something in December and I’m like “couldn’t you have just asked for it for Christmas?!”

Make your own cheese/beer etc - tried this kind of thing before, he’ll never get round to doing it.

Experience stuff - mostly not his bag or he’d never get round to booking it and it’d go to waste.

Gardening - my job.

Pizza oven - we have cheap version, he has used it precisely never.

I have taken a few thoughts away from the thread though and have come up with some ideas.

As for the MN grump who says it all sounds sad and stressful - it’s kind of irritating but really my present fails are just a lighthearted joke between us - I’d much rather he was honest with me and returned stuff he doesn’t like rather than pretend.

I do normally suggest we rein it in on present buying and then he goes OTT buying stuff for me, while he gets socks, chocolate and something destined to be returned to the shop! And this year I’ve actually built up quite a list of things I want for myself so it’s probably not the time to enforce a no present rule

Honestly. If he just buys what he wants anyway why bother?
Or tell him not to buy for you either and just give each other a mutual gift - a night away or a weekend away or a posh meal together ?

Really annoys me - he’ll buy himself something in December and I’m like “couldn’t you have just asked for it for Christmas

But what exactly would that achieve?

Honestly, I'd stop buying him big things and have a conversation.

Just buy each other a few little tokens that you know he'd like and ask him to do the same for you.

Then instead of you racking your brains and getting stressed thinking of things for him, just use the money to buy the things you want for you. Totally liberating when you realise you are allowed to do this.

Why are men so difficult to buy for.

In the past I’ve bought mine tickets for various sporting events, had his cricket cap framed, a poster signed by his favourite sports star, one of those fake newspaper reports about winning the Ryder cup (there’s a theme developing here ) and this year I’m having an old photo of him with his mother and brothers, restored. It’s the only one he has. They are all dead now, and it’s very badly faded so I’m hoping he’ll love it

We are exactly the same so we’ve put the same amount of money in each and bought each other a mini break! We said we will then spend £10 on jokey gifts (we always do this) and I can’t wait to spend some alone time with him! More more exciting than perfume, jewellery or tools…