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Original poster

If you're not doing elf on the shelf...

87 replies

bob1985 · 21/11/2021 07:11

What do you tell your DC?

I really DON'T want to do elf on the shelf. DD at an age this year where she might start asking about why some of her friends have a magic elf and she doesn't.

How do you explain it's not one of your traditions without saying something that might be upsetting if she repeats it to one of her friends?

OP posts:
hiredandsqueak · 21/11/2021 09:09

Dd is doing the "three kings" thing for dgs apparently. She will put out the nativity and then the three kings will be in a different spot each morning with a gold coin for dgs to find until they make it to the stable before he goes to bed Christmas Eve. I thought it was quite a sweet idea.

ThirdElephant · 21/11/2021 09:11

@mafted

Although whilst here can I please add a public service announcement on behalf of all teachers and school workers. If you do elf on the shelf we really don't want it in school. 3 times so far this year I've firmly told a parent to take the flaming elf home and it's not even December yet!!!

It's bloody school who started the whole Elf business here!
Each class has one and every December morning they encourage parents to put pictures of the children's elf activities on dojo so they can all share the 'fun'.
One of my DC kept coming home feeling sad that FC hadn't sent us an Elf, and the teacher helpfully told him if he asked Mummy to help him write a letter then FC would send him one and she told me I should be able to buy one in Poundland Hmm Angry

Oh, please tell me you made a strongly worded complaint?
Teenstress11 · 21/11/2021 09:18

My youngest is 4 and I did it last year. But I literally just move it onto a picture frame or hiding behind his toys- nothing elaborate. My son doesn't think the Elf watches him, or is real, he just thinks it is a funny game/toy. I find it creepy how parents say the Elf watches them, and that they can't touch or play with the Elf.

livingthegoodlife · 21/11/2021 09:22

No elf here. My children have asked me why we don't have one, they were desperate to have previously. I just said we don't have one, shrugged my shoulders and said I didn't know why. Mysterious. Father Christmas knows why and that is it. They accepted it. Best not to go into too much detail.

LookMoreCloselier · 21/11/2021 09:35

I just told ds i hate the elf, it's stupid and we're not getting one. He accepted that. Grin

Vickles20 · 21/11/2021 09:42

My 4 kids have a cute little soft toy fairy elf each. They were from IKEA a few years back. Petal, Polly, Buddy and Elfie. They arrive 1st Dec with their ‘elf doors’ and write a letter each Sunday night on the build up to December. The kids write back. Their elves bring the advent calendar on 1st and each Sunday something Christmassy. And ends with the Christmas Eve bags and they go. Kids are 17,13,10,8. And they are already talking about their elves coming soon. The Christmassy items they bring are re used most years. Books, clothes, toys, with some new things.

RoxytheRexy · 21/11/2021 09:44

We had the Elf only on weekends. Made him much more tolerable

DappledThings · 21/11/2021 09:47

DS asked once if we could have an elf. I just said no, it's silly and it was never mentioned again. One of the many things that is only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

WhatHappenedToTheLego · 21/11/2021 09:54

Dc asked for one in Y1 or Y2, I think everyone else had one.

I just acted horrified at all the mess they make, and worried that the dog would (rightly) take offence to a tiny intruder chucking flour or shaving foam around in the night and take action.
Or that the dog might then think causing havoc in the night was ok and join in too.

We agreed that we didn't want the dog into trouble (either with Santa or with me Wink), so we wouldn't have an elf.

AliceAldridge · 21/11/2021 09:59

I just said the Elf doesn't come to our village as we are too rural. It only came up once!

AliceAldridge · 21/11/2021 10:00

I just said we don't have one, shrugged my shoulders and said I didn't know why. Mysterious. Father Christmas knows why and that is it. Grin

Whiskeylover86 · 21/11/2021 10:05

I'm going to say if DS asks that it's a subscription to santa, and mummy hasn't subscribed to it. Tbf he hasn't shown much interest if at all, so might be spared giving this explanation

Shufflebumnessie · 21/11/2021 10:09

DS asked me a couple of years ago why some of his friends have an elf staying with them and we didn't. I explained that everyone has different traditions and we do other fun things that perhaps his friends don't.

Jumpingintochristmas · 21/11/2021 10:11

DD has a soft toy elf she can cuddle and play with.
She brings Christmas pyjamas and her advent calendar on December 1st, a few random treats throughout the month then hitches a lift back to the North Pole with Father Christmas on Christmas Eve.

No time for the naughty ones!

Camomila · 21/11/2021 10:17

As far as I know my DS1 (year 1) hasn't heard of elf on the shelf. Phew!

MarshaBradyo · 21/11/2021 10:18

They have never brought it up

BikeMyCycle · 21/11/2021 10:23

@Theunamedcat

My child begged me not to get the creepy elf so it was a win for me!
Haha same! I know my daughter would hate the idea that an elf is roaming around the house while she’s asleep....she’s a terrible sleeper anyway 😂
supremelybaffled · 21/11/2021 10:26

Why is this a thing now?

Carrie76 · 21/11/2021 10:26

I had a phone call from my sons school last year saying he was upsetting other children by saying the elf wasn’t real and doesn’t move around itself. I was really annoyed he was 8 at the time, surely to god kids of that age know it’s their parents!

DappledThings · 21/11/2021 10:29

@Carrie76

I had a phone call from my sons school last year saying he was upsetting other children by saying the elf wasn’t real and doesn’t move around itself. I was really annoyed he was 8 at the time, surely to god kids of that age know it’s their parents!
Why are the school getting involved in that anyway? That's ridiculous.
BertieBotts · 21/11/2021 10:32

They have never mentioned it.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/11/2021 10:40

Watch Labyrinth with them, tell them that’s what elves are really like. (Well, dont obviously, but I hate EOTS so much I’d be tempted)

DamnYouAutoCarRental · 21/11/2021 10:41

We don't do elf on the shelf, the children have never asked about it. Some of my friends do elaborate, amusing things every night and put them all over Facebook. Their children never mention their elves, haven't ever come up in conversation when we've talked about what they enjoy at Christmas.

If you want to 'keep the magic alive' I'd go with some elves are very shy, do we have one but we never see it. If you don't care I'd just go with we don't have/need one.

Sparklingbrook · 21/11/2021 10:44

It didn’t exist when my two were little. It sounds like the sort of thing that might be fun the first time then become a right pain year after year and you wish you’d never started it. And you’d be wondering when you can pack it in.

GrandPrismatic · 21/11/2021 10:47

@Username916

I said sometimes santa needs to keep an eye on some children but she's been so good they don't need to send an elf to us Blush
Brilliant…this is getting used in our house this year!