If you're not doing elf on the shelf...

[bob1985]

What do you tell your DC?

I really DON'T want to do elf on the shelf. DD at an age this year where she might start asking about why some of her friends have a magic elf and she doesn't.

How do you explain it's not one of your traditions without saying something that might be upsetting if she repeats it to one of her friends?

Mine are teens now, thank God, but at the time I said “oh, are they real?! I thought the parents did it?” followed by a reminder that it’s rude to question their friends’ beliefs, just in case they decided to relay that back to them!

DD decided I was wrong and it was real. A friend told her that all children have elves, but some were shy and didn’t like to been seen or make a mess.

Funnily enough, now they’re teens we do have an elf, but we all help to move it and obviously no one believes it’s real, so it’s not a huge chore.

I hate that bloody elf crap too. My DD has been asking why we don't have one for a couple of years and I've managed to sidestep by saying 'we don't do that'. But this year she's stepped up the pestering by saying she's 'literally the only kid in her class that doesn't have one' 🙄. I'm going to try and stay strong but I feel my resolve reluctantly caving 😩. Help!

I hate elf on the shelf and refused to have one. Until my Aunty thought it was hilarious to get one for my DC and give it to them without telling me. So no we’re stuck with the bastard. But I’ve never pretended he was actually real. I didn’t realise people did! I just thought it was a ‘fun’ thing to change what he did each night. My DC are under no illusion that he is real and up to mischief! I mean, they’re young, not stupid - they can touch the plastic

My 3yo grasps that toys aren’t real, so I can’t see him believing that it’s a real elf. If I tried to do it he’d say ‘mum it’s just a toy’?

I’ve just never said anything? Mine know they’re not real because they’ve seen them piled high with the Christmas decorations in Asda and have never been bothered for taking part in the elf game.

If asked I just say it's a game some families play, their parents move it, but don't tell the kids and spoil it for them. I'm not pretending there are toy elves coming to life and spying on kids and honestly I'd be surprised if any kids believe it's magic, I think they just play along to get presents!

@bob1985

Omg they go to school!

Yes! Every year its getting worse as more parents think we should take part in creating 'the magic' for their children during school hours. It wasn't too bad when it first became popular as they never touched them but now it's just seen as another toy so they get carted off to school.

i guess i'm just worried i'll say it's not real and she'll tell her friends this...

and i'll then end up being responsible for 'ruining' christmas

I’ve never been asked and never thought about the issue, I do see what you mean. I tell my DD that it’s not true that what Santa gets you depends on being good, I hate that narrative, and explain truthfully that it’s just something adults will say to get children to behave. I never thought that she
Might repeat that to others!!

@bob1985

i guess i'm just worried i'll say it's not real and she'll tell her friends this...

and i'll then end up being responsible for 'ruining' christmas

I wouldn't worry, OP. I mean, there are piles of the things in supermarkets, as PP said. Surely it's fairly obvious to even the most gullible of DC that they're not real?

Our Elf sometimes just sits on the window ledge outside their bedroom to report back to Santa if they don’t go to sleep. Hardly any effort required and they still love it. Sometimes I move him but nothing to elaborate. I might put him in The Christmas tree or pretend he’s eating the advent calendar chocolates. It’s a bit of fun and the kids absolutely love him.

Mine was terrified by the thought of an elf until about a week before Christmas last year. He became so upset wondering why he hadn’t got one and all his friends did ☹️
I caved and got one. It was worth it to see his face light up. He was so pleased with the elf that it didn’t seem to bother him that it was a quiet elf who didn’t to many tricks! He cuddled it hard most nights and decided that the elf must’ve been too comfy in his bed to get up and be naughty.
I really hope we can get away with that version again this year!

“They’re not real elves, they’re just toys. Do you think if they were FC’s real elves you’d be able to buy them in a shop? All of the real elves are busy getting ready for Christmas!”

I would never tell a child that FC isn’t real but those terrifying little elves are just ridiculous. I’m afraid I’m slightly of the opinion that if you choose to lie to your children (and I know it’s pretty much a harmless lie) then you can’t complain too much if they find out the truth earlier than you’d like, as long as it’s not malicious.

runs and hides from the ruining Christmas police

Peer pressure got to me a couple
of years ago. I saw an idea online and nabbed it which worked brilliantly. Each morning the elf is in the same place (doing nothing!) But holding a letter. Over the course of advent they collect the letters and make a message. Something like "father Christmas is coming." There's no way I'm buying a toy and spending my evenings making a mess, just to spend my morning cleaning it up again!
They love it and I've never pretended it's a real elf. They aren't daft so I'm sure they know it's a toy!

@mumpants

We've never done it. I just told them we don't do it...

Not if they are invested in their Xmas present list 💪🤷‍♀️

Just tell them it’s not real, it’s a new thing. Tell them about the people who came up with it and their excellent marketing, nice early lesson in entrepreneurship and not falling for adverts. That’s what I did and they found it really interesting, we giggled the company. Maybe suggest they do t tell their friends though.

Googled not giggled!

We've got an elf coming this year and I've told my very literal autistic 6 year old he's just here to check he's behaving. He's excited enough about that, I don't intend to move him at all

I'm only one of a handful who doesn't do this and my kids have asked why we don't have an elf and I was just honest and said that it's not real and I'm too busy to be messing around with something like that every day. I also said we do lots of lovely things over Christmas so I don't think having a naughty elf would be much more extra fun. They were accepting and don't really care tbh.

I've just said "I wouldn't like a naughty elf coming into the house" and DD seems to have accepted it and agreed.

Although whilst here can I please add a public service announcement on behalf of all teachers and school workers. If you do elf on the shelf we really don't want it in school. 3 times so far this year I've firmly told a parent to take the flaming elf home and it's not even December yet!!!

It's bloody school who started the whole Elf business here!
Each class has one and every December morning they encourage parents to put pictures of the children's elf activities on dojo so they can all share the 'fun'.
One of my DC kept coming home feeling sad that FC hadn't sent us an Elf, and the teacher helpfully told him if he asked Mummy to help him write a letter then FC would send him one and she told me I should be able to buy one in Poundland

No elves here either, no explanation, we just don't do it.

CaMePlaitPas

The kids who need surveillance get sent an elf by Santa but you've been so good this year Santa's said you didn't need one.

Good one! I’ll spread this great idea around to everyone who doesn’t want the hassle of the elf. Thank you 😊

Blimey mafted! I’d have been livid! Are there no children that don’t celebrate Christmas in the class, would she have done that to parents of a non Christian faith?

W
To be fair mafted in those circumstances you're absolutely right to be cross. I know some schools do have an elf but I've never heard of one demanding everyone has one at home too, do the school not have a very diverse catchment?