21 year old son doesn’t want anything !!!

[GoodnightGrandma]

He’s always hated doing me a list.
He’s away at Uni, and I’m sure he’d just appreciate the money but I want to get him a surprise he wouldn’t expect from his old mother, and some other things to open.
So, doesn’t need a phone, won’t have a new laptop, no alcohol, no dairy, no mini fridge/waffle maker/coffee machine.
For basics I’m thinking of a brand new out aftershave, and some clothes, but what ?

Does he have a good weekend bag?
Anything he needs for uni such as a good set of knives or pint glasses?
Nice reusable coffee cup and gift card
Alarm clock
Laptop bag
Wallet
Belt
Nice pen set
Books
Cash
Anything hobby related, such as sports gear?

I do think this is just buying objects for the sake of it. If he's said he doesn't want anything, he doesn't want anything and would probably rather choose things he does want, himself. They really do prefer money and maybe you could add a pizza hut/Costa/whatever food place gift card as well?

My daughter's the same, lives minimally in a small room and would like new glasses and money. Nothing else.

What about tickets to something he really wants to see? A show? A sports game? Or a membership to something he’d be really into?

New bedding (if he’s anything like my DS and his peers, everything needs to be black, white and grey!) Posh toiletries. Fragrance. If he’s into designer labels, maybe a designer belt, or sunglasses.
Also, I like to get my DS Lego, which he does sit and make! Just as a kiddy throwback thing!

If he doesn't want anything and would prefer cash then get a tub if celebrations, open them and stuck how ever many £20 notes you can afford in there. You would have respected his wishes but also given him a present to always remember.

Backpack
Trainers
Hoody
Jeans
Aftershave
Toiletries
Socks
Hat
Costa/Starbucks voucher
Just eat voucher
Tickets to football/basketball game whatever sport he likes
Sweets
Flask

I agree with not buying stuff for the sake of it, but even for young adult children it's great to find something which is not wasteful for them to open.
You could make a stocking, with mundane things like deodorant and toothpaste, some goodies like nuts or Pringles, herbs / spices to use at uni if he's self catering; socks; boxers; a magazine that suits his I retests etc

Does he have stuff that needs upgrading like bath towels/dressing gown/bedding/rucksack?
Does he have a decent portable phone charger?
Cinema vouchers if he likes going, or restaurant chain vouchers. I am a bit nervous about vouchers in these uncertain times so would encourage him to use them up quickly

I never want anything at Christmas. I find the 'getting' of stuff stressful.

(not in an uber heavy way.. just happy without).

My son is similar but I buy some nice boxers, ethical toiletries (L’Occitane or even shampoo bars etc from Lush) - little things he maybe wouldn’t treat himself to. He always seems appreciative.

He uses a rucksack a lot for Uni, gym and popping home, so if there’s a trendy must-have one I’d be interested to know.
Starbucks card will be very useful to him.
Hoody he will use, need a trendy ‘down with the kids’ brand.
Socks and boxers I will do - are there any designer ones he’d like ?
Herbs and spices will go down well, he cooks. Is there anything new in the cooking world ?
I’ll also do toiletries in his stocking.
He does want stuff, he just can’t be bothered doing a list !
Would it be worth upgrading his AirPods to the new ones ? His are plug in.

I had the same problem with my ds when he went to uni. He’s pretty self sufficient and never asked us for a single penny. But come Christmas he never needed or wanted anything. (He’s still the same!)

Also had the added arse ache of him having to try and cart everything back to uni on the train/aeroplane.

Used to get him practical stuff like socks pants, t-shirts, jumpers, hat, scarf, wallet, shoes, backpack, pyjamas/loungewear.
Chocolate/goodies he could eat whilst home. Alcohol he could drink with friends/girlfriend whilst partying over the Christmas period.
One year I finally managed to get him agree to a new winter coat (been refusing for years saying his old one was fine…it wasn’t it was so worn the padding had gone flat!) and he wore it going back and I chucked his old threadbare coat in the bin!

I got him the retro Nintendo mini console thing which he liked and was small enough to pack in his case.

AirPod upgrades are a good idea if he uses them all them all the time.

New coat is a good one.
He’s like me, he buys what he needs, so never needs anything ! I’m just trying to find things that he never realised he needed 🤣

Unless he's a competent gourmet, or has limited tastes, the Spicery legend kits are good for people interested in cooking.

There's Indian, Mexican and mezze and you get 4 tins of spice blends and a recipe book to make a selection of recipes without needing other spices

If he doesn't have them already the Rukmini Iyer Roasting Tin books are very good, my 19 y/o dd uses them loads. The Green Roasting Tin probably gets the most use, even though she isn't veggie.

I'm also considering getting her a good chef's knife for Christmas, I've been recommended Global and Zwilling in a thread I started on here. (Only slight hiccup being that I think she might be about to take a live-in job where they cook on site with shared facilities)

I have the same problem with my 22yo! I always get him (and his brothers) a hoody, or Tshirt.
This year it's t-shirts from the Marine Conservation. Plus trackie-bottoms. They always get socks or pants in the stocking, along with a small toy(tiny nerf guns were popular last year) and chocolate and various spice mixes (like cooking) or smellies.

I got my DS3 a DashCam last year for is car, but this won't work if he can't drive.

This year he wants some Vans, so that's one of his presents.

My DS's of similar ages have all had Apple AirPods and loved them, and use them daily
2 of them wear Carhartt hoodies/ shirts Great quality but can be expensive.
I bought DS2 a lovely bracelet from Pig and Hen which he was delighted with
All have liked Paco Rabanne Invictus and Invictus victory
Wireless charging pad or stand.
Power bank
Apple Airtags are useful too
I've just realised what similar tastes my 3 have
Hope this helps for inspiration

Deliveroo voucher? My DD at uni always says what a great pressie they are.

When I went to uni, my mum bought me a Tupperware box and put about 20 jars of common herbs and spices in it - oregano, thyme, basil, cumin, coriander, chili powder etc. It was the most wonderful thing - really practical and useful and it made cooking nice food so much more accessible because I didn't have to worry about blowing £10 on 3 little jars I might not use again soon.

My 20 year old son said exactly the same last night, he said give the money l would have spent on him to his younger brother.
He left school at 16, has worked full time last four years, now in a bank, earning good money, so has all he needs and wants really. Last year l got him a nice leather journal and pen off Amazon, and gave him some money, chocs etc, this year l am racking my brains.
He likes going out to eat so l may just buy him a giftcard, a bottle of his favourite tipple and spend more on my youngest who is 16.

Without knowing what type of person he is, good brands are hard to say. Carharrt or Supreme are always a winner, although can be expensive. They’re both a weird crossover of super-normy and alternative at the same time so most kids his age will probably appreciate it. Bit more youthful than regular designer stuff.

Although I baulk at buying expensive undies for my kids while I wear BonPrix ones, they’re the ones who have their trousers hanging off their arse so you can see the waistband so I guess they appreciate them more!

*Carhartt or however it’s spelled!

Thanks everyone 🎄

Maybe suggest he open something like a stocks and shares ISA so you can make a deposit and get him a token gift like nice PJs

My son has said he really does not want or need presents. I asked if he would like me to get him a charity gift instead so he is “getting” a sheep that will be for a lady in Bangladesh.